3 Ways Therapy Can Help Save Your Marriage (When It’s Falling Apart)
Yes, you can fix it!
Stock When there are issues in your marriage, they can sometimes feel insurmountable. And these issues can affect every area of your life, whether it’s your ability to talk to your spouse about your needs, achieve satisfaction in your sex life, or feel happy in your overall day to day — all of which are crucial in order to save your marriage.
But reaching out to your partner when you’re having problems can be difficult when one or both of you don’t know how to break the cycle of back-and-forth arguing and just speak to one another. It can be incredibly difficult to see where the problems are when you're in the thick of it, and sometimes you need a helping hand to understand where things have gone wrong.
But, says Mary Kay Cocharo, family and marriage therapist, there are ways to fix this problem and save your marriage before it falls apart.
And it just starts with a little communication.
If you and your spouse are working to save your marriage, then here are three ways you can reach out to each other and begin to heal:
1. Find a peaceful, quiet safe space where you can talk about your feelings.
Many men don’t want to go to couples’ therapy because they feel that they’re being blamed for everything by their wives. They don’t want to then pay a bunch of money to have yet another person blame them for something else. It’s important that you select a therapist — and space — that you’re comfortable with so that you can both sit down and talk heart to heart about your feelings.
2. Good relationship therapy will help you interrupt the blame cycle.
You can typically choose to work with your counselor in a “workshop,” or by doing a smaller “intensive” with your spouse and the therapist.
Couples workshops are places where you can learn skills and to communicate more effectively with one another, and the focus will be on how to better talk to your partner. Likely, you will be in a group with no more than four to six other couples, and through group exercises, can learn to become a more effective unit in communicating your needs to one another.
You can also work with your therapist in a smaller setting or “intensive,” which might be better if you’re a more private couple or feel that your issues require strict one on one attention. If that's the case, then you should consider a one or two-day private session with your therapist.
3. Focus on healing the rifts and letting go of resentments.
Whatever setting you choose, you’ll be able to learn how to stop the fighting, communicate your needs and wants to each other in a pleasant way, and to revive the waning sexual energy in your relationship. You and your spouse can work toward happiness and loving each other together and you'll feel accomplished when you overcome your issues!
Mary Kay Cocharo is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. For more help or support, don't be afraid to reach out. She's here to help!