Why A Broken Heart Is The Best Thing That Could Happen To You
It has to happen eventually.
unsplash / alex perez There is a lesson in your heartbreak.
The person who left you when you needed them the most. The love that abandoned you and sent your world tumbling down. The ending that crushed you so utterly that you wanted to swear off a relationship. Those experiences are responsible to shape you into the person you’re today.
You didn’t set out to be a cynic; in fact, all along you were a hopeless romantic who believed that love would always triumph against evil. Despite what you went through, you still hold out hope that there is someone out there in this vast universe for you. You’re waiting patiently for the stars to align and fate to bring you to them when the time is right.
Yet that doesn’t mean that you come out unscathed from the turmoil that you had been through. You’re forever altered by the people whom you met, loved, and lost. With each relationship, you learn. You learn that there is a lesson in every goodbye and a lingering regret behind every love story that ended prematurely.
With every experience, you become stronger. You’re emboldened by the choices you make and become more confident in the relationship you want and to never settle for love again. You accept the lesson gracefully and let go of what you couldn’t change. You learn that it is better to love than not at all.
Some people are only supposed to come into our life for a brief period. That doesn’t mean we should dismiss their presence and diminish the role they played.
I remember there was this relationship I had that I felt was a waste of my time. It was like one moment we were together, the next we were not. It was seeing his true colors and not knowing what was real. It was being lied to and not able to see the rationale behind. It was confusion and bitterness about the way things ended as though I wasn’t worth any effort.
However, despite the heartache, it was relatively easy to get over him. I took down all our photos without a second thought. I woke up every morning certain that it was my best decision to part ways with him. I thought back to how different we were and comforted myself that it wasn’t meant to be. I felt liberated and motivated to move on and create my own life separate from him.
It was hard to swallow at first, but soon I understand that everything happened for a reason. Even though I was better off without him, I met him at a time when I needed him. I was in a rough place, on the verge of giving up on myself and on a downward spiral. He for all his flaws was of a decent character and cheerful disposition that gave me hope that I deserve better than what I was facing then. He let me realize the standard I should hold for my next relationship and the importance of not compromising on the values I believe in. He was vital in my self-love journey as he provided the trigger for me to search for my identity and happiness outside of romantic love.
Some relationships may haunt us for life, some people may hurt us beyond measure, and some experiences may be traumatic and leave us never the same again, but there is always a lesson beneath it.
A lesson that teaches you the strength to rebuild yourself piece by piece until you’re better than ever. A lesson that teaches you the strength of forgiveness so that you can heal the broken pieces of the past and move forward confidently into the future. A lesson that teaches you to love and value yourself above all else.
These lessons will lead you to live your best life after your heartbreak. It will convince you that your best years are ahead of you, and this is only the beginning.
Liane is a 20-something girl living in sunny Singapore. She writes about falling in love, falling out of love, and everything in-between. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook.