Zodiac Signs Who Masturbate The Most — And What Turns Them On
Self-love is their thing.
weheartit I remember the days when, if you even said this word, a world of people would duck for cover hoping to not be identified as someone who would indulge. As if this is some sordid act that we must be eternally ashamed for participating in.
Why else do our hands fall at exactly the same level as our crotches? Funny, how when we lie in bed at night, it seems a natural thing to sort of... accidentally touch the place that also happens to feel great being touched.
Face it: you masturbate. And not only do you masturbate, you’re a freaking professional at it. You’ve got your spank-bank of images in your mind, plus your wild assortment of personal kink fantasies all set up.
Nobody else is needed, because, well... you’ve taken this in hand and you know how to get the job done.
Also, who hasn’t heard this line from women over the last few years: “No man satisfies me as well as I satisfy me.” Oh hey, yeah, happens to be a truth. So, while it is a known fact that everybody likes to get down and dirty with a little sexy "me time," there may actually be a few individuals who break the bank, so to speak, when it comes to frequency, desire and masturbatory interest.
According to astrology and maybe even your daily horoscope, there are zodiac signs who like to masturbate... and then there are those who are much too shy about it. Where do you fall?
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Big, whopping masturbators, these folks. They don’t call Aries the Ram for nothing, as this is the crowd that can’t get enough of private vibrator play. Aries loves sex, with or without a partner.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
You may not hear from Taurus for a while, as half of their life is pretty much dedicated to getting off — alone, in private, in total abandon and joy. Yep. Taurus is a natural loner, if you know what I mean.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
The truth? Gemini would PREFER masturbation to sex with another, any day of the week. They are inspired to partner up with themselves and have no shame about it. Why bother with nasty, messy people when you have a clean, understanding hand to do the trick?
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Your Cancer masturbator is not just into this as an act, they’re into it as an art. I’d even go as far as to say a “healing art.” Yes, Cancers like to take masturbation holidays, locking themselves in their bedrooms for days at a time... for "science."
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Masturbation is fun for Leo, but being that Leo is the biggest show off of ‘em all, Leo would prefer to have you WATCH them masturbate. And while you’re there, get at that thang yourself. Two’s company, even if you’re working on your own subject matter.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo would rather not tend to themselves, though when they do apply themselves, they do it very, very well. Virgo wants to be pleased by someone else, and masturbation seems a step down for them, which is why they avoid it. However, that doesn’t mean they avoid it altogether.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
The happiest loner of the zodiac say YES YES YES to the love affair of hand and genital. No shame here, and no reason to not indulge fully. Bring out the sex toys and the lube, because Libra’s got ways to make alone-time into super-happy-time.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Masturbation was invented by Scorpio. Always one to go for the gold when it comes to pleasure, insatiable Scorpio would be your go-to person in the know if you ever want to learn the wicked ways of Olympic masturbating. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
If Sagittarius has their way, the only sex they’d ever have would be with themselves. And isn’t that just such a good thing?
Sag has enough imagination to cover the entire zodiac, and in bed with their own selves, it’s like "anything goes." And for Sag, the pleasure just comes and comes. It’s good to be Sag when it comes to self-pleasuring.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
We all masturbate, and if you say you don’t, you’re lying. Having said that, Capricorn lies. They, for some reason, don’t like anyone to think they’re getting their rocks off alone. But the truth is, they are getting their rocks off alone. And then some.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Another professional masturbator, right here, folks. When your imagination is as rich as an Aquarian, you too would spend the day in bed with yourself. Can’t say no to a good thing, and Aquarius knows exactly where to find that good thing. And guess what? You’re not involved.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Ever hear of crying after sex? Well, if you want the full on ugly, try masturbating and then bawling your eyes out. This is the Piscean way. Touchy-touchy, thinkee-thinkee, regrety-regrety — then, the ugly sobs. Sex is a lonely, sad experience for Pisces when it’s done alone. TOO BAD!
Ruby Miranda is a New Yorker who learned astrology, I Ching and all types of cartomancy and numerology from her crazy, gypsy mother. She currently writes for a wide range of esoteric publications.