13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Woman Who Likes Being On Her Own

Just because she's strong doesn't mean she doesn't desire love.

13 Brutal Truths About Dating Strong, Independent Women unsplash / nathan dumlao
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I have this theory: men can be intimidated by strong, fiercely independent women. 

Whether in a business professional setting or as it pertains to dating in the 21st century, men seem to find undeniably confident and independent women sexy and intriguing, yet some men still struggle with the fact that they find these women intimidating, sometimes even unapproachable. 

Why? Well, I can’t say I can fully and completely answer that question, or understand it if I’m being completely honest. But, I can give you some insight as to why, based on my personal experiences with this when it comes to men. 

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1. She doesn't need you.

She doesn’t need you in order to be herself. She doesn’t need you in order to feel accomplished or fulfilled. She doesn’t need you in order for her life to make sense; to have meaning and purpose. She doesn’t need you to fix her broken pieces — she does it on her own. She would love to share her life and adventures with you, but she knows she doesn’t need to. 

2. She doesn't put up with games.

Whether you’re the type who likes to play the dating game, the mind game, the texting game, or whatever games millennials have come up with as it pertains to dating these days — you know she won’t put up with it. Simply put, she knows what’s worth her time and what isn’t. 

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3. She radiates confidence and happiness.

She’s the one her friends admire and the one the guys want to have in their life. She’s ambitious and driven. She’s mysterious. She’s successful. She’s stubborn, yet intriguing. She’s not single out of bad luck, rather, she’s single because she has too much self-love and respect to settle for anything less than what she deserves.

4. She puts her dreams and passions first.

It’s what keeps her going — she has a list of things to check off of her list before life passes by too quickly. She’d love for you to be apart of it along the way, but not taking away from this list in any way, shape, or form. She has lofty ambitions, and many of them…if you want to be apart of her life you need to accept, respect, and support her putting her dreams first. 

5. She doesn't necessarily need your help.

She rarely asks for help because she likes to learn new things — through failing, succeeding, trying. 

6. She's okay with time and space being a necessity.

She enjoys spending time with you, but she loves her alone time — time to herself; time with friends; with family; with this world, just as much.

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7. She tends to live on the adventurous side.

She lives for her freedom. She dives head first into her biggest fears and greatest challenges because that’s what keeps her on her toes. In order to fit and align with her world, you need to push her and challenge her just as much as be that person to lean on. She needs and wants tough love just as much as understanding, passionate love. 

8. She's not scared of getting her heart broken, she's scared of breaking yours.

She’s experienced a lot more than you think in this life already, which has made her appreciate all things in every form — the good, the bad, the complicated, the ugly heartbreak. She’s not concerned about her heart breaking because she knows she’ll be just fine. But, she still fears there’s too much she has yet to learn and experience — she still fears she’ll be the one to break your heart. 

9. She shares her love with everyone in her world.

She lives compassionately and loves passionately — it’s what draws people so close to her so easily. She’s a light and a voice for the people she admires most in her life. She has too much love in her heart to only be willing and capable of sharing it with just you. Learn to respect and admire that she has worlds of love to give to someone, to something, other than just one person. 

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10. She knows exactly what she wants.

For this reason, her standards are high and they won’t be coming down anytime soon. Because of this, don’t be hurt if she chooses not to introduce you to her family — she most likely doesn’t introduce just anyone to her family unless she’s serious about them. 

11. She sticks to what she believes in.

She was either born a stubborn beauty or been through hell and back in order to become her own voice and light. Either way, she won’t let you steal her thunder or transform her way of life. She will never apologize for who she is, for her fragile heart, or for how she views the world. #NotSorryBoutIt

12. She is "the chase."

One of the biggest thrills about modern dating is “the chase” — some women, and men for that matter, play hard to get to keep the chase alive and well. But when it comes to strong, fiercely independent women, they just are plain and simply hard to get to begin with. So yeah, I can see that being slightly intimidating to men. 

13. She's her own biggest fan; she's her own superhero.

She admires you and the love and support you bring to the table, but at the end of the day, she knows she can depend on herself; she can live for herself; she can support herself. She has more appreciation for this life than you could ever imagine — for being present in each and every moment, and not giving that up for any reason.

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But all that said, a strong, fiercely independent woman still desires love in her own unique way. Rather than seeking a fairytale romance, she years for passion, equality, and inspiration. Building one another up and taking on the work hand-in-hand. Owning each other's differences and similaries. Exploring contrasting passions to keep the excitement of life alive. Encouraging one another, challenging one another, pushing one another to aspire to be the best version and bringing that out in one another. Living and loving to your maximum potential, both individually and together as one, because you each have worlds of love to give and share with the world.

A strong, fiercly independent woman will make you step up your game to be better for yourself first so you can be strong together — an unstoppable force conquering this world as one.

RELATED: Only A Strong Man Will Appreciate A Strong Woman


Alexa Loebel's words can be an outlet, an inspiration, a foundation, or simply a story in helping others find their way through this crazy life. Other than that, she's just your typical mid 20 something-year-old Midwest gal being young, making mistakes, enjoying spontaneous adventure, and finding her way coast to coastin’. Follow her foodie, travel, & lifestyle journey on social media

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