How To Move On After Being Hurt By Someone You Love (Without Losing Them)
Taking these steps can help you salvage the relationships while also protecting your heart.
getty It’s a tough pill to swallow when someone you love hurts you. Whether a significant other, family member or friend, you lose a little trust in whoever causes you pain.
Sometimes it takes a few hours to get over it, other times figuring out how to move on takes a few days. Regardless of it being an intentional attempt to hurt you or not, it may take a while for things to go back to normal.
And even then, do they really ever go back to normal? Or are there cases where you have to remove that person from your life?
If you’re like me and find it hard to forgive, being hurt by someone is a recipe for disaster. It could lead to more fighting or an overabundance of thinking, questioning how important the relationship is to begin with.
Neither situation is good. And it’s inevitable that there will be times in which you have to put your ego aside and accept that people make mistakes. After all, that’s what makes us human.
Being hurt by your partner can be a hard thing to overcome. They’re supposed to love you at your best and worst. They should make you cry happy tears, not sad ones.
So your partner messed up and now you have to figure out how to move on, with or without them. It’s not an easy decision and there might be a lot of factors to consider.
It’s important to remember times when you may have hurt them or others. Think about if you were forgiven and how that must have been difficult for the person you hurt.
Assuming the circumstance you’re dealing with is something you can work through, there’s power in effectively coping with the pain. When we ignore issues that bother us, they can build up and be harder to tackle.
You should always handle situations as they arise. By communicating your feelings with your partner, they can better grasp how to approach certain conversations with you so that this problem doesn’t get repeated.
The more in-control you both feel, the less likely you are to hurt each other. The most significant part of coping with being hurt is working to keep it from happening again.
You and your partner should be mindful of what the other does and doesn’t need. But for now, here are 5 ways to cope with being hurt by the one you love.
1. Be open-minded.
Sometimes when we’re in an argument with our significant other, it can be easy to overlook what they’re trying to say. We can be quick to defend ourselves and only see our perspective. But that doesn’t allow for healthy solutions.
Your partner probably wouldn’t have said a hurtful thing if they didn’t believe it to be true to some degree. Open up your mind to the possibility that they’re trying to reveal a truth to you.
When you’re able to recognize where they’re coming from, it won’t feel so much like an attack on your character. You can be more understanding of why they said what they said, even if it was a mistake on their part.
2. Take time to deal with your thoughts and emotions.
Instead of saying something you might regret, try to take a step back and sort out what just happened. There’s nothing wrong with telling your partner that you need some space to think. The last thing you want is to make the situation worse by going off the rails in anger.
Maybe do some journaling or go for a walk — anything that will give you the freedom to deal with your emotions in peace.
Examine why what he said or did hurt you so much and figure out how to move forward. Allow yourself to be sad and upset, but don’t let it consume you.
3. Understand that people make mistakes.
It’s easy to think that the ones we love are capable of doing everything right all the time but this is far from the truth. If you make mistakes, it’s safe to say that your partner will too. And that’s okay.
When people let negative emotions get the best of them, they might not be thinking clearly. This causes them to say things they might not have otherwise.
It shows a lot of courage to forgive someone after they’ve hurt you. But sometimes, it’s what’s best for you. There’s no point in holding onto resentment. Understand that your partner is human and you’d hope they would forgive you if the roles were reversed.
4. Have a sincere conversation.
Once you’ve cooled off and been able to get a bird’s eye view of the situation, it’s necessary to have a conversation with your partner. Although there’s nothing worse than starting up an uncomfortable discussion, it’s necessary for you to get over this obstacle.
Explain to your partner how they hurt you and what it has done to you. Have you been struggling with low self-esteem? Did you lose trust in them? Be honest and blunt about whatever it is you’re feeling.
Now, go back and forth and talk through ways to, not only deal with the issues at hand but also how you can both work to prevent it from happening again.
5. Remember that you are a team.
If you’re truly going to overcome a challenge within your relationship, you need to work together. It shouldn’t be a one-sided effort.
By proving to one another that you place the same value on the relationship, it becomes simpler to move on from being hurt. Cultivate love and compassion for your partner and they will do the same.
Your partner can’t always give you their best but it helps to know that they’re trying just as you are. Understand that no one is perfect and wake up every day knowing that he’s working right alongside you.
Isabella Pacinelli is a writer who covers love, relationships, sex, self-care, body confidence, women’s health, college, and entertainment topics.