What He Needs To Feel Truly Loved, Based On His Love Language
This will keep him (and your relationship) happy.
unsplash Has there been a time in your relationship when you didn't see eye to eye with your man? He would tell you he doesn't feel appreciated by you or how the relationship isn't what it could be. No matter how hard you try to save the relationship, your man still feels that you don't get him. Slowly you're drifting apart, and you don't have a clue why.
It could be a number of things. Maybe things aren't as passionate as when you first met. It was so much easier back then! But as the years go by it's getting difficult for you to show your man that you care about him.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman's concept of the five love languages, people primarily express and receive love for one another in one (or two) of five way: through words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service or gifts.
Depending on your and your boyfriend's love language, there can be a serious disconnect between you two. Your efforts of giving him the attention he needs will go to waste if it's not a love language he understands.
For example, your love language may be physical touch, but his might be words of affirmation. If you don't know your boyfriend's way of showing love and you keep hugging him but never offer him compliments, those well-intention signs of affection could be totally missing the boat. it's truly like you two are speaking two different languages.
If you learn how to understand and speak both of your love languages, your relationship would flourish. You'll find it easier to show him how much you care, and he won't know what hit him!
Here's how to understand (and "speak") your boyfriend's love language.
1. Words Of Affirmation
Your man's love language means he really appreciates being told how much you care. When you have time, send affectionate texts about how you feel and he won't be able to get you off his mind. Making simple compliments to him will give him more confidence.
To him, there's nothing sweeter than saying "I love you." Beware: being careless with your words will do an unspeakable amount of damage to your relationship.
2. Quality Time
Your boyfriend is the kind of guy that needs your undivided attention to feel loved. You have to take a break from all distractions and really spend some time with him. You can do something as simple as whipping out his favorite board game and listening to what he has to say. It's important to find out what he enjoys doing the most and then plan on doing it the next time you hang out. Paying more attention to your phone during your date or randomly canceling on him will really hurt him.
3. Gifts
This doesn't mean that he is materialistic! To him, receiving thoughtful gifts from you means the world to him. It's best to listen to him to see what he likes and make a mental note of it. Getting him his favorite beer will make him feel as if you truly understand him. Or try sending a very sexy picture of yourself. He'll definitely appreciate you for it.
Each gift that you give shows how much love them and know what they like. Never miss a birthday or give thoughtless gifts, or the relationship will be ruined.
4. Acts Of Service
Your boyfriend loves a woman that will help out in any way she can. Your actions will speak volumes to them. If you can help make their lives just a little bit easier, they will know that you love them. Do something for him. Doing a small chore for him will do wonders for your relationship. Pick up after yourself and clean what needs to be cleaned. Being lazy will be the kiss of death to your relationship.
5. Physical Touch
For your boyfriend, words will fall on deaf ears. He needs you to touch him. This is a guy that likes you to get all touchy feely with him. Not only in a sexual way. He like any form of simple touching from putting your arms around him to stroking his cheek. He needs physical contact to feel that you genuinely want him. Any kind of neglect is unacceptable.
Jamille Jones has lived teaching English in Hiroshima, Japan for 2 years. She's an Asian culture enthusiast, chocolate addict, video gamer, and loves to teach for the heck of it.