What You Should Know Before Dating A Christian Woman, According To The Bible
It certainly won't be easy.
ben white on unsplash There are two kinds of people in this world that can be pretty difficult to fall in love with: criminals and Christians. Weird combination right? I’m sure criminals being on that list makes perfect sense to you.
After all, they’re people who committed crimes. It seems like the only other person that could really understand why would be another criminal. But why Christians?
Christians aren’t bad people. They’re taught to be nice and to love everyone and they’re all about spreading God’s word.
That sounds like the perfect person to fall in love with. But the problem with falling for a Christian is while it might seem nice, it might actually be a lot of trouble.
I’m going to specifically talk about men falling for a Christian woman here.
If you happen to be a woman who’s fallen in love with a Christian woman, you’ve got a whole ‘nother battle ahead of you, so I’ll just stick to the men’s side. So what exactly is the problem here?
The idea of falling in love with a Christian woman is similar to when you think the popular girl likes you because she’s nice to you when she’s actually just nice to everyone. It’s not that you’re special to her, she’s just being herself.
The same principle applies to Christians as a whole and in this case, Christian women.
She’s just being nice because she’s supposed to be. That’s what the Bible teaches. Ever hear “love thy neighbor?” — Matthew 22:39
But of course, the heart wants what the heart wants, and I certainly won’t stop you from shooting your shot. But, before you fire away, there are a couple of things you need to know.
Specifically, three brutal truths about what it means to love a Christian woman.
1. You will never be the most important person in her life.
While in most relationships the two will always put each other first, in a Christian one it’s all about putting God first.
Quote: "You shall love Yahweh your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.” This means that no matter what you do, God will always be first in her heart. — Deuteronomy 6:5
Now before you try to get competitive with God, let me remind you that that’s not a bad thing. To her, putting God first is her salvation and carrying out her faith is what will get her into Heaven. That sounds pretty important, don’t you think? So instead of trying to be No. 1, how about just supporting her?
If you’re a Christian as well, you should be walking with her, but if you’re not a Christian, do your best to understand and to work with her instead of against her.
2. Sex is off the table.
If you’ve fallen in love with a Christian woman for her body, you’re going to be majorly disappointed. Sex is something that comes after marriage for Christians, so if you were just hoping for some action, you’re better off finding another girl. But if you’re dead-set on this one, the question becomes how patient can you be?
I believe that all people should date with the intent to marry. So if you chase after her with this mindset, then maybe you’ll get what you want. But don’t do it with lust either.
Quote: “Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” — 1 Corinthians 6:18
Now I don’t know about you, but someone like that sounds like the last person I’d want to date and that probably goes for her, too. Instead, chase her with pure intentions, with love in your heart instead of lust. Only then will she truly be able to accept your feelings.
3. If you’re not a Christian, the two of you will probably fight a lot.
In this day and age, it’s more common for a person to be open-minded. Some of that open-mindedness can go against what the Bible teaches. This means that your beliefs and hers will probably clash repeatedly. Now, this isn’t to say it’s impossible for you two to get along, but it’ll certainly make things more difficult.
There’s a saying that opposites attract, but just as that works for some people, the same can be said for people of similar tastes dating as well. If you don’t want someone the same as you, then maybe this is what you want, but if arguing doesn’t appeal to you, then it’s time to move on.
I’m not saying that a Christian and a non-believer are destined to fight if they date. It could turn out that things go pretty well. But just be prepared that you two will probably have different stances on some big political issues. If that doesn’t bother you though, then go for it.
Jesse Oakley is a writer who writes about love, relationships, self-care and spirituality/astrology.