Why Do Women Like Older Men?
Finally, an answer!
getty When it comes to love, the heart wants what it wants. Let's be honest about that: sometimes our hearts can be distracted by our hormones, and that's when everything goes all haywire.
That madness that seems to strike us all when we fall in love is part of what makes the experience so memorable and intoxicating. However, it can also make dating and love feel like one giant mystery that we may just never get around to solving.
One of the greatest mysteries when it comes to love and dating is the role that age differences can play in relationships. Take for example the idea that women prefer to date men who are older than they are. Why do women like older men? And why does it seem like older men dating younger women is so popular?
You're bound to meet plenty of women out there who will tell you that it's not true and that they've never dated an older man, but that doesn't mean that there aren't women out there who have only ever dated older men — heck, I'm one of them!
Scientists and researchers would say that women are attracted to wealthy men because they are usually further along in their careers, which means more money in the bank, which means more likely to be an awesome partner for reproduction. I don't know about you, I'm certainly not thinking about who is the most likely to give me a baby while I'm swiping through Tinder trying to find someone to go out with.
To that end, I thought it would be for the best to let women talk about why it is that women prefer to date older men. Some women agreed, some were skeptical, and others had viewpoints that I never saw coming.
1. They're more mature.
"In my case, it's generally about maturity, being less likely to have entitlement issues and all that. But that's just been my experience, more of a generalization."
2. They treat women better.
"All the guys I have ever dated around my age treated me like crap. They took me for granted and a lot of them cheated. I can't even find guys my age attractive anymore, but honestly, I don't think they find me attractive anymore either. Mostly, older guys find me attractive and I find them attractive."
3. Because younger men play games.
"I dated a guy the same age as me and a guy 5 years older. For me, it's the difference in maturity. The 20-year-old guy would cringe and complain about my bloody pads in the trash can. The 25-year-old guy did not even bat an eyelash. The 20-year-old played a bunch of jealousy games (flirting with a girl to make me 'jealous' for no reason other than that he could). The 25-year-old guy did not."
4. For stability reasons.
"Sometimes it's because these women (or girls) want stability, maturity, money, or to feel more like an adult; sometimes because they don't have stability at home. Personally, my almost 10 years older boyfriend isn't that mature or in any way wealthy, I just love him for his personality. His age doesn't matter that much to me and didn't matter when I fell in love, although I admit that the fact that he has more life experience than me is attractive in a way."
5. They're homebodies.
"I don't know what you consider 'older' but I was always interested in guys something between 5-15 years older than myself. They were often more mature, financially/career stable, more decisive/less flighty, less impulsive, more homebody (as opposed to party lifestyle). My husband is 7 years older than me, although the older you both get the less of a gap there is in those other things. We met when I was 24 and he was 31, so there was a huge difference between him and guys my age. I'm now 38 and he's 45, so at this point, there's probably little difference between the average 45- and 38-year-old guy."
6. They've experienced more.
"In my experience, it's rare to find men my age who are on the same level maturity wise and has his stuff together. But on the flip side, there are a lot of very immature older men who are looking for an equally immature younger woman to make them feel young again. I'm open to dating older men and have in the past, but I have very high standards for them compared to men my age."
7. Because it's so taboo.
"A few times I've gotten involved with much older men. When I was seventeen I was involved with a 28-year-old. It was legal where I was. I was into him because he had a car and was a total dork so I had him wrapped around my finger. Last year, I was 24 and hooked up with a 44-year-old a few times. He just happened to be my type. Very tall and with a lot of tattoos and punk band shirts. I also just enjoy the illicit thrill of doing something a bit taboo."
8. It's a myth.
"Younger women being attracted to older men is a myth men tell themselves to soothe their egos when dating women who are clearly just after money/lifestyle."
9. They have better voices.
"Ehhh, for me personally it's because I'm attracted to voices before anything else. I haven't met anyone my age whose voice has impressed me, they've all been much older guys. Hopefully, I'll meet someone my age eventually with a deep, gravelly voice."
10. It's got nothing to do with their age.
"I wasn't attracted to my boyfriend because he's older than me. It just happened to be that way."
11. Because women mature faster.
"There can often be a disparity between men and women of the same age in terms of what the next step of their life is or their 'maturity' (for want of a better word), and women will date older guys because of this. A very broad generalization but I know it's true for me and many of my friends."
12. It makes a woman feel more attractive.
"I mean, when I was in my teens, I guess there was just something exciting about capturing the attention of someone older and more experienced than myself (which possibly sounds quite skeevy, looking back on it now)."
13. They can talk about their feelings.
"They have the vocabulary for and practice at talking about their feelings in contexts other than blaming me for them... So it's a more emotionally fulfilling relationship. What's not to like?"
14. Because of abuse.
"Often it's just the only way a girl can see to get away from a bad home life. They aren't attracted to 'older men,' they're attracted to the possibility of a life without severe abuse."
15. Higher chance of reproductive success.
"The evolutionary theory on this is that women are naturally drawn to men who are wealthier and more successful because that's the type of mate who's likeliest to increase reproductive success."
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. Her work focuses on relationships, pop culture and news. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.