The Ultimate Guide To Sex Toys For Curious Beginners
You gotta start somewhere ... May as well have (a lot of) fun!
Unsplash: A L L E F . V I N I C I U S Δ You might not think learning how to masturbate was a thing that needs doing. But if we're all being honest here, the best masturbation tips for women typically suggest using sex toys — and buying your own vibrator or dildo isn't exactly a topic most of us are born educated consumers about.
Personally, I'll never forget the first time I bought a sex toy for myself. I was 19 years old and living in a dorm suite with 5 other women.
If this sounds like the beginning of a "Dear Penthouse" letter, I have to disillusion you.
They were all seniors, and I, a lowly sophomore. They were all hip, with it, having sex, talking about sex, and asking other people about sex. And this was almost more than I could handle because, believe it or not, I haven't always been an out and proud sex writer with a wealth of knowledge about the best sex toys and techniques for women to have intense orgasms like I'm about to share with you.
No, no. I was once a virginal teen with equally virginal teen friends who mostly just giggled whenever anyone even said the word "penis."
Verily, these were dark times.
Luckily, my senior suite mates were open, kind, and super sex-positive.
When they found out that I had never used a sex toy before, they immediately bought me a vibrator that was exactly my speed. That meant mobility, clitoral stimulation, and zero penetration.
I can trot out these words with a flip of the hair now, but as a novice, I had absolutely no clue.
Of course, I wasn't able to tell them everything I thought I needed in my first sex toy. They just knew me, knew my lack of experience, knew what works best on most cis-female bodies, and took it from there.
Thankfully we landed on something that just happened to work for me, but that's not the case for most women.
While some are lucky enough to have someone guide them through their first adventure with sex toys, others, like me, and maybe even like you, have had to wander in the dark, panic-stricken and hoping to eventually feel something.
And although I was lucky to have good friends introduce me to the joyous world of sex toys and masturbation, it wasn't until I learned how to buy sex toys for myself that I developed a vocabulary for expressing my own sexual desires and preferences.
Eventually, I figured it all out, but not before I accidentally ordered something described as a "monster."
I knew what I liked, but I didn't know the words for explaining it.
That's why I'm here writing this for you today — to help you figure out how to masturbate in a way that works for your body, how to find out what turns you on, and how to know the best sex toys to buy in order to help you experience pleasurably intense orgasms.
Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a woman's relationship with her orgasms. We are all beautiful, unique creatures and what works for one person off might not work for you.
My hope is that this beginners guide to the best sex toys for women from BetterSex.com will help make your sex toy shopping easier, more joyous, and infinitely more orgasm inducing.
And ... you know what's even better?
And now, without further ado ...
The Best Sex Toys for Clitoral Stimulation
The majority of all women — a reported 75 percent — cannot climax through intercourse alone. That's because the clitoris, the nerve center of your pleasure palace, is central to orgasm for many, many women.
Maybe this applies to you, maybe it doesn't. But if you're a woman and you have a clitoris, I suggest starting off your sex toy experience with buying a clitoral vibrator.
I always recommend starting out this way, and I recommend it double for women who have never had sex and are still figuring out their bodies. Mastering what turns you on is more important than mastering sex. Take your time, go slowly, find a toy that works for you.
Here are my favorite options.
1. Thunder Stick Wand Massager
Available from BetterSex for $99.95: Buy it here for 50% off with code TAKE50.
Let it be known that I seriously considered including this vibrator in every single category listed here. This wand is powerful, easy to hold, and can you help explore deep clitoral stimulation.
Pro-tip: buy a cheap lipstick vibe for travel because this dude is bulky and loud, and if you're stopped with it in your suitcase by TSA they will absolutely know what you're about to get up to.
2. G-Spot Touch Finger Vibe
Available from BetterSex for $38.95: Buy it here for 50% off with code TAKE50.
When you're touching yourself, particularly when you possess the genitals of a cis-female, they can become a sopping wet mess. And do you know what can be weirdly hard to hold on to? Sex toys.
Do you know what you need to be able to do if you're exploring clitoral stimulation? Hold onto your sex toys.
This slips right onto your finger and stays there. It's got a small but powerful motor, and if you're up for exploring how you respond to clitoral stimulation, this would definitely be an awesome option for you.
The Best Sex Toys for G-Spot Stimulation
Some women don't orgasm when stimulating themselves externally. Instead, it's either "go deep or go home" — because that's where your G-Spot lives ... deep inside of you!
In fact, some scientists believe that the spongy-walnut textured bit of flesh known as the Gräfenberg Spot and located about knuckle up into your vaginal canal is "part of your clitoral network."
As explained on Healthline, "This means that when you’re stimulating the G spot, you’re actually stimulating part of the clitoris," which makes sense when you remember that the clitoris is ten times as big as the tiny bit we can see.
Anyway, whether it be you hunting for your G-Spot or just that you need solid penetration in order to have an orgasm, these toys can literally go the distance.
3. The Comet Wand
Available from BetterSex for $89.95: Buy it here for 50% off with code TAKE50.
The comet wand is actually the second "coming" (lololol) of a much-beloved glass G-Spot stimulator made by the same company.
Why get rid of the glass and the chance to play around with the temperature? Because they added a major mama-pajama of a motor!
Also, the handle makes for easy gripping.
4. Tryst Multi-Erogenous Massager
Available from BetterSex for $119.95: Buy it here for 50% off with code TAKE50.
If you want more bang (pun completely intended) for your buck, this massager is where it's at.
It's multitalented — you can use it alone or with a partner, or he can even use it by himself if he wants to (that's if you want to let him). It’s a simultaneous penis ring, clitoral stimulator, couples vibrator, and more, all in one!
The Best Sex Toy for Combined Stimulation
5. Jack Rabbit Signature Rocking G Rabbit Vibe
Available from BetterSex for $124.95: Buy it here for 50% off with code TAKE50.
The classics are classics for a reason and the rabbit is no exception to that rule. You get penetration and clitoral stimulation all at once.
It can be intense, but if you're looking for more than one area of stimulation and intensity, this is something that comes with the territory.
*Some items not available for full discount.
Created in partnership with BetterSex.com.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cats, Batman and Margo, whose work focuses on relationships, pop culture and news. For more, check out her Tumblr.