19 Sexy Dares To Cross Off Your Bucket List ASAP
Some are scarier than others, but all of these could up your game.
Taylor Harding on Unsplash Even if you’re already in a relationship, it’s always a good time to try checking items off your sex bucket list.
Whether you’re looking to level-up your exhibitionist, sex toy, travel, or even hygienic game, there’s a little something for everyone looking for sexy, kinky new things to try on this list.
Go ahead, I dare you to complete this mission.
Here are 19 sexy dares and ideas for new things to try in (or out) of the bedroom.
1. Ask out your crush with a handwritten note
I asked out a crush with a handwritten note recently, and though I didn't even know him at the time, we're still dating.
Write a sincere note and pass it to someone, middle school style. The effect is so endearing they'll be flattered even if they aren't interested.
If you do get rejected, don't worry — you'll feel alive and empowered just from being brave.
2. Get a massage from someone sexy
Remember that person I asked out with a note? He was a hot masseuse I saw in the waiting room before I'd booked a massage with someone else.
Clearly, I think massage is sexy as hell — and I’m not talking the happy ending kind. It’s just delicious to be touched by a professional.
If trying to date a masseuse yourself sounds a little too ambitious, you can always just request your massage be from the gender you prefer romantically (if you have a preference), and let your imagination do the rest.
The experience of getting a professional massage is sexy and safe, and you can go take that energy home to a partner or a loving session with yourself.
3. Make special business cards to ask strangers out
A variation on asking someone out with a note, another idea is to get special business cards printed that you can hand to any subway/park/gym/bar stranger crush, with a message like: "Hey, I didn't just meet you, and I'm not crazy, but here's my number [or Instagram handle] so call me maybe."
Swiftly walk away after you hand it to them in case your approach is unwanted, leaving the next move in their court.
4. Try a secret wearable vibrator In public
Wearable vibrators are definitely worth checking off your to-come list.
If you like the idea of wearing or controlling something that's entirely interior, try LELO's Lyla 2.
LELO Lyla 2: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
If you're more an external clitoral stimulation kinda person, try We-Vibe's Moxie in your underwear, which can be controlled by a partner with a remote or even through an app, which is especially great for LDRs.
We-Vibe Moxie: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
Going out for a picnic has never been this hot.
5. Have sex (in a hotel) on the beach
Having sex on the beach is a common fantasy, but often overrated. The sand gets everywhere, and you might be too nervous about getting caught to relax.
Instead, consider the not-illegal option: booking yourself a hotel room with a truly oceanfront room and leaving the windows wide open.
I recently did this at the beautiful Solé Miami Resort, where I had a room that felt pretty much like being intimate neighbors with the ocean.
I got the same exhibitionist/wave sound thrills ... minus the risk of getting arrested. I highly recommend it.
6. Up your knowledge on technique and desire
If you have an e-reader, no one has to know what you're studying up on at the beach.
My favorite sex guide is Girl Sex 101, which combines some erotica with the best techniques for pleasuring all kinds of bodies I've seen. (Though its aimed at non-hetero couples, I’ve also passed this book on to several male partners, and let them pick up some new tricks. They've all thanked me profusely and promptly upped their game.)
Girl Sex 101: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
I also thoroughly enjoyed Untrue, which entertainingly breaks down much of the latest research on female sexuality, debunking myths about how desire works faster than you can say "ovulation." Useful information for all genders.
Untrue: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
7. Do private things in a private(ish) hammock
If you get a hammock like this one that has a mosquito net, not only will you be protected from bites, but you'll also have more privacy.
Grand Trunk Skeeter Beeter Mosquito Net Hammock: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
Nothing like circling third base in nature to turn on us crunchy exhibitionists.
8. Flip your normal dynamic
If you're having sex with someone and they usually take control, suggest a session where you switch places. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but you'll learn a lot from flipping your dynamic, even if it's subtle.
If you're not sure how you could even play a game of imagining you're touching your partner just the way you'd like them to touch you — they'll learn some new things for the future, too.
9. Live out your Sex and The City-esque fantasy
If you can swing it, treat yourself to a vacation and stay somewhere almost too hip to handle — the people watching and potential pickup is unlike any other place.
I recently did this at The Wythe in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and I can attest everything about the place was oozing maximum sexual force.
Pack your coolest clothes, strut down the sidewalk, and if you're single and fabulous, extra points for flirting with someone new on a rooftop bar overlooking the Manhattan skyline.
10. Get yourself some nicer sex sheets
Ever since I started using these more luxurious sheets from Mellanni, I swear I enjoy sex (and sleep) more. It makes every day feel like a vacation, and it's one of those little changes that make a real difference.
Having a spare set of sheets is also key for keeping it sexy — change them after you sweat and sex them up for better, cooler sleep.
Mellanni Bed Sheets: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
Also, always change them between partners.
11. Visit a nude resort or beach
I love nude resorts and beaches — few things help you accept your own body like being around so many naked people.
If you want to keep it a little less risque, Temptation is a topless-optional resort in Cancun that has a party atmosphere.
And if you want to take your adventure even further, check out clothing-optional lifestyle resorts like Desire Resort Riviera Maya and Hedonism II in Jamaica.
12. Up your sex hygiene game
Make it a priority to always wash your toys with a cleaner (like We-Vibe Clean), soap, and water after each use — and always pee after sex.
Some other higher-level hygiene tips:
- Switch to non-latex condoms even if you don't think you're allergic (I use these by SKYN, no dead lambskin in my vag, thanks) and see the difference in irritation.
- Use lube with natural ingredients you could eat, because that's basically what you're doing.
- Travel with apple cider vinegar pills (helps maintain pH and your immune system) and D-Mannose powder (prevents UTIs).
13. See who can hold out longer
Another fun game with a partner is to have a teasing competition or to see who can hold out on penetration (or whatever decide your main event is) longer.
Each person does their best to make the other person lose their focus or give in, which can be especially fun while 69ing.
14. Get off in the water
If you're truly adventurous and have the chance, try a jacuzzi jet stream and send me the thank you note later.
If you're more an at-home kinda person, try a waterproof sex toy in the shower or bath.
15. Commit to your kegels
Put some excess energy towards strengthening your pelvic floor. I use either Je Joue Kegel weights or a vibrating toy like LELO Hula Beads.
Je Joue Ami 3 Step Kegel Set: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
LELO Hula Beads: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
Masturbation and sex are also going to work your Kegels if you're turned on, so consider any time tensing and releasing well-spent.
16. Have some silent sex
Have you ever had totally silent sex? It's very intimate and helps you focus on your breath and to stop performing as much.
You can even make it a game: the first one to make a peep beyond a breath loses.
17. Try a truly unusual new toy
There are so many unusual toys worth trying out there — from pulsating vibrators that actually thrust in you, to labia spreaders for better oral access, to nipple suckers to a full on Motorbunny vibrating sex saddle.
Fun Factory Stronic Real: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
Frisky Oral Enhancing Hands-Free Labia Spreader: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
YiFeng 3pcs Nipple Cupping Suckers: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
Motorbunny Sex Saddle Starter Kit: Check prices and reviews on Amazon
Do some hunting online, and order one that seems truly fun and new to you.
18. Have sex the neighbors might see too — with a view
I think everyone who can swing it should have sex to the backdrop of a New York City skyline.
If you want to pretend you live in a swanky apartment, I can recommend the timeshare apartment/hotel hybrid Wyndham 45 in Midtown, which I found to be the perfect place to pull up a chair and straddle someone as the entire city’s backdrop watches.
If you’d like to take things even further, I also enjoyed some truly exhibitionist sex at Yotel New York, where the neighbors sitting on their patio in the apartment across from our room had the very real potential to see us — without being close enough that it felt overly creepy.
19. Do it with yourself and/or someone else in front of the mirror
Mirror sex is where it's at. You'll see all kinds of hot angles you haven't before, and that goes for masturbation, too.
If you haven't done it in front of the mirror because you're worried you might not like how you look, all the more reason to try it and hopefully see how much you end up turning yourself on.
Rachel Krantz is a writer currently working on her forthcoming book, Anything But Monogamy. She is the namer of Bustle (and one of its three founding editors), as well as host of the Bustle podcast Honestly Though, a show about taboo topics recommended by The Guardian. Her work has been featured on VOX, The Guardian, The Huffington Post, NPR, The Daily Beast, Newsweek, High Times, AFAR, Vice, USA Today, Salon, Marie Claire, VegNews Magazine, and many outlets elsewhere. Find her on Twitter for more.
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