6 Things That Happen When You And Your Soulmate Aren't Meant To Be Together
Sometimes it's not meant to work out.
unsplash / kyle bearden The term “soulmate” is often misused because many think it simply refers to “the person you love” or “the person you’re marrying.”
But the truth is, and those of you who have found or met your soulmate will know this, it is a totally different feeling and experience than just being with someone you love.
When you find your soulmate, not only have you fallen head over heels in love, but you have this connection that you feel either on an intellectual, spiritual, or emotional level. This feeling is difficult for many to describe. But your soulmate has your entire heart, and the relationship is much more intense than a regular one. This person is not only your entire another half, but they’re the person that just gets you, the only person who feels like home and like you’ve known them through many lifetimes (which your soul has).
You cannot imagine life without this person, but the saddest thing is when in this life, you and your soulmate are just not meant to be. At least not yet. Perhaps in the next life, you will be. But right now, you’ve tried everything, but the relationship has become toxic.
Saying goodbye to a soulmate is a pain that is almost unbearable. Like a regular break-up only a hundred times more intense and emotionally damaging — as if a part of you dies when that person leaves your life.
This is how life continues on after you and your soulmate realize you’re not meant to be in a relationship in this life:
1. You find love again, but it’ll never feel the same.
Yes, you will fall in love again, and you may even get married and move on to have a happy, fulfilling life. But, even then, something will always feel like it’s missing. You can’t really explain it, but you sometimes feel this void that isn’t being filled regardless of the amount of happiness in your life or new relationship. It’s a part of you that’s out of reach. Like no matter how much time has passed since it ended between you and your soulmate, it never goes away. Love never truly feels the same way it did before. Whether you ever admit that or not, you feel it deep down in your heart.
2. No matter how many years go by, you still think about the memories.
The memories will always be difficult to let go of. Especially if you go through a rough time in your life, you’ll tend to replay those memories in your head a lot. It doesn’t matter how many years go by, your mind will always wander back to that place, back to that time you were together, and back to that life you once lived that no longer exists in the present. You’ll get random flashbacks, sometimes they’ll come out of absolutely nowhere. But whether it be good memories or bad, you’ll always carry them with you. It’s all you have left of them.
3. You become an entirely different person.
A part of you dies when you and your soulmate part ways. You sincerely never feel the same. You change a lot about yourself, especially the way you handle any matters of the heart when it comes to dating or love. It’s like the pain of the loss corrupted you to your inner core, and altered life as you once knew it.
A great example of this is in Sam Smith’s song “Palace,” when he says, “They will love the better you, but I still own the ghost of you.” You just take on this entirely different person, a mere ghost of yourself, living this completely different life.
But the thing is, most people find this version of you better because you’ve learned and grown so much since then, you see things more clear now. Although getting this to this point caused you so much pain, and you may even miss some parts of your old self from time to time.
4. You might question all the “bad” that happened.
The thing is, if you’re not with your soulmate despite doing every damn thing to try and make it work, chances are it’s because things became toxic or unhealthy. The intensity of being with a soulmate can often lead to a lot of fights and arguments, which can, of course, become ugly and lead to destruction. But the more distance you get from all of this, and as more time passes, you tend to see all that “bad” in a different light. You start asking yourself if some of that “bad” were actually all your fault, or if you maybe would have handled things in a better way. You may question how bad things really were, or if maybe you just overreacted at the time.
5. They still appear in your dreams.
Years and years could go by, but your soulmate will still make appearances in your dreams. It’s the way your subconscious mind and your soul cope with walking through this life with your soulmate no longer by your side. In everyday life, you may be totally okay with this fact, but subconsciously, the pain still lingers.
6. You will settle into your new life, but your soul will always carry this person with you.
You will move on, you will enjoy life, you will go on adventures and live. But, they will always be a part of you in some way. Their presence, the memories — you will carry all that with you, in your heart and in your soul. And in another life when it is all meant to be, you and your soulmate will reunite, and it’ll be magical. But until then, enjoy life to the fullest. Love with your entire heart. See the world. Strive for success. And become the best possible version of yourself.
Nikki is a writer from Boston who has a passion for sports, baking, fitness, dancing, music, and adventure. She enjoys helping others through sharing her stories and experiences. Check out her website and follow her on Instagram and Facebook.