4 Ways To Build Self-Worth When You're Dating An Older Man
Self-worth, not net worth.
getty You love someone for who they are, not what they have. That's why you should be with someone for the right reasons. No one deserves to be played or used. Because, just like you, he's a person.
You shouldn’t love someone for their bank account or what they can do for you. Ask yourself would you be with him if he wasn’t successful or if he was younger. If you answer can truthfully answer yes, it’s genuine.
And when dating an older man, especially, you must make sure your motives are honest and pure.
In the grander scheme of things, his age, money, and success mean nothing. These things are everchanging. He could stop being successful tomorrow and his age could bring unforeseen complications in the future. But real love and connection is forever... if you’re willing to put the work in.
But another thing to be aware of is your own self-worth.
If you both both feel worthy of one another, you are! Who’s to say you aren't in someone’s league or not good enough for them? We’re good enough for whoever we think. When it comes to dating or relationships, it’s about what the two of you think, not anyone else, because it doesn't matter what they say.
Obviously, if he’s in a relationship with you, he thinks you're good enough for him. Men don’t just commit to women they don’t think are worth it. Don’t ever sell yourself short. You may not be as successful as him, but you have other great qualities that make you just as amazing.
Sometimes it’s hard to feel like enough when you're with some who's doing better financially. But remember your worth in those moments when you feel doubtful and inadequate. You are enough.
Still, if you have your doubts, here are a few ways to make sure you have success in your relationship, while maintaining a positive self-image.
1. Love yourself.
Self-love is the best love. Self-love isn’t dependent on others; it comes from within you. No one will be able to love you the way you deserve until you first love yourself.
Loving yourself is what allows you to accept and love others. You can’t constantly give love to others and not yourself. Eventually, that will cause your cup to run dry, leaving you to operate from a deficit.
When you are your own source of love, you will better understand your worth and value. You will begin to see that you're more than enough to be loved by any man, regardless of status. The love you have for yourself affirms you're worthy of being loved by a man.
2. Know your worth.
You must acknowledge your self-worth, because your worth doesn't come from your achievements, salary, or relationship status. Those things don't equate to self-worth, because it changes with success and failure. True self-worth is constant and doesn't change based on circumstance.
The worth you have for yourself comes from within. It has nothing to do with what you have done, but who you are. Don’t mistake self-worth for entitlement or arrogance. It's simply knowing your value.
Your partner's status shouldn’t make you feel unworthy, even if he makes more than you or is older than you. You're worth it regardless. Why wouldn’t you be worthy of a fancy date anyway?
3. Accept yourself.
We all have shortcomings. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect all the time in any aspect of your life, especially not in relationships. You’ll never be the perfect girlfriend because she doesn’t exist. You’ll never be perfect, so stop having these unrealistic expectations.
It’s about progression, not perfection. For you to be able to understand that, you must accept yourself. Self-acceptance is the key to seeing your worth, and accepting your flaws. Those very flaws and inadequacies are what make you uniquely you.
Accept that you aren’t as successful or old as your partner. Accept that people will have negative opinions about your relationship. But don’t allow the differences and negativity make you feel unworthy of being with him.
4. Embrace your differences.
It would be naive not to acknowledge your partner’s age and success. These factors do affect the dynamic of the relationship concerning where and when you both go on dates. Instead of feeling inadequate because of your differences, accept them.
Your differences keep the relationship interesting. You have a new and refreshing point of view to offer him, one that his friends and women of his status can’t. Don’t shy away from sharing your perspective or him taking to places you love.
You don’t have to transform into what you think his ideal girl should be. Instead, be yourself. If that’s not good enough for him, maybe he’s the one who’s unworthy of you.
Tamara Sanon is a writer with a passion for covering topics about health and wellness, lifestyle, astrology, and relationships.