White Woman Shares The Unique Challenges Of Being The Mother To A Biracial Child
A personal quest for equality.
shutterstock Pamela, a white woman, married Walter, an African American man and together they had a biracial child.
As the Black Lives Matter protests and fight for justice continue, Pamela shared the story of her family and particularly the challenges she has faced as the white mother of a biracial child.
In the original Facebook post, she wrote,
"I know a lot of you are tired of the protests and tired of the changes and tired of people complaining.
"Well, I’m tired of having to find a different gas station when the one we drive by has two trucks with confederate flags and 6 white boys in sleeveless shirts standing around outside.
'I’m tired of my husband having to talk to everyone and never complain even when they mess up his order 10,000 times, I’m tired of driving Damn near everywhere, I’m tired of the sick feeling I get when a cop pulls behind us, I’m tired of having to worry anytime my husband has to work OT and leaves in the middle of the night, I’m tired and I’ve only been on this ride 7 years, imagine a lifetime of this!"
They have encountered so many problems together as an interracial couple.
In the Original Facebook post on their page called The Chandler Crew, they list out all the things their little family is challenged by on a daily basis.
1. "I have to handle store clerks, returns, getting documents signed, anything with any federal building or administrative work, I get further with any type of “paperwork” thing that needs handled, people listen to me and are much more agreeable than with him."
2. "The chances that we find a Black or Interracial couple on a greeting card are SLIM. Unless you want to give the same Black Couple card every year, which we have. There are hundreds of white couples to choose from though!"
3. "My husband goes out of his way to be nice and talk to EVERYONE. Not because he’s a people person, but because he has learned that a 6’5 Black man intimidates people and so he overcompensates by being overly friendly so people won’t be afraid of him."
4. "If Walter is pushing the cart I always have to have my receipt ready when leaving the store."
5. "None of our neighbors thought we owned our home, multiple neighbors stopped my father and asked him if he was the new landlord for us. Because of course, the old white man must have purchased the home. Not only do we own our home, it’s fully paid off, we have no mortgage and we paid for it BY OURSELVES."
6. "It took us YEARS to find a church without racist undertones and low key racist members, YEARS!"
7. "When doll shopping our daughter gets 25 white options and 1-2 black or mixed-race doll options."
8. "The same people who stop us daily to say how adorable our daughter is, are the same people who would cross the street if Walter was walking alone."
9. "We avoid all places with confederate flags."
10. "If we go to Bob Evans (or any restaurant that caters to “seniors”) too early we are met with a lot of stares, the old racists eat between 4-5pm."
11. "When Walter goes to a playground with our daughter he constantly stays by her side, if not he gets stares and people wonder what the “big black man” is doing on the park bench."
12. "Walter is concerned our Black Lives Matter sign by the door will make us a target when he is not home so he asked me to remove it."
13. "I have to drive basically anytime we are leaving the Dayton area. We don’t talk about it each time, we just both know that if we are leaving our general “safe” area and heading to smaller town Ohio roads I’m the one driving."
Pamela's whole post is a call to action.
She created The Chandler Crew Facebook page called to connect with others that live in the same type of situation and create unity.
She wants to see some real change come out of the racial riots happening right now.
She says, "This is just a small glimpse into the intentional and unintentional racism that happens everywhere, all the time."
She is hoping to help make the world a better place for her biracial daughter.
It's time for changes and to really become aware of what's really going on in our society.
We all need to work to make society not act the way this family has been treated or affect anyone else like this ever again.
Emily Francos is a writer who covers relationships, pop culture, and news topics.