Why Taking Things Slow In A New Relationship Makes You A Stronger Couple
Time tells all.
getty When we get into a new relationship, sometimes we’re anxious to pass the milestones of our previous relationship in what seems to be lightning speed. It would be great to start where you left off with your ex, but you can’t do that because your new partner is not your ex.
Different relationships have different time tables and we have to pace ourselves. And dating, which is a whole other ball game, can be nerve-wracking. You never know what to expect, because everyone you get involved with is different.
Your best bet to staying strong as a couple is to learn how to take things slow in a new relationship. It's easier said than done, but in the long run, you'll thank yourself.
It’s not uncommon to see a guy investing so much early on and getting swept away. A man investing in you is to be expected in the beginning since that’s the honeymoon phase. He knows he has to put in the effort to improve his chances of getting with you.
When you’re looking at what a guy is doing for you, think about the consistency of his investment over time. The bigger the time investment, the more serious he is about you.
To make things even more complicated, couple will get engaged after six months and have a long-lasting marriage. Other couples, on the other hand, have been together for six years or more, and get divorced after less than one year of marriage.
Taking things slowly in a relationship doesn’t guarantee success, but it’s wisest to air on the side of caution, especially with everything is so new.
There isn’t a one size fits all when it comes to the pacing of a relationship, but going slow allows you to know what you’re getting yourself into.
When it comes to turning casual dates into a serious commitment, there's also no fool-proof manual. This makes it hard to know when you’re moving too fast or at the right pace.
The best way to know if a relationship is going too fast is to be aware of your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable doing certain things or with the pacing of the relationship, no matter how insignificant it may seem to your partner, you aren’t ready. If you feel rushed, that’s another sign to take things slow.
Typically, long-lasting relationships aren’t a sprint — they’re a marathon. It takes time to build a strong bond and get to know each other. Relationships should naturally progress, meaning that both partners are on the same page and nothing feels forced. The progression isn’t natural if you're struggling to meet the expectations of your partner. Expectations aren’t always physical, either.
What are the benefits of taking things slow in a relationship? We're glad you asked.
1. Physical attraction won’t be the only thing you have in common.
Often, when people rush into relationships, it’s based on physical attraction and sexual chemistry. At first, it may seem fun and exciting, but the longer you stay with the person, you realize you aren’t compatible or able to compromise at all.
The lack of emotional compatibility and compromise will ultimately result in the demise of the relationship. However, when you take things slow in a relationship, you’re able to see whether or not the connection surpasses the physical attraction.
Early on in a relationship, it can be hard to tell the difference between love and lust because they seem so similar. Slowing down and using that time to focus on the commonalities, and learning how to compromise, allow the relationship to have more depth.
2. You’ll be able to build a genuine connection.
When the physical aspects of a relationship aren’t the top priority, it allows a couple to build a connection based on emotions. Emotional connection is what makes you want to stay in the relationship long-term. Anyone can be a great kisser, but not everyone understands you and your little quirks.
The only way you get to build a connection is through having conversations. Not just small talk, but conversations that are vulnerable and uncomfortable.
These are the conversations that foster true connection because they aren’t surface level. Connection requires depth, and to have those deep conversations, you need time to build trust within the relationship.
3. Red flags are obvious.
The longer you stay with someone, the more you notice their negative traits. It’s safe to say that we all have a few flaws, but that doesn’t mean we’ll never be able to have healthy relationships. It’ll just take a little work.
When you take things slowly, you get to decide whether you're willing to accept those negative traits. If you aren’t, you can leave the relationship fairly unscathed. If the relationship is worth it, it gives you both an opportunity to work on yourselves before things get more serious.
Tamara Sanon is a writer with a passion for covering topics about health and wellness, lifestyle, astrology, and relationships.