The Detailed Truth About INFJ Compatibility In Relationships
This is what it takes to make love work for the INFJ personality type.
getty According to the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, the INFJ personality type — Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging — is described as someone who seeks "meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions."
People who are INFJs are deeply curious about what it is that motivates others. Combined with their observant nature, this curiosity makes them particularly insightful about the people they love.
INFJ personalities are strong in their values and "develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good," while also being "organized and decisive in implementing their vision."
INFJ Compatibility In Relationships
People with an INFJ personality type are typically warm and considerate of their significant other in a relationship. They feel deeply for their partner and express their love because they enjoy it.
In INFJ relationships, as in most aspects of their life, INFJs are perfectionists. This can be frustrating to a partner who sees perfectionism as anything other than charming.
Partners to INFJs must appreciate the work an INFJ puts into the relationship because they show sincerity and commitment to their relationship. INFJs enjoy healthy relationships and match personally well with extroverts.
INFJs fall in love when they are able to not only bond with, but also be helpful to, their significant other.
Performing acts of service for their partner is the love language through which INFJs tangibly show they care. They view intimacy as a service which they are happy to offer, and they embrace the opportunity to give their partner unconditional love.
INFJs are most attracted to people with these MBTI personality types:
ENTP
The ENTP personality type is outspoken, resourceful, and, according to the MBTI, "adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically." This personality is also great at reading others.
An INFJ and an ENTP personality pairing make a great couple because the ENTP personality is more of an extrovert, but are still compassionate and understanding. ENTP will bring an INFJ out of their shell, using a creative and resourceful approach.
ENFP
The ENFP personality type is enthusiastic with a huge imagination. They find that life is full of endless opportunities, and, says the MBTI, "make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see." They openly give support to those they love, and need affirmation in return.
When it comes to INFJ compatibility, ENFPs will push an INFJ out of their comfort zone, but also give the INFJ the love and attention they need to have a meaningful relationship. These personalities balance each other out because they both need affirmation and give the same amount to each other.
An INFJ will thrive in this type of relationship because both personality types offer help and appreciation.
ENFJ
The ENFJ personality type is empathetic, reliable, and highly attuned to the emotions of others around them. According to the MBTI, ENFJs find "potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential," and "may act as catalysts for individual and group growth."
This loyal personality type is a leader, handles criticism well, and is sociable. They have the capability to bring out the best in INFJ, and both make up for what their partner lacks in a relationship.
INFJ benefits from their partner being in tune with their emotions, and need someone who is willing to bring up feelings. This makes for good communication where the lines are kept open. Where an INFJ lacks social skills by being an introvert, an ENFJ is sociable, meaning they are able to give each other what they need to feel comfortable and happy.
Which MBTI types do INFJs not get along with?
ISTP
ISTP personality types are known as the Virtuoso and have an unquenchable curiosity for the world around them. The MBTI describes ISTPs as “tolerant and flexible” people who are “interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles” and “value efficiency.”
While INFJs want deep, healthy relationships where partners truly connect, ISTPs would rather have fun and stay in the moment. Conflicts arise in a potential romantic situation because INFJs are sensitive and feel things at a deep level, while an ISTP prefers to stay in reality rather than think in idealistic terms.
ESTP
The ESTP personality is energetic and active in their approach to life. The MBTI describes this personality as people who “focus on the here-and-now.” They are “spontaneous, enjoy each moment that they can be active” and “learn best through doing.”
Unfortunately, INFJs do not mix well with ESTPs, mainly because ESTPs are insensitive and unemotional. Much like their inability to connect with ISTP, INFJs can be put off by ESTP’s need to staying active, and the two struggle to communicate; where INFJ is focused on meaning, ESTP is straightforward and not too receptive to idealism.
ESTJ
The ESTJ personality is practical and organized. And, according to the MBTI, “focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible.” This personality type is detail-oriented and is “forceful in implementing their plans.”
These two Myers-Briggs personalities are radically different, meaning a romantic relationship comes with its fair share of issues. Where the INFJ is focused on idealistic plans and openly embraces change, an ESTJ personality prefers tradition.
These two individuals don’t see eye to eye on anything, and become frustrated in their differing approaches when it comes to their goals and dreams.
How do you make an INFJ happy?
INFJs often feel passionate and intense. It can be hard for this personality type to be in a long-term relationship because they sometimes keep themselves from seeing the true form of their newest love flame.
It’s important for them to be patient until the right person comes along. It's more likely an INFJ will meet that right person if they can wait until they find their right match, and, frankly, an INFJ cannot settle for anything less. Even then, for the relationship to work, the INFJ must also be willing to nurture it.
These relationships are rare because INFJs make up only about 1 percent of the population. If you’re in a relationship with an INFJ, you will learn quite quickly if they reciprocate the same feelings; they will pick up on your emotions and shifts in mood quite well, no matter how small.
In a relationship, an INFJ must be able to reciprocate the same level of love that they are receiving. They need deep connections with their partner because they desire more than just something purely physical.
A relationship with an INFJ is something that will last for a long time because this personality is fiercely loyal and is not one to walk away. They look for the long-term.
What does an INFJ need when starting a relationship?
To win over the INFJ personality, there are a few things to keep in mind.
1. Don’t be glued to your phone.
An INFJ needs you to leave your phone out of sight because they don’t like competing with technology.
2. Pay attention to them.
Always give them your undivided attention.
3. Don’t pressure them.
Never press the INFJ to try things they are uncomfortable with.
4. Keep your conversation light and meaningful.
That means refraining from discussions of heavy topics.
5. They aren’t impressed by money.
Try to stay humble. Don't brag about all you can provide for them if you have the money to splurge on fancy dinners, because they aren’t impressed by money.
6. Take your time.
Take things slow when you start getting intimate because INFJs need a little coaxing. Try not to surprise them by moving too quickly.
7. Keep intimacy slow.
Kiss her slowly because you don't want to move faster than they are willing to go. Let the INFJ initiate kissing and then move slowly.
8. Let them open up.
Again, let them be vulnerable on their own time, rather than pressuring them to talk about things that make them uncomfortable.
9. Be truthful.
Never lie to them because they will never trust you completely ever again. As soon as you shatter that trust, you won’t regain it; it’s hard for them to overcome deceit and lies.
Emily Francos is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics. To read more of her work, follow her on Facebook.