4 Steps To Surviving A Breakup During Quarantine
Heartbreak and social distancing is a terrible combo.
getty Breakups are excruciating. You put so much of yourself into a relationship, you’ve built a partnership together and you have a vision for your future. Then, either slowly or all of a sudden, it all starts to unravel, and life as you knew it is no more.
You’re left feeling lost, like your life has been flip upside-down, or as if you’ve taken ten steps back. And during a worldwide pandemic, it seems impossible to learn how to deal with a breakup in quarantine.
No matter which side of the breakup you’re on, navigating heartbreak is a complicated process in any circumstance. But you find a way to work through your emotions.
You have coffee with friends. You find distractions by going to work and throwing yourself into a new project. You go to yoga or a gym class to bring some positive thoughts into your life. You go out to clubs and bars, meet new people, embrace the single life, and, slowly, you move on.
But try stripping away all of these usual coping mechanisms and add a global pandemic into the mix.
You’re house-bound, away from your friends, and everything that could possibly provide a distraction is closed. Life is on pause right at the time when you need it to keep moving more than ever before.
The constraints of coronavirus have left most people feeling disconnected and confined, but if you’re experiencing heartbreak, these emotions are magnified to a painful degree. Looking at a future without your partner is difficult in any scenario, but, in the midst of this pandemic, it’s hard to imagine what a future looks like at all.
You have the extra fears about your health and economic concerns on top of the pain of a broken heart. You’re missing the support system you once found in your partner, and you can’t even replace it with friends. Sure, you can reach out to your besties on FaceTime and Zoom, but nothing heals like a good hug from a loved one.
You’re probably left alone with your thoughts for an unhealthy amount of time each day and find yourself becoming overwhelmed by them. But there is always hope.
Even with the shortage of traditional coping mechanisms, there are things you can do to focus on your well-being and begin healing your broken heart:
1. Recognize your pain without spiraling.
The main thing quarantine takes away from you during a breakup is distractions, and while these do help us cope with pain, they often prevent us from accepting our emotions.
Lean into your heartbreak and observe your feelings. Recognize what it means to be without a partner and how this affects your self-identity. Remember that you are your own person with or without a relationship; you have your own goals that can still be achieved in time.
It can be tempting to curl up in a blanket and sob until you can’t breathe, but this doesn’t actually get to the root of your issues.
Spend time with these emotions in a controlled setting, try taking time to meditate or journal. This will allow you to reflect without becoming overwhelmed.
2. Boost your mental health through physical wellness.
The moments of intense loneliness are unavoidable, but finding healthy ways to occupy your time allows you to work on yourself instead of surrendering to sadness.
Watching hours of rom-coms on Netflix in bed with a tub of ice cream seems tempting, but you’ll probably just end up missing your relationship even more. Having a few go-to healthy activities will help pass the time.
Try yoga or following a workout class to get positive endorphins flowing. Maintaining your fitness as a form of self-care is great for your mental wellness. Who is thinking of heartbreak while they bend into a downward dog?
3. Practice mindful distractions.
Since quarantine began, it seems like all we have in our days is time. And filling it can be particularly painful for someone who is recently single.
Though the temptation might be difficult to resist, avoid stalking your ex online at all costs. This can be hard if you’re suddenly finding yourself with a lot more time to scroll through Instagram or Facebook.
Dwelling on someone who is no longer part of your life will not allow you to move on and gets in the way of your chance to work on yourself. Besides, you already know they are doing the same thing as everyone else in the world, so there is nothing to gain from watching their social media story.
Instead, try reading or journaling. This gives the brain other things to focus on so you don’t find yourself spiraling into negative thoughts.
4. Embrace your clean slate.
Mourning a relationship is a necessary part of the healing process. But so is moving on!
You’ve been blessed with a chance to remove all the negativity from your life and shape a new future for yourself. Going through a breakup during this unique time means you get space and distance from your ex, without fear of running into them at a mutual friend’s party or in your local cafe.
Your friends are more available for video calls and long conversations than ever. Even though the isolating effect of quarantine can make these connections seem lacking, you can still surround yourself with love from afar.
You get to heal and re-enter society at a time where millions of people will be starting over and trying to figure out their futures. This situation puts things into perspective.
You’re living through a global pandemic so, surely, you can survive a breakup.
Alice Kelly is a writer with a passion for lifestyle, entertainment, and trending topics.