How To Get Over Being Ghosted? 10 Things To Do When You're Heartbroken
They missed out, plain and simple.
Getty Being ghosted is probably the last things that you would want to happen to you when you're trying to start a new relationship or date someone new, but sometimes, it does happen. In the exact moment when you realize that the person that you have been talking to has ghosted you, you might not know what to do, but I'm here to help with that.
When in doubt about what to do next, try some of the suggestions below to help you know how to get over being ghosted (so you can find someone better to talk to).
1. First, talk to your friends about it (they will help you stick with your decisions down the road).
Chances are, your friends have been there, done that, so they can sympathize with you. Your friends might be able to offer you some valuable advice that you wouldn't have thought of on your own, so it's worth consoling with them to see what they have to say.
Your friends should be your biggest supporters at all times, and when you're going through a rough patch, it's critical to see who's around for you when you need them most.
If you don't have a network of people that support you in times like this, though, then it's presumably a good time to make some new friends.
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2. Allow yourself to cry and feel frustrated.
Being ghosted sucks — no doubt about it. There's no need to pretend it didn't happen, either. Maybe you really liked this person, or you thought things were actually going somewhere and it made you hopeful — if that's the case, then allow yourself to feel sad.
If you have to cry, then cry. It's better to let your emotions out now than to bottle them all up and freak out about them later. Crying's never fun, but it can be cathartic. So instead of being cold to everyone and bottling up your feelings, let yourself feel everything you're going through and let it all out.
You have feelings, too, regardless or not of if you want to acknowledge them, but they're going to let loose sometime, and you might not be ready for it.
3. Distance yourself from dating apps for a while.
Yeah, you might want to start talking to someone new right away, but now's not the time to do that. To be honest, you're probably still not over the last person that you were talking to — so take the time to step away from the dating apps for a bit and let yourself breathe and be an actual person for a while.
You don't always need to be talking to someone in a romantic sense, and if you can't stand being single, then you have some deeper issues that you need to work out with yourself first. It's OK to be single. Lots of people are single and it's not the end of the world to not have a partner at this very moment. You do you for a while.
Sure, you might feel the urge to find a rebound, but it's best that you just keep to yourself and find what makes you happy without adding another person into the mix.
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4. Get out of the house and socialize with real-life people.
Going out with friends is always a better alternative to texting them. Sometimes, it's better to talk things out in person. Besides, if you're feeling miserable, you could always order one too many drinks and then blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol (that'll probably make things worse, so nevermind on that).
Human interaction is crucial for all of us, and there's no denying that. It's one thing to text your friend about the person that ghosted you, but it's a whole other ballpark to be able to see their body language and their facial expressions. Those two things usually don't lie regarding how someone feels about the entire situation.
So go out and visit some actual people. You'll be surprised how good you feel so quickly.
5. Use this as an opportunity to do something you've been wanting to do.
Yeah yeah yeah, you're probably telling yourself that you don't have time for a hobby. Truth bomb; if you have five hours a day to binge-watch your favorite shows on Netflix while texting people you've never actually met on a dating app, then you probably have the time to go learn a new language, take a free online class, or do what you've been saying you want to do.
There's almost always something to do besides be lazy (although that is fun, too), but you'll feel so much better about yourself if you do something productive as opposed to just sitting around. Besides, you might even like what you're pursuing, and you would've never known that you like it until you got involved with it.
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6. Take a walk to clear your head.
Taking a walk will help to clear your mind and will improve your mood overall, so you might want to consider doing that if you're feeling down on yourself. Plus, you don't have to socialize with anyone if you don't want to.
It doesn't matter if you go for a walk around the block or to get food, nobody's asking you to walk a marathon. A short walk is better than no walk at all, and there's a high chance that you'll almost always feel better about yourself afterward, plus you'll be able to gather your thoughts so you can make the best decision about how you'd like to move forward.
7. Work out your frustrations at the gym.
When you work out, you release something called endorphins, which help to improve your mood. You'll also be letting out your stress (which you probably have a lot of, considering you've been ghosted), so try doing something intense like boxing or running to get out your frustrations in a positive way.
You don't have to be dripping sweat when you're at the gym (if you even sweat at all). I know that I barely sweat, but my legs do hurt after a proper leg workout, just like my arms hurt after a decent arm workout. A 20-minute workout is better than no workout at all, so don't pressure yourself to go hard, just aim to do something that will get your mind off your phone for a while.
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8. Focus on yourself.
Right now's not the time to be pursuing anyone else — especially if you're feeling heartbroken from being ghosted by someone you thought you might have a future with.
You just finished talking to one person, and you're probably not over them, so don't stress about finding someone else to talk to because you're lonely. That's why you have friends.
Work on yourself and the right person will follow. The right person will want you for you anyway, and there's always room for improvement. Sometimes, you need to show up for yourself. Nobody's going to be able to change the course of your life except for yourself. Even when it feels like the odds are against you, you need to be there for yourself and believe in yourself.
9. Make a vision board to help you see where you're going.
Thinking about where you see yourself in a few years is a good way to get a grasp as to what you want to be doing, what you should be doing that you aren't doing already, and figuring out your next steps. A great way to do this is by making a vision board to help you focus all of your ideas, goals and dreams in one place (that you can look at often).
You might hate your current job, or you might want to be like me and go to grad school; figuring out the bigger picture will help with figuring out the smaller details that make up that bigger picture, so don't stress out if you don't have everything figured out now.
Focusing on your future and getting excited about tomorrow is a sure-fire way to get your mind off the guy who never texted you back.
10. Take things day by day.
Again, you're not going to have everything figured out now, so taking things day by day will allow you to process things as they happen. You might get some unexpected good news that'll boost your mood, and that's great, and you should allow yourself to process it before moving on.
You're not able to predict the future, and even though you might have thoughts as to how things might turn out, things could take a turn and end up completely different from how you thought that they were going to turn out. So take it easy on yourself and enjoy each day individually.
Liz Abere is a writer that talks about food, love, and mental health.