6 Types Of 'What If?' People (And How To Know If You've Met Yours)
A 'what if?' person is almost worse than 'the one that got away.'
Pexels Have you ever had a hunch that something was missing in your life? Something vital, or a person who you thought may have been the one? Someone who you wonder if a real relationship could have worked out.
A 'What If' person is a someone that you could have had a relationship with but for one reason or another you choose not to. It could be someone you instantly connected with on your way to work or that longtime friend who you wanted something more with but never pursued out of fear of what it could do to your perfect friendship.
My 'what if' person was an Argentinian man I had met on one of my many travels around Japan. I stayed in a gender-mixed hostel, and he was one of my roommates (no judging, mixed dorms are incredibly cheap!). He was a teacher who had full dark hair, big brown eyes, and a smooth voice. In my small, nearly abandoned city, I've never met a man that was so sophisticated, well learned, and... well, a MAN.
At that point, I'd only been dealing with boys who acted ten years younger than their actual age. When I was direct in wanting him, he came back with equal passion. I'm incredibly honest in what I want and don't do the subtle and coy thing. We got to know each other, and we'd spend hours at a time chatting about all aspects of our lives. We instantly connected. He had a limited amount of vacation time and I had to return to my rural community in Japan. We would have gone on a date, but I was too depressed and in my own funk to try it.
To this day I wondered what would have been. If I was able to put aside my issues and be with him what would have happened? Would it have been a fling or something more?
Here, you'll find out about 6 different kinds of 'What If' people. Have you met yours?
1. Someone you met on vacation.
You're vacationing to enjoy time with friends, family or even by yourself. You meet someone that you really click with. In just a few hours it's like you've known each other for a long time. He could be your future husband. One night stands are expected because you'll only be together for a short time. You convince yourself that it would never work out... but what if it did?
This is vacation scenario is exactly what happened to Kevin and Danielle Jonas when they met on a family vacation in the Bahamas. They gave their romance a chance, and now there aren't any what if's.
2. A stranger passing by.
Let's say you're sitting on a bus on your daily commute to work. You lock eyes with a complete stranger and feel an instant connection to them before you even speak. It could be natural chemistry, or this could be 'The One'.
You often think about what would happen if you tried to talk to him. Maybe he was just as interested in you as you were in him! All you have are doubts and thoughts about what could have been.
3. A longtime friend.
You've known him for ages, and he knows you like the back of his hand. You do everything together and have a blast doing it. All of your family hints that you two would be a great couple.
You pushed out the idea of him being your boyfriend to protect what you have now. This relationship is too important to risk losing. What if dating doesn't work out and it ends your friendship? You eventually move on with your life, and he does too. But you can't help but wonder what would happen if you tried to date him.
4. A forbidden romance.
The forbidden romance is a little tricky. It's a star-crossed lovers situation that mirrors Romeo and Juliet where you both have an instant attraction and would have gotten together, but for one reason or another it's socially forbidden.
This could be a relationship with your boss or coworker, banned due to work policies. It could be someone your friends don't approve of or a friend's ex. Maybe you feel an intense attraction to your boyfriend's older brother. Whoever it is, the feelings you have for one another are considered taboo. And it weighs on you. What if you pursued the relationship despite what others thought?
5. An ex.
This 'what if' centers around someone you've already dated, and it didn't work out. Something in life came up and forced the relationship apart. You often think of your ex, wondering what would've happened if you stayed together.
6. The other person in a love triangle.
There comes a time in life where you have to make a decision between two romantic options. One guy is just the sweetest man you've ever known. You feel comfortable around him and can be yourself. The other guy gives you a lot of passion and is very career-driven. These two men have something you love about each of them but it's so hard to choose.
You've had the chance to pick which man you wanted to get serious with. After you've made your choice, you often imagine how your life would have turned out had you chosen differently. Would you have been happier together? Did you choose the right man?