9 Ways To Help Your S.O. Feel Like An Equal Partner In Your Relationship
Compromise is a tricky thing.
Photo by Pablo Merchan Montes on Unsplash The best part of a relationship is the sharing of two lives. As routines set in and the relationship becomes more stable than the puppy love of the beginning, it can be easy to get comfortable. But maybe too comfortable.
We rely on the ones we love. And having someone else pick up the slack for you when necessary is all part of the love that we feel for each other.
Have you ever had a relationship, romantic or friendly, that started off great? You were both having so much fun and everything clicked. But slowly, they start slipping away.
They let the dishes pile up in the sink or never paid you back for things you spotted them for. They borrowed your things excessively without asking and slowly became more of a nuisance than a pleasure to be around. It’s truly not a good feeling to suspect that you are pulling all of the weight in the relationship.
If you have great communication in the relationship, these feelings are mendable. Talking to someone that is treating you poorly is the only way to make them aware of the behavior they are doing. Letting someone know that a change is necessary for the relationship to remain healthy and beneficial for you is instantly going to make you feel better. What they do with the information is up to them, but at least you’ve done your part to ease your heart.
We’ve all been there. Carmen Knudson-Martin is the director of the Marriage, Couple and Family Therapy program at Lewis & Clark College. She says, “Research shows that equality, measured as the ability to influence your partner and get them to respond to something that matters to you, is related to lower levels of depression and anxiety and greater well-being and relationship satisfaction.”
The only thing we can do to improve the situations we are in is to make sure we are never that person. Being reliable, helpful, and sympathetic to the people in your life will keep your inner circle plentiful and enjoyable. We have to be proactive in our actions to make sure that we are being as participatory as possible at all times! Take a look at the steps below that you can use to make your partner feel like an equal in your relationship so that you're both happy (and you're both pulling the weight).
1. Ask them questions about themselves.
One of the easiest ways to make someone feel important and wanted is to get them to talk about themselves. Asking genuinely intriguing questions to your partner lets them know that you are interested in them. You want to hear their thoughts and know what they like.
2. Listen closely when they tell stories.
As a follow-up, asking a question is only half of the effort that goes into staying active in your relationship. You need to listen intently so that your partner knows they are being heard. People feel ignored or taken advantage of when they have to constantly repeat themselves because someone couldn’t be bothered to listen the first time.
3. Offer help when doing chores around the house.
You don’t need to make a calendar or chart to keep up with the chores. But if you notice your husband taking out the trash every single week, give him a break! The small acts that we do to relieve the stress of another go a long way in a relationship.
4. Remind yourself to compromise. It doesn’t always have to be the way you prefer it.
Relationship easily feels one-sided when everything is done to please one person. Sure, you may really want sushi again for the third night in the week, but it wouldn’t kill you to go to the burger joint that your man is craving. The secret to success in every long-term relationship is to compromise.
5. Release constant control.
Similarly, compromise extends further than the minor decisions made every day like where to eat or shop. Your partner is their own person. They are fully capable of making decisions that are best for themselves, and if it’s true love, it will end up being best for you as well. Think about how it would feel to continuously have to check in with your man before making a choice. Plus, the spontaneity may spark something up within yourself!
6. At the same time, know what you want in life.
While staying open to new ideas, you need to be super solid in the general timeline of your own life. You partner will feel confident moving forward in the relationship if you are open with the things you expect and the plan you have for the long term. This way, he won’t feel like he is constantly pulling the weight.
7. Speak their love language.
There are many ways to let someone know that you love them. You can be simple and verbally tell them the things you appreciate about them. Maybe they respond best to little gifts or acts of kindness. Whatever they prefer, spend enough time with them to understand what they respond best to.
8. Go out of your way to engage with their friends and family.
Your partner will feel more inclined to let you closer into their life if the other people they care deeply about appreciate your presence as well. Taking the initiative to show interest in the things your man cares about will make him notice that you are willings to meet him halfway, not only within your relationship but also with the broader aspects of his life.
9. Share your thoughts.
Lastly, your man will feel equal if you keep talking to him. Let him know what you think about the things you do together. Whether it is good or bad, communication takes the relationship to a safety net that will ensure a long lifeline. Tell him that you appreciate the things he does for you. Tell him when you think he could improve. If he respects your thoughts, he’ll do the same!
Madison Kerth is a writer who covers zodiac and astrology content, pop culture, religion and relationship topics.