The Red Flags You'll See When He's Manipulating You, According To Astrology
The sooner you're aware of these red flags, the better.
unsplash You may have heard of karmic relationships in astrology.
It's when two strong horoscopes personalities collide with one another and the purpose is to teach a life lesson.
For some zodiac signs, however, that lesson is how to set boundaries and to respect themselves.
No relationship is without problems, no matter how hard you try to make things perfect with your partner.
But even though you will undoubtedly deal with arguments and hurt feelings, it’s how you handle these negative moments that define your relationship.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve told your partner to move his shoes from the front door so you don’t trip for the hundredth time this week or if you realize that the ice cream you’ve been saving for Friday night is mysteriously gone.
There will be times when you just want to blow up at your guy. And trust me, I know how easy it can be to just say whatever you’re feeling in the moment without actually stopping to think about it.
Do you really want to call your boyfriend or husband names all because he got hungry? No, probably not – not even when you told him more than once not to eat your ice cream.
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But it can be hard to get out of that headspace, especially when you add in the stressful day you had at work, you’re behind on your bills, and you feel left out of your squad ever since they forgot to hit you up last weekend.
I get it — I totally do, I’m guilty of it, too. But adult relationships are about taking problems as they come and handling them with maturity.
If you can do that, then you can conquer anything life throws you and your partner’s way. That said, there are some red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.
For example, if you kept leaving your shoes by the front door and your man got upset with you after reminding you that someone was bound to get hurt one day if you didn’t pick them up, that’s one thing.
But if he then blows the whole thing out of proportion and belittles you or accuses you of wanting to deliberately hurt him, that’s a whole other thing. This is what you call a relationship red flag.
Red flags can be like actual red flags that alert you when things are seriously wrong in your relationship.
Your partner should never make you feel like he is sacrificing part of himself just to be with you, make you cry or feel guilty for no reason, or blame you for things that you can’t control – just like you shouldn’t be doing these things to him.
And red flags are when your brain says, “Hey! This totally doesn’t feel right. I’m uncomfortable and upset, and I feel like I’m being backed into a corner.”
Do red flags mean your relationship is doomed? No, but it can lead to some seriously harmful manipulation strategies.
And unfortunately, not all manipulation techniques or manipulators are obvious about what they’re doing.
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So, while you might feel like it’s normal to come home to your partner with anxiety every night, it’s far from okay.
You don’t have to know exactly how he’s manipulating your relationship, but when you know what these red flags are, you can use them to protect yourself from something even worse happening that can make it harder to leave.
And if your relationship is already too hard to leave (for several different reasons), look for support from your friends and family.
Even just telling them, “I need help,” can be the key to getting out of a negative, harmful relationship.
Keep reading to figure out what red flags he uses to manipulate you in your relationship, based on his zodiac sign.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Aries believes that a little friendly competition can make a relationship more flirty and fun, which means if you’re dating an Aries, there’s a good chance he’s tried to turn things into a competition just for the fun of it.
There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, but if his friendly competitive attitude turns into something that feels a little more hostile, he could be manipulating you.
Instead of just racing each other to see who can run to the car faster or who can eat the most pancakes, he’s using his competitive nature to hold power over you.
He might tell you that he’s going to start handling things now because “he’s the man” and he makes you feel insignificant. He might even try delegating meaningless tasks to you because he doesn’t want to have to deal with things that don’t matter to him.
But even if he says something like this, he’s really just lumping you and the relationship into things he can’t be bothered to care for, even though he’ll keep manipulating into staying and taking care of him.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus is very good at guilt-tripping you and then immediately shutting you out so that you have to wallow in this non-existent guilt instead of being able to talk to him and work through what he’s feeling.
This guilt trip might be apparent through outright accusations (“This is all your fault!” “How could you do that to me?”) or gaslighting (“I told you I had plans this week, you never listen to me.”
“No, it’s fine I’ll just handle it.”). Even if, somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you didn’t do anything wrong, these manipulation tactics can be very convincing.
After effectively making you feel bad, he might tell you that he’s upset or just not in the mood to talk about it. Then, he’ll ignore you, letting you sit there and think about what you’ve supposedly “done” until you apologize to him.
The whole point of this is to make you feel relieved and lucky that he didn’t break up with you when he finally forgives you so that you can “learn to be better” to him in the future. Don’t feel bad if you do feel relief after this mood of his is over, but remember that it most definitely is manipulation.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
If you know Gemini at all, then you know that it’s not a surprise that he’s a talker – he loves being the chatty type because he feels like he has a lot to say (and that what he does have to say is pretty important).
So, him sharing a story about his day at work or planning your weekend together isn’t out of the ordinary. It’s only when he stops talking long enough to listen to what you have to say that you know something is up.
If it feels like Gemini keeps talking over you, cutting you off, or ignoring you whenever you’re trying to get a word in edgewise, then he probably is.
Gemini might be sneaky at times, but he tends to wear his emotions on his face, so this manipulation tactic isn’t so easy for him to hide. He might even continually repeat things so that you get the hint — like letting you know that he’s not really happy with you coming out with him and his crew — and will leave him alone.
This is a huge red flag because it’s his way of gradually controlling you so that he constantly has the upper hand in your relationship and can call all of the shots.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer is already one of the most emotionally-connected zodiac signs. He’s not afraid to cry or get angry and will try to tell it like it is as much as possible to keep honesty at the forefront of your relationship.
That said, he can also get very insecure at times, which can lead to more emotional instability instead of emotional connectedness. Just because Cancer wants to be honest with you doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with confrontation and opening up when he’s feeling extra vulnerable.
The biggest red flag you’ll notice when Cancer is manipulating you is how he will use his emotions to defend himself – whether he’s defending a lie or a secret – so that he can seem like the helpless victim.
This means crying to get out of an uncomfortable argument or acting offended when you try to explain to him that everyone can relate to bad days (“Why would you say that to me? You know I’ve been going through so much right now.”).
When he gets like this, it can be impossible to talk to him, but if you try to ignore him, he will continue to use his emotions to manipulate you into catering to him exclusively instead of taking care of your own needs.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
When Leo is trying to manipulate you, he does it gradually and very dramatically. You might be having an argument one day where he doesn’t seem too worked up, but a few weeks later, he’ll bring up the same argument you supposedly settled just so he can yell, cry, and blame you for his outburst.
He can be the kind of partner who says he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore, but won’t let the issue go because he still wants to be the center of attention.
Another red flag in Leo’s manipulation game is when he uses the “I thought you loved me?” card. He will try to guilt you into apologizing and making it up to him for whatever he feels hurt over by making it seem like you don’t love him at all or by telling you just how much he loves you and how much he’s sacrificed for you.
Any guy who makes it sound like he had to sacrifice his own happiness to be with you is straight up manipulating you.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo’s plan of attack when manipulating you is to deliberately provoke you into an argument or something equally as nasty. If acting cranky or grumpy isn’t enough to get to your break, bringing up something you told him in confidence or something in your past that really hurt you is his next go-to strategy.
His only intention is to hurt you because he feels hurt on the inside (and doesn’t want to deal with it like an adult.
Virgo is also known to turn things around on you so that you always look like the bad guy. Maybe he brings up a bad memory about you and your ex that makes you lash out at him.
He then might bring up your argument to someone else and make it seem like he was just asking you a question when you snapped at him or, worse yet, flip the whole thing and make it seem like you were the one who brought up his ex and started a fight for no reason. Manipulative and petty.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
A big red flag in your relationship with Libra is when he starts using his past as a weapon. No one has ever had a perfect life; there are times in all of our lives when we’ve been mistreated by a partner or have had to overcome family problems alone.
And Libra is the kind of zodiac sign that finds strength in being able to relate to others about his problems. The only problem here, though, is that he can’t seem to let go and grow from these past wrongdoings.
Libra will manipulate you by using his past as a way to make you feel like a monster. He might compare you to an especially bad ex he had (one he previously told you about) or tell you that you’re just like everyone else in his life — and that he knew deep down you weren’t good for him.
These manipulation tactics are meant to make you feel small and stuck; as if you’re not allowed to stand up for yourself and that leaving the relationship now will only prove his point.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio has a way of latching onto your weaknesses and preying on them until you have nothing left. He might not be the type of guy to open up to you easily, but he’s always made you feel like your secrets and your weaknesses were safe around him.
But now that things in your relationship are getting rocky, he’s going into manipulation mode and red flags are going up all over the place.
Scorpio is NOT afraid to play dirty. No, screw dirty. Scorpio plays downright nasty. When he wants to hurt you, he will do everything in his power to do so, even taking those secrets of yours you confided in him with and throwing them back in your face.
He might take you by surprise when he starts manipulating you, but he’s also one of the most obvious manipulators of the zodiac; he’s not one to sneak around when he wants to hurt you. Expect his manipulation tactics to feel like a stinging slap in the face; his words can really hurt.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius is an independent guy by nature, so shaking that “lone wolf” attitude when he’s in a relationship can be hard for him to do. A big red flag for him is when he starts acting like you’re not really a part of his life anymore.
Think of it as a combination of his friends telling him that he’s whipped or always with the “ball and chain” and him ghosting you… even when he knows that you’re in an actual relationship and not just hooking up.
When Sagittarius is manipulating you, he wants you to know that you’re getting an eviction notice from his heart. He might seem like he cares about your opinions or wants to hear you talk about your day, but he’s always distracted or does his own thing anyway.
You’re obviously just trying to show him that you care, but when he says, “Yeeeeah I just went ahead and did my own thing this time. Thanks though,” like you’re one of his bros (and not a close one), it means he wants to go back to that lone wolf life of his and doesn’t care if he breaks your heart in the process.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn is all about protecting his perfect reputation from people who he thinks want to ruin him. Capricorn is also all about power — if he doesn’t have the upper hand in any situation, he’ll work hard to tear it down.
Usually, he uses his power for good — like moving up in his career and setting high relationship expectations when it comes to finding the perfect partner — but he can also be unpredictable.
His main manipulation tactic is when he tries to regain control of you and the relationship by taking away all of your power. He doesn’t want to break up with you (because then he has no one to control).
But he will use condescending language, ice you out for periods of time when you don’t listen to him, and refuse to forgive you for little things that probably wouldn’t bother anyone else (“What do you mean you forgot to buy butter at the grocery store? That’s just like you to do that.”).
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius uses his intelligence to manipulate you. A lot of red flags come from the way he speaks to you when he’s unhappy with you or when the relationship isn’t living up to his standards.
He is also able to use these manipulation tactics — like talking down to you, being sarcastic, or making his voice sound sweet even when he’s insulting you — in a way that makes you feel like he’s not actually mad at you or like it’s all your fault.
He is a pro at using inflection and tone to his advantage, which is only more manipulation at work. In fact, Aquarius is one of the craziest zodiac signs when it comes to manipulating others because they can be so sneaky at it, you almost forget that he’s not being your friend.
He’ll also start acting emotionally distant around you, which can make it really hard to tell if he really doesn’t care or is keeping you at arm’s length so that it only seems like he doesn’t care.
His red flags are all over the place, so it’s sometimes easier to say that if he’s not acting chill and friendly with you, there’s probably something wrong.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces is one of the more emotional zodiac signs who can turn emotionally unstable if things don’t go his way. He can also get whiny sometimes, almost like a little kid, which might just sound annoying, but can actually be really frustrating to deal with, especially when you’re trying to have an adult conversation with him.
One big red flag with Pisces is him actively refusing to talk to you because he’s so upset. If he can’t be honest with you upfront, then he doesn’t think of your relationship as something he wants to constantly work on.
When Pisces is trying to manipulate you, he will keep up with this childish behavior until you can’t take it anymore. When you finally say, “That’s it!” and try telling him this isn’t going to work anymore.
He manipulates you even more by acting like the victim and making it seem like he’s done everything for this relationship and you’re still treating him unfairly. He doesn’t even need to find proof to back up his complaining because it’s so incessant that you can’t help but agree with him just so he’ll stop.
And once he knows he can get his way every single time, he’ll use this manipulation tactic almost constantly.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.