6 Goals To Set For Yourself If You’re Trying To Find Love
True love starts with you.
Unsplash By: Brittany Christopoulos
Now that it’s officially 2019 we find ourselves reflecting on the past year, remembering the highlights and the darkest moments, and focusing on the future. Basically, the end of a year and beginning of a new one can cause us to think a lot.
The other big emphasis while transitioning through another year is trying to make the difficult decision to come up with a new year’s resolution. More commonly, how to actually stick with it throughout the year. It’s a daunting task, and let’s be honest, it’s rare you follow through.
A lot of young women may also be focusing on their goal to find a relationship with someone genuine in this harsh dating world we live in. While it may be hard, it is certainly possible.
For those who are hopeful for love in this upcoming year, here are some goals to set for yourself.
1. Love yourself first
You can’t love someone else or be loved by someone else if you simply do not or cannot love yourself. Make yourself a priority, date yourself for a while to learn about yourself on a new emotional level, and focus on discovering and creating you. Start 2019 by doing things for you and seeing where it goes from there.
2. Burn out old flames
While I’m well aware that sometimes old romances can turn into great friendships, you need to put out the fire from any old flames if you want to move on to someone new. That means no hookups with old flings or ex-partners.
By refreshing your love life, you’re allowing yourself to become excited to learn about someone new, explore your interests and not be distracted by the baggage that might be holding you back.
3. Discover what you actually want in a partner
It’s easy to say “I want someone who _,” but it’s actually more difficult to pinpoint what things you can tolerate and what might be more serious deal breakers. It’s important to highlight the qualities you want a future partner to have in order to take this seriously so you don’t just settle.
Nothing is too big or too small to be negotiated, but at least you’ll be more aware of what you’re looking for when you start talking to someone new.
4. Become open minded
While you’re remembering the qualities you find desirable and the ones that you may be iffy on, it’s also important not to stay closed within your guidelines. As the old saying goes,“don’t judge a book by its cover.”
Just because they have a few things in your negative column doesn’t mean they should be overlooked. In fact, take the time to learn more and consider why that person might be a certain way and begin to expand your mindset.
5. Go into the real world to date
Screw dating apps that only lead you to endless amounts of unknown phone contacts and useless hookups and first dates. Try going into the real world to find somebody and meet them the old fashioned way.
It’s challenging to meet somebody new, especially face to face, but why not try to find a man on a girls night or go to a local bookstore to see a cutie in the corner looking at a good book. You just never know.
6. Live in the moment
Regardless of if you find success in entering a new relationship, are struggling in the search or are left heartbroken in another failed attempt, embrace it. I know it’s hard to live in the moment when you first meet someone and start envisioning your futures together; but you have to focus on the now.
Be present with the person you date or with the situation you’re in. Just because someone else didn’t work out doesn’t mean you’ll be single forever like you think you will.
Dating can be tough when nothing is panning out, and it can be really hard when everyone else is shining and you feel so dull.
But by making these easy-to-follow resolutions, not only are you making a lifestyle change, but you’re making a resolution that should help your outlook on the hunt for a honey to love.
And if you’re too focused on finding someone to love, remember to fall in love with yourself first. Because that truly will be the best relationship you’ll ever have.
Brittany Christopoulos is a writer and journalist who focuses on love and relationships. For more of her relationship content, visit her on Twitter.