10 (Very Uncomfortable) Ways To Make Your Relationship Stronger
Relationships require work to keep them healthy and strong.
RossHelen Via Canva By Emilia Gordon
Our society is filled with taboos and when it comes to relationships, there are many. When two people get committed, they hear a lot of things from their friends and peers. Then society interferes and the couple is bombarded with a list of "Do’s" and "Don’t."
But if you look into these taboos, you’ll find that you shouldn’t actually avoid some of them. It might happen that some of these taboos can actually make your relationship better. All you need to do is to shake off your inhibitions and think of the things that could possibly improve your relationship.
A relationship is about two people and if some taboos don’t bring positivity to your relationship, then they aren’t worth following. Here’s a list of 10 taboos that can actually bring the two of you closer and make your relationship stronger. And you probably weren’t expecting them to have such a strong positive impact.
Here are 10 uncomfortable ways to make your relationship stronger:
1. Pursuing different hobbies
When two people get into a relationship, there are certain things both of them love and there are certain things either of them don’t. We do get to see couples who are always together and have bonded because of a wide range of similar interests. They are the ones who go to watch theatres every weekend or click photographs together or probably go hiking together.
But opposites attract too. There are couples whose hobbies aren’t that similar. While one of them might like art, the other one might be interested in going for outdoor activities. But this doesn’t mean their relationship will not work. A relationship is about making time for one another and being supportive. As long as they do so, they are just fine.
2. Not texting one another all the time
Yeah, it might sound extremely romantic to text your partner and even more when your partner is the first one to text you but couples who don’t text each other during the day are no less in love than the ones who do otherwise. According to Johnathan Bennett, a certified counselor, it’s not necessary to need instant access in our lives by continuously texting our partners. A lot of couples find it romantic to work throughout the day and finally spend some quality time with their partners instead of sending quick texts all day long.
3. Sleeping separately
All serious relationships require intimacy but there’s a wrong notion that couples need to sleep in one bed in order to stay together. However, it’s not true. If both the partners are perfectly comfortable in sleeping separately and it doesn’t affect their relationship, then there’s absolutely no harm in that.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Josh Klapow, if you are sleeping in a separate room to avoid intimacy with your partner, then it’s a problem. But otherwise, it’s absolutely okay.
4. Talking about subjects that make you uncomfortable
A lot of people try not to bring up uncomfortable topics in a relationship in order to avoid conflicts. The reality is, the more you bring up such topics, the more the two of you get to understand each other better by resolving them. According to psychologist Dr. Julie Gurner, one shouldn’t be scared to discuss them with their partner and their partner shouldn’t make them feel bad for bringing them up. Talking about such things brings the couple closer and liberates them.
5. Keeping secrets from your partner
Not all things are meant to be told. While a lot of people tell everything to their partners, some prefer to keep secrets. Keeping secrets doesn’t mean you’re lying. It’s perfectly okay to keep certain things to yourself as long as you don’t lie to your partner.
6. Spending some free time alone or without one another
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean the two of you always have to be together even if you are in the same house. You can do things alone like read a book or just have some ‘me time’. You can go out with your friends, take a short solo vacation or go to a movie alone. According to therapist Kimberly Hershenson, having some time alone or without one another helps in retaining one's identity. It means you are giving space to your partner and you have your own life too which makes your relationship interesting. Thereby it helps in keeping the spark in the relationship alive.
7. Eating separately or different things
A relationship isn’t always about doing things together or eating things together. You and your partner might have different eating habits. You’re more of a spicy person while your partner might have a sweet tooth. If you keep on compromising your food for your partner or vice versa, it will bring resentment and rather damage the relationship.
8. Talking honestly about intimacy
You didn’t like something your partner did? Spell it out. A lot of people think that we shouldn’t be talking about our fantasies or about the things we didn’t like. The reality is, the more we talk about it, the closer we become to our partners. Talking openly about things brings two people closer and helps in avoiding misunderstandings or resentments.
9. Talking about exes
We all have our pasts and we know that. Many people tend to act as if they didn’t have any ex before. This is actually a sign they aren’t yet over with them. When you talk about each others’ exes, the two of get closer to one another, and you get an insight into the past which guides you towards the future and increases the level of understanding between the two of you.
10. Revealing your emotions to your partner
No. Keeping emotions to yourselves will only increase the distance. If you express your emotions to your partner and let them express theirs, it will imply that both of you are honest with one another and help you understand each other better.
Don’t do things because society is telling you. Be yourself and honest with your partner. That will take you a long way.
Emilia Gordon is a writer and a frequent contributor to the Mind's Journal who writes about social activism, traveling, and lifestyle topics.