6 Critical Things To Keep In Mind When Planning Your Wedding Reception (Including The Order Of Events)
Get in as much as you can.
When planning a wedding, there’s a lot of details to consider: where the wedding reception will be, the food and drinks, what to wear, the order of events, the ceremony, and how long everything will last. Of course, as each couple and wedding is unique, the wedding reception timeline and length will vary.
But there are certain boundaries to keep in mind. According to Kylie Carlson of the International Academy of Wedding & Event Planning, “Every wedding is different, but typically we see the average wedding reception lasting anywhere from 3-4 hours. This gives the couple and guests alike plenty of time to celebrate and mingle, including time for dinner, entertainment, and any activities planned."
But since the idea of a perfect wedding really depends on the couple and the venue they choose, here are a few things to keep in mind when planning the evening.
1. Head count
Says Carlson, “A factor that not many realize will impact the length of their reception is the actual headcount of those attending. This will vary depending on who shows up versus what the original guest list accounted for, but it’s important that you plan your timeline with enough of a cushion to allow guests to go from the ceremony to the reception venue space, making sure everyone is fed, time for toasts, dancing, and so on.”
2. Budget
Budget is another factor to consider. “If you have a 4-hour reception, for example, plus a cocktail hour, you have used the standard bar package most venues provide,” says Laura Maddox, owner of Magnolia Celebrates.
Adding that additional hour to the reception will mean paying for more bar time and perhaps more time for staff in all areas of the wedding. However, you may prefer this if you are having a seated/plated dinner, as this time of service generally takes about an hour.
3. Contracts
Most bands will have a maximum play time for your contract. So, says Jacqueline HIll of Jacqueline Events, “If you don’t want to continue without them, you will need to end at their contracted period.”
4. Venue
“In addition, some venues have policies on how long events may last in order to lower their liability when it comes to alcohol,” Hill adds. Remember: the longer the reception, the higher the cost. You are paying for additional staff hours, and if it isn’t in the budget, end it earlier.
5. Type of reception
“The type of service style you are having for your meal and the number of guests you have will impact the amount of time you need,” advises Oleta Collins of Flourishing Art Design Studio.
For instance, a buffet service will require a shorter amount of time than a full seated dinner or family-style service.
6. Time frame
“Minimally, I would expect to plan your reception for at least three hours,” Carlson suggests. Anything less would feel a bit rushed, especially for you and your guests who would like time to decompress and enjoy themselves after an emotional day. It’s also important to make sure that your out-of-town guests have more than enough time to have fun with you and your new spouse.
After about four hours, everything will start winding down and guests will most likely be ready to leave.
“Just take into consideration that some guests may have travelled a long time to be with you on your big day, so while you want to ensure that they have a great time, understand that they’ll probably be exhausted as well,” Carlson adds. You’ll also want some time left in the night to celebrate with your new spouse.
Still a bit confused? Here are some sample orders to put things in a framework, courtesy of Mango Muse Events.
1. Catholic ceremony
3:00 PM: Ceremony starts
Family Processional: "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring" (Bach)
Order: Primary sponsors, Secondary sponsors, Grandma, Uncle, Groom, Dad
Wedding Party Processional: "Canon" (Pachelbel)
Order: Wedding party in pairs, coin bearer/mom, ring bearer/mom or dad, flower girls/adults
Bridal Processional: Bride with parents, "The Prince of Denmark's March"
Welcome, readings, songs, homily vows, rings, unity candle, coin/veil/cord, communion, blessing, kiss, pronouncement
Recessional: "Hornpipe Water Music" (Handel)
4:10 PM: Family photos
4:30 PM: Cocktail hour starts at Bently — bar, apps, music
Guests start to arrive at Bently
Guest shuttle leaves church for Bently
4:45 PM: Wedding party shuttle transport to Ferry Building for photos
Clean up of chapel, out by 4:45 PM
5:00 PM: Wedding party/couple photos at Ferry Building
5:30 PM: Photobooth arrives to setup at Bently
6:00 PM: Wedding party shuttle transport to Bently
Curtains open and allow guests to find seats
6:15 PM: Wedding party arrival to Bently
6:30 PM: Emcee Welcome
6:35 PM: Intros, parents: "Hello Goodbye" by the Beatles
6:40 PM: Intros, wedding party: "1 Thing" by Amerie)
6:45 PM: Intros, couple: "Open Your Eyes" by Bobby Caldwell
6:50 PM: First dance (slow to fast dance), "The Light" by Common & "Ignition" by R. Kelly
6:55 PM: Dinner starts, first course
Downstairs bar opens
7:00 PM: Photobooth starts
7:05 PM: Toast, maid of honor
7:10 PM: Toast, best man
7:15 PM: Toast, maid of honor
7:30 PM: Second course served
Vendors eat
8:15 PM: Cake cutting, "Little Bit" by Drake & Lykke Li
8:20 PM: Toast, bride's parents
8:25 PM: Toast, groom's dad
8:30 PM: Bride and groom thank yous
8:35 PM: Bouquet toss, "Senorita" by Justin Timberlake
Dessert/coffee station opens
8:40 PM: Garter toss, "Pony" by Ginuwine
8:45 PM: Open dancing starts
9:30 PM: Photographer done
10:00 PM: Late night bites served
10:45 PM: Last call
10:55 PM: Last song, "It Was a Good Day" by Ice Cube
11:00 PM: Event completed
Strike event — lighting, music, florals, photobooth
12:00 AM: Rentals arrive to breakdown
3:00 AM: Vendors out the door
2. Hindu ceremony
5:00 PM: Ceremony starts
Priest walks out with bride’s parents
Groom, mom and brother walk to out to meet Priest and bride’s parents
Welcome and red powder (after welcome, bride’s parents walk back to bride) and Invocation
Processional: "Wonderful Tonight"
Order: Maid of honor, flower girls
Bridal Processional with Parents: "What a Wonderful World" on acoustic guitar by Michael Marc
Hindu ceremony: Jai Mala exchange, Sacred Fire, Joining of hands, Scarve knotting, Circling the Fire, 7 steps and vows, Matrimony necklace and red powder, Feeding sweets, Blessings, Declaration and prayer
Recessional: "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" by Stevie Wonder
5:30 PM: Photobooth arrives to setup
6:00 PM: Usher guests to cocktail hour and turn over ceremony space for dinner
Photos of family by big tree in front
Cocktail hour starts, passed apps and open bar
Bartender starts
Ceremony rentals breakdown and pick up items
Photobooth opens
6:45 PM: Attire change for bride and groom
7:00 PM: Emcee welcome
7:05 PM: Intro of couple, "So Good" by B.O.B.
7:10 PM: Dinner starts (family style)
7:25 PM: Toast, maid of honor
7:30 PM: Toast, best man and mother
7:35 PM: Toast, father of the bride
7:40 PM: Vendors eat
8:00 PM: Music inside gallery only
8:05 PM: Possible couple photos in second outfits
8:15 PM: Cake cutting, "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra
8:20 PM: Bride and groom thank yous
8:25 PM: First dance, "Dancing Cheek to Cheek"
8:30 PM: Mr. and Mrs. Wang dance, Tango song (special cut)
8:35 PM: Emcee final words
8:40 PM: Open dancing
9:00 PM: Photos of friends
10:55 PM: Last song
Alcohol service stops
11:00 PM: Event completed, music stops
Bartender, photographer, photobooth done
Strike event — music, décor, flowers, rentals
Rentals picked up
12:00 AM: Vendors out the door
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3. Semi-jewish wedding (not officiated by a Rabbi or taking place in a Synagogue)
4:30 PM: Ceremony starts
Officiant and groom walk in from side with Groomsmen
Wedding Party and Family Processional: Pachelbel's "Canon"
Order: Groom's parents, bridesmaids, kids
Bridal Processional with parents: "Ode to Joy"
Welcome, ring warming, their love story, seven circles, vows, group affirmation, rings, "I dos," breaking the glass, pronouncement
Recessional: "Santa Cruz"
5:00 PM: Couple has 5 minutes of alone time in Owl cabin
Signing of marriage license
Cocktail hour starts — bar open, passed apps
Background cocktail music on
5:05 PM: Extended family photos
Videographer done
5:10 PM: Guitarist moves to cocktail area
5:20 PM: Additional couple photos
6:00 PM: Guests invited to dinner
Background dinner music on
Guitarist moves to dining area
6:15 PM: Guests seated
Family style salads dropped at tables
Water and wine dropped at tables
6:20 PM: Photobooth arrives to setup
6:30 PM: Welcome, bride's parents
Band arrives to setup
6:35 PM: Dinner starts, tables invited to buffet
7:00 PM: Vendors eat
7:15 PM: Champagne prepared
7:25 PM: Champagne and cotton candy served
7:30 PM: Toast, groom's parents
Guitarist done
Second group of vendors eat
7:35 PM: Toast, best man
7:40 PM: Toast, best friend
7:45 PM: Toast, maid of honor
7:50 PM: Bride and groom thank yous
Guests invited inside for dancing and dessert
7:55 PM: Band starts
8:00 PM: Hora, "Hava Nagila"
Photobooth starts
8:05 PM: Open dancing
8:30 PM: Shuttles standing by to transport back to hotel/church parking lot as needed
8:45 PM: Band break
9:00 PM: Band starts second set
Photographer done
9:55 PM: Last band song
10:00 PM: Band done
Photobooth done
Soft music starts playing
11:00 PM: Event over
Guests leave on last shuttles
Band and Photobooth loads and leaves
Strike event — florals, rentals, décor
12:00 AM: Vendors out the door
4. Jewish wedding (with Rabbi, but not in Synagogue)
5:30 PM: Ceremony starts
Rabbi walks into silence
Processional: "Prelude to the 1st Cello Suite" by Bach
Order: Groom and mom, groomsmen, bridesmaids.
Bridal Processional with parents: "Adagio from Piano Concerto No. 5 (Emperor)" by Beethoven
Seven circles (song continues), welcome blessing, kiddush/erusin blessing, shehechianu, ketubah reading, ring exchange, vows, seven blessings (groups come up), moment of silence, priestly blessing, breaking of the glass, kiss
Recessional: "My Neighbor Totoro"
5:30 PM: Downstairs gets flipped — rentals, catering, lighting
6:00 PM: Couple gets 5 minutes of alone time (in green room)
Guests invited downstairs, wedding party to lead the way
DJ music playing downstairs
Cocktail hour starts
Videographer done
6:05 PM: Couple photos
Upstairs gets flipped — rentals, music, catering, lighting
Quartet takes a break and gets driven around
6:20 PM: Quartet starts playing downstairs
DJ music downstairs stops
7:10 PM: Guests invited upstairs
Elderly to be driven around
Amuse bouche out
7:20 PM: Emcee Welcome
Downstairs gets flipped — rentals, catering, lighting
Quartet done
7:25 PM: Welcome, bride's parents
7:30 PM: Dinner starts, salads
Table photos
7:50 PM: Toast, best man
7:55 PM: Toast, maid of honor
8:10 PM: Entrées served
Vendors eat round 1
8:30 PM: Vendors eat round 2
8:45 PM: Yalies photo
Friend photos
9:00 PM: Bride and groom Thank yous
Dessert taco cart arrives to setup
Food truck arrives to setup
9:05 PM: Surprise song by friends in marching band
9:10 PM: Guests follow band downstairs
Dessert/tea lounge ready
9:15 PM: Band starts first set
9:20 PM: First Dance with everyone, "Rather Be" by Clean Bandits
Strike event in Terra — catering, DJ, rentals, lighting, floral
9:30 PM: Open dancing starts
Dessert taco cart starts
Food truck starts
10:00 PM: Band break
Any remaining friend photos
10:15 PM: Band starts second set of music with Hora, "Hava Nagila"
10:30 PM: Photographer done
Florist, rentals and lighting arrive to start breaking down upstairs
11:30 PM: Last call
Photobooth done
Dessert taco cart done
Food truck done
11:40 PM: Last song, "Bright College Years"
11:45 PM: Music stops, bar closes
12:00 PM: Event completed, all guests out the door
Food truck and taco cart depart
Strike event in Mer — rentals, lighting, band, florals, photobooth, catering
1:30 AM: Vendors out the door
Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyles writer who focuses on health, wellness, and relationships. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly. Visit her on Twitter or email her.