Heartbreaking Details About The Manhattan Nutritionist Found Dead After Posting A Suicide Note Online
She had been thinking about taking her life for a decade.
Instagram A Manhattan dietician was found dead in her apartment Wednesday after posting a heartbreaking suicide note on her personal website.
A coworker became worried when Condell, 27, did not show up for work and saw that she had posted a suicidal message on her website. Police responded to a wellness check at Tara Condell's West 10th Street residence, where they found her hanging in he bedroom with cloth around her neck at 4:30 p.m, the New York Post reported.
One of Condell's coworkers was outside her home when police arrived.
The Suicide Note
In her message titled "I Hate The Word “Bye”, But See You Later Maybe?" Condell says she has contemplated suicide for years and has "felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life."
"I have written this note several times in my head for over a decade, and this one finally feels right," the San Fransisco native wrote. "No edits, no overthinking. I have accepted hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment, and I am just plain old-fashioned tired of feeling tired."
In the note, Condell expressed how she was aware her emotional struggle was "the ultimate first world problem."
"I realize I am undeserving of thinking this way because I truly have a great life on paper," she continued. "I’m fortunate to eat meals most only imagine. I often travel freely without restriction. I live alone in the second greatest American city (San Francisco, you’ll always have my heart). However, all these facets seem trivial to me."
She added that "no single conversation or situation has led me to make this decision."
Condell went on to list all of the things she will miss, including New York Times crossword puzzles, real street tacos, and Popeye's.
"I’m also going to miss unexpected hugs," she wrote. "Al Green’s Simply Beautiful. Cherries in July. Tracing a sleeping eyebrow. Smoking cigarettes. The Golden Gate Bridge at sunset. That first sip of iced cold brew in sticky August. Making eye contact with people walking down the street. When songs feel like they’re speaking to your soul. Jeopardy. Saying I love you. Late night junk food binges. Shooting the shit. And especially the no-destination-in-sight long walks."
Condell asked that there be "no GoFundMes, no funeral, no tributes, no doing-too-much please." Instead, she asked people to have a delicious meal in her honor "and let me go, no exceptions."
"It’s selfishly time for me to be happy and I know you can get down with that," she wrote. "Please try to remember me as a whole human you shared memories with and not just my final act. This is not your fault. It’s not exactly easy for me either, I’m here for you. I love you. I always have and I always will, I promise."
She ended her emotional note by addressing her parents.
"I’m coming home, Dad. Make some room up on that cloud and turn the Motown up," Condell concluded. "I’m really sorry mama."
Her Life
Condell's employer, Top Balance Nutrition, confirmed her death in a statement on Facebook Thursday afternoon.
“Tara was a talented dietitian loved by all of her patients and coworkers. But beyond that, she was a true friend who always extended her kindness to those around her,” Top Balance posted. "At this time, Tara’s family and co-workers request some privacy to process the tragic news."
Condell was a registered dietician/nutritionist who specialized in general nutrition, weight management, gastrointestinal disease and geriatric health, according to her bio on Top Balance's website. She bachelor’s degree in dietetics from San Francisco State University and her Master's of Science in Clinical Nutrition from New York University.
She "realized nutrition was her calling after being the sole caretaker of a critically ill parent and seeing how nutrition interactions in the body play a huge role in health," her bio reads.
Condell was featured in two Bravo articles last year when she debunked Kim Kardashian's "diet lollipop" and weighed in on Kourtney Kardashian's water tips.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, we urge you to call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources.
Sarah Gangraw writes about all things news, entertainment and crime. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter.