What Happened When I Stayed At A Sex Hotel In Mexico
At least I didn't have to spend over $100 on a new swimsuit...
getty Being a traveler pushes you to scale mountains, swim in many oceans, and eat unpronounceable food in markets located in remote villages. But the experience of staying in a sex hotel was one of those moments that no previous experience can prepare you for.
Thirteen months ago, I agreed to uproot my life. I sold everything I owned (or what I managed to own in a 150-square foot apartment in Manhattan), quit my job, took my career freelance, and decided to travel.
And travel I did. I headed to Europe, Asia, South and Central America, eventually making my way up to Mexico.
Throughout my year or so of travels, I’ve sandboarded through massive dunes in the Peruvian deserts, hot air ballooned over ancient temples in Myanmar, and jumped off cliffs in Croatia. So you can say I've tried to fill up my calendar with a year of firsts.
So when the opportunity arose for my two girlfriends and me to join single-sexy-fun month at a reputable nudist and sex hotel, The Desire Pearl in Cancun, I couldn't turn down what would for sure be a first. And boy was it something to write home about.
From the moment my two friends and I checked in, we felt major imposter syndrome. Our check-in was filled with smiles and confusion. What were three single, straight women among a resort of intimate partners doing at a nudie hotel? That was a question we received quite a lot during our three-night stay.
Primarily known as a destination getaway for couples, the introduction of 'Single, Sexy Fun Month' was put in place for single women to attend with the option for couples to invite them to join in their sexcapades.
Like me, my friend Bridget makes a living putting pen to paper and had been invited to review the property. And like good friends we couldn't let her go alone. Throughout the stay, both staff and guests recognized us as the 'three single girls.'
On the first day, we were approached by three other women (that appeared to be the popular and friendly ones in the giant sea of people in the pool) who had left their husbands back in the hot tub. They asked us dozens of questions, all presumably trying to get details on why we were there. We thought maybe they were seeing which of the three of us would be interested in joining them.
While a few couples were there to liven up their own chemistry with their partners (and only their partners), some were there with the purpose of swinging (what we came to learn was referred to as 'the lifestyle').
It was also very important for all guests to follow standard house rules. The most important and primary rule: no means no. The next rule involved cell phones: absolutely no photos or videos are to be taken on the property, ensuring everyone had their privacy when walking around in the buff. In fact, upon our check-in, stickers were placed on both cameras to ensure that we had been following the rules.
One of the last rules worth mentioning, besides make sure your bum is covered at dinner, were sexual activities were only meant to be practiced in designated places (which we discovered was a rule bent every now and again).
Cocktail hours, mixers, day parties, and nightly festivities were all offered by the resort. While many enjoyed the group dynamic of the resort (think: adult naked summer camp), there were plenty of offerings that catered to a couple's intimacy away from the public eye, too.
The spa, while offering traditional Swedish massages and cleansing facials on the menu, also included more romantic options like the 'Sensual Desire and Erotic Massage'. Particularly meant for couples, the experience claims to revitalize and ease both physical and mental stressors by creating a warm and sensual environment.
There was also a rumor around the resort that a special box of "toys," wine, and half an hour of alone time was given at the end of your treatment. Additionally, the resort also offered an entire fantasy menu of options from food play, bondage, private strippers, and pole dancing classes.
Given the extensive amount of sexy amenities offered by the luxury resort, the rooms at Desire Pearl surprised me. While I envisioned mirrors on the ceiling and silk sheets (something I'd particularly find sexy with my man), the rooms were made up of floral, pastels, and wicker furniture, as if the inspiration was pulled from a Laura Ashley catalog.
My friends will be the first to tell you I’m relatively carefree when it comes to wardrobe. Anytime I can refuse to wear a bra, I do it. I’m often scolded by those close to me to wear longer dresses. But at Desire Pearl, my standard motto of "be comfortable in your own skin" was challenged and I was clinging to my coverup for dear life.
As soon as you walk towards the pool or beach, both men and women are dressed in their birthday suits, either sunbathing or playing water polo — activities you’d find at any luxury beach hotel. While many were completely naked, it was interesting to speak to some of the women and discover they actually felt sexier and more comfortable leaving their bottoms on and going topless.
So after three tequila sunrises and a push of confidence, I decided to go topless. It felt weirdly normal and comfortable. Like, having your boobs out was the same as showing off your ankles. Even so, I still kept my bottoms on throughout my stay, and it was completely okay.
The biggest 'WTF' moments for me had to do with the staff. Here I was, topless and ordering a cocktail, and the bartender had a completely straight face. They were total professionals. Like, sure, your breasts are out ... but would you like ice with that? I always felt completely respected and comfortable.
Everywhere I turned while sunbathing at the pool or beach, I saw couples engaging in foreplay, oral, or traditional sex, and that was quite a shock for me. Stressing again how everyone is different and into their own thing. After speaking to many couples and partners who'd been married for ten plus years with kids, they explained how a place like Desire Pearl changed their relationship for the better. And they come back every year for their annual vacation.
The next night, I decided what the heck, wore a babydoll dress to the evening circus/acrobatic show, and took a swing around the pole at the end of the evening party (thanks to the many hours spent at pole dancing classes in NYC).
Conclusion: While I’m not sure that I would personally bring my boyfriend or husband back to the property, I loved finding out that everyone’s cup of tea is different. And some drink their tea in the buff.
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Elizabeth Blasi is a New Yorker. A lifestyle & travel writer, who is often seen with a suitcase in hand, jetsetting to her next location. But as a true Digital Nomad, her love of writing and romance novels means her laptop is always beside her.