10 Huge Downsides Of Dating A Single Father
He may have a good look, but it's not as good a look as you think.
istock Single dads, for many ladies, are considered to be a “unicorn” in the dating scene. Or, rather, I should say that the Single Dad Trope seems to be the best thing around. He’s good with kids, clearly wants a woman ready to settle down, and he also happens to be in a good enough state to be open to a new relationship.
With so many ladies wanting a Mr. Right to settle down with, you’d think that single dads would have it easy. But truth be told, most women do not want to deal with them. And they are wise to make that call in most cases.
The problem that single dads are facing, though, is the fact that they are themselves. Speaking as a veteran in the dating scenes (and as a child-free person), I totally understand why a lot of ladies have a harder time wanting a relationship with a guy who has kids to take care of, regardless of how incredible he is as a person. While there are certainly plenty of reasons relationships with single dads can work out beautifully, for some, it's best to know the additional downside of dating a single dad.
1. Dating a single dad means that you will have to play “mommy,” regardless of what he says.
This is the big thing most women don’t want to deal with when they’re dating a single dad. Most single dads are looking for a mother to their kids, even if they don’t realize that’s what they want.
The problem with this is that most women do not want to be forced to have to get in that role while they’re still dating.
2. Baby mama drama is a thing.
Yes, I’ve seen countless baby mamas try to get between a single dad and his new date. Also, for some reason, single dads tend to like to cheat on their new relationships with their baby mamas.
Because she’s tied to his kid, she will always be a part of his life. That’s a big “no thanks” for most ladies.
3. A lot of single dads tend to have entitled double standards when it comes to dating.
It’s baffling how many single dads do not want to date single mom, or dumped the mothers of their children because they “let themselves go.” Some even openly admit it’s because they want a woman who will take care of their kids while also looking like a gym bunny.
It’s 2017, and no one has time for that. Frankly, most guys who think that way have shown they really don’t have anything to offer women as a whole.
4. There’s also the issue of time.
Raising kids takes a lot of time out of your day, and guess what? If you’re dating, that time ends up being deducted from what you could be spending with your date. Unfortunately for single dads, most women do not want to have to work around a kid’s schedule.
5. Don’t forget the money aspect, either.
Most single dads out there have to pay child support and possibly spouse alimony. So, even if he does have a six-figure income, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll have much money to spend on dates.
Speaking as someone who’s dated single dads who expected me to pay for dinner because of bills dealing with kids, this isn’t attractive.
6. No matter how “okay” with kids you are, there’s always that concern about having the breakup hurt the kid.
Here’s the thing: in a normal breakup, you end up with two people hurt. When you date a single dad, there’s also an innocent party at stake. That does not feel good at all.
7. Though this isn’t always the case, there good reason to worry about single dads being unfit partners.
Raising a kid is a two-person job. With most women dreading the potential of being a single mom, it says volumes if you find out that he’s divorced or that she’s walked from him. That typically means that the ex felt it was easier to be alone than it was to be with him, and you have to wonder why.
8. A lot of women do want to have kids, but want their kids to be the dad’s first.
Once again, totally understandable, since most women want to go on that journey with someone that has about the same experience as they do. So, that’s kind of an automatic dealbreaker, no?
9. There’s also the issue of his kid coming first, all the time.
Sorry ladies, it’s true. A single dad will always prioritize his kids first, and that means that you will never be the number one in his life.
If you aren’t cool with that, dating a single dad will not work out well for you. Also, if he’s not putting his kid first, you probably don’t want to date him because of what that says about his priorities and personality.
10. It’s just a lot more “what-ifs” than most people want to deal with.
What if his kid’s a nightmare? What if his baby mama is a psycho? What if, what if, what if...? That kind of baggage is not sexy, no matter how many articles about “dad bods” you read.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.