Thank You, Next? 5 Things To Say "Thank You" For To Your Ex Before Starting A New Relationship
Don't worry, you don't have to do it in person.
Unsplash I know what you must be thinking — why would I ever thank someone who broke my heart? Why should I say "Thank you" to someone I broke up with or wasn't interested in anymore?
There are actually many benefits to thanking someone you would probably rather not see. Whether or not you actually say it to your ex in person or metaphorically think it shouldn’t matter anyway.
Being grateful can be a means of freedom, giving you the power to move on from the relationships you are still pondering about to this day.
It also can be a tool of reflection, to look back on your previous relationships and take something positive from the experience. You may think that your previous relationships aren’t worth thinking about again. However, it may surprise you how all of them are why you are the person you are. They are, without knowing it, helping you in making choices on who your next partner will be. The new or long-lasting relationship you are possibly in could be the very result of your previous relationships like mine.
I had been single, between relationships and at the same time my ex and a new guy popped into my life. I decided to take a risk and not just settle with an 'okay' relationship that had underlying, deep-seated issues. Looking back, I’m grateful to my ex for making the mistakes he did. I would be without the relationship I still have today if I hadn't been faced with that decision. I also have to thank him for giving me the confidence (indirectly) to make that leap of faith.
These types of situations are exactly why we should be thankful. While this specific situation was more obvious. You shouldn’t take the smaller things that happen for granted.
First loves are a good example. While they happened a long time ago, can still leave an impression. Mine was my first boyfriend. Unknown to him, I had very low self-esteem. I remember I used to have endless conversations with my best friend about how I was never going to be in a relationship, never going to have a boyfriend. At the time, most people my age had been in multiple relationships.
So, what did I feel when the boy I had been pining over for multiple years finally asked me to be his girlfriend? Thankful. However, the thankful that I felt back then was more relief than anything substantial.
Today, I realize that one question he asked is something that I'm grateful for. He made me feel desirable and gave me hope. Not just in finding relationships, but hope in improving my self-esteem, self-confidence and how I looked at myself.
Can you see how something so small as a question, can be life-changing when you think back on it? How even if you hated every part of a relationship, that you can find reasons that made who you are today? This is why you should be thankful for your exes, whether big or small the reason.
1. Thank them for caring for you.
Being in a relationship takes two people, kind of like tango. You may have to take a step back and realize that your ex is a person too. They have feelings, emotions and make mistakes as much as the next person. Whether the relationship bad or good, you should take comfort in the fact that at some point (in some capacity) they cared about you.
2. Be grateful that they made you realize all the support that surrounds you.
Nothing is more of an eye-opener after a breakup than who is willing to comfort you. They give advice, dry your tears and just make you feel like you aren’t alone in the world. You really do appreciate them more when they are there to pick you up after you fall.
3. Thanks for all the relationship experience.
Put another notch in your belt, now you are more prepared for your next relationship. You have made mistakes and (hopefully) learned from them. Your knowledge of what you seek in a partner has been updated and refined countless times over.
4. You’re going to be thankful for everything your exes taught you.
Skills like how to communicate better and how to listen attentively. Or you figure how not to handle a confrontation. You are better for it because you learned essential skills to not only handle a romantic relationship but other people in life.
5. Thank you for the memories.
Memories are pieces of what makes up your life. You created them together with this person. They should be cherished and reflected upon, because down the road you will look back at them differently then you did the past, how you are now, and how you will in the distant future.
Sydney Davis is a writer who covers love, astrology and relationship topics.