5 Reasons Why You Need To Stop Reaching Out To People Who Waste Your Time
Your time is precious.
Time is the most valuable thing you can give someone.
It's fleeting, and we are only allotted a certain amount of it here on Earth. Because of this, we need to stop reaching out to people who waste our time.
Full disclosure, it's a huge pet peeve of mine when someone doesn't have the common decency to notify me ahead of time if they have to cancel or ends up just messaging me hours later. Thanks for nothing, right?
I love good manners, and this kind of behavior feels incredibly rude. More often than not, I've always given people the benefit of the doubt, but after a while, I came to the realization that it's not fair to me if someone does this.
That behavior isn't fair to you, either.
It's totally understandable that last-minute conflicts can and will come up. That being said, you should still have the courtesy to let the person you made plans with know as soon as possible. If it's a true emergency and you can't contact someone at all, again, that is totally understandable! I'm referring to those times when you know you'll be running late, have other things going on, or just plain forget.
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What people who waste our time don't realize is that we are sacrificing our time, which is valuable, in order to spend it with them. We might as well be blowing money.
Whether it's a significant other, friend, co-worker, or acquaintance, it's just not cool to have a lack of regard for other people's time.
If you have someone in your life who has done this, especially multiple times, it's always good to speak up and be honest about how you feel. Maybe that person doesn't realize how their behavior is frustrating you.
If they continue this behavior though, or you simply don't feel comfortable speaking up to this particular person, let it go by no longer attempting to make plans together. Instead of taking the initiative, allow them to come to you instead.
Have you ever been in a situation where you keep putting effort into a friendship or relationship without receiving the same effort in return? Read below to see the 5 reasons why you need to stop reaching out to these kinds of people.
1. You could be doing something else.
That time you spent waiting on someone who once again bails on you without a proper response? Yeah, you totally could have been doing something else!
It's so frustrating to set aside time to meet up with someone, whether it's social or work-related, only to get hit with a follow up message hours later that they "lost track of the time", "something came up", or in some cases, don't even acknowledge the fact that they are getting back to you so late. People who bail tend to forget that they are basically screwing over someone else's time.
Don't waste another Saturday night waiting on someone when you spending your precious time doing something else.
2. They can negatively affect your reputation.
This is especially true when it's related to work. It's just like those group projects in school. No one wanted to get stuck with the kid that never showed up to work on the class project or gave a minimal amount of effort possible. The same goes for adulthood.
Let's say the two of you are assigned on a project together for the company. You have a lot of riding on this, perhaps even a promotion, and you want to be sure it's done to the highest standards. It's frustrating then when your co-worker continually cancels on scheduled meetings together in which the two of you are supposed to work on the company project. Maybe this job isn't as important to the other person, but that's no excuse for such behavior in non-emergency situations. That this co-worker's lack of professionalism also has the potential to affect your reputation as well.
If you run into this scenario, alert your boss and request a new partner. It's one thing if that person wants to damage his or her own reputation, but the minute they start affecting yours, you don't have to be polite and keep trying to schedule meetings together.
Speak up as if your job is literally on the line.
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3. You end up resenting them.
Another pitfall of continually giving second, third, and fourth chances to people who waste our time is that we begin to resent them.
Even if it's someone we genuinely like or admire, it gets harder and harder to get past the fact that this person has left us high and dry so many times. By choosing to quit reaching out and letting the other person come to you instead, you avoid building feelings of resentment. Let them come to you.
Now listen, if you notice that they never end up contacting you, it becomes a good indicator of how valued — or in this case, not valued — you are to that person, and the truth is that we don't want to be prioritizing time for those who don't really care about us.
4. They don’t respect you.
Rest in peace to the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, who so famously sang about respect in the classic 1967 song "Respect." We all deserve it and someone who continually wastes our time clearly does not respect us.
If someone respects you, they are also going to be courteous towards you. Is it a blatant lack of manners? Absolutely! But you can bet that same person doesn't do that to others who they hold in higher regard. One of the most frustrating things to see is people who pick and choose respect based on what they think someone else can do for them. No matter your station in life, you deserve to be treated with decency and definitely should not be having your time wasted by those who don't realize this.
5. You have the chance to take the power back.
One of the best perks of no longer reaching out to those who waste your time is taking the power back!
When someone cancels on us without proper notice, it's frustrating. When we try to make plans with this person another time and the same thing happens again, it feels like we've lost our power. It's humiliating. No matter if it's a colleague, significant other, acquaintance, friend, or relative, sometimes you just need to step back and reclaim your time.
Occasionally, we need a good reminder that we are worthy and our time is valuable, and there is real power in no longer letting others waste your time.
Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. When she’s not writing for YourTango, she is also a travel blogger and an actress.