How To Use Dating Apps Like Tinder And Bumble To Actually Meet Good Men In Person
Swipe smart, ladies.
With so many dating apps and online dating sites flourishing these days, you would think that finding your perfect match in the modern era would be a whole lot easier. If you simply download and learn how to use Tinder or Bumble, your soulmate is bound to be out there somewhere, ready to swipe right on your profile at any given moment... right?
If you’re a woman trying to meet a man, chances good that are you will get a lot of matches right away. I know a ton of guys who swipe right on every single profile in batches and then go back and delete as they sift through their matches later.
Yes, that's weird and rude, but let's be real. Most guys are weird and rude. (To any fellas reading, I know, I know: #notallmen. Sure thing.)
If you’re having trouble connecting with the kind of man you want, here are 6 tips on how to use Tinder and Bumble in a way that actually leads to dating someone awesome.
1. More than one photo is a must.
You know how you look weird in some photos and gorgeous in others? A lot of people feel that one picture isn’t enough to know how a person looks. Go for a variety of photos, from headshots to full body pictures. Look into using Tinder’s algorithm to make your photo with the most right swipes the first picture shown. You might be surprised by what the winner is! Mine was a full body shot taken from so far away you couldn’t see much of my face or personality, but it did show my figure. And the photo was taken in Venice, so it’s clear that I enjoy traveling!
2. Group photos are great but make sure they're not the only ones you use.
A truly dedicated swiper might go through each picture and try to figure out who the common denominator is, but most of us will just get frustrated and swipe left. To be honest, only having group photos is a deal breaker for me. Who are you? Do you ever spend time alone?
3. Don’t go overboard with cliches.
For guys, this means not only using photos of you with a fish, a gun, or a truck. For the ladies, this means not solely relying on selfies and quirky Snapchat filters (which, honestly, most guys don't seem to like anyway). Include a candid shot or a picture from a recent night out or event, something to really showcase your amazing personality!
4. Write a real bio.
Yes, some people are on these apps just to scope out the hotties, but a good bio can make someone who was on the fence not only swipe right but actually want to meet you in person! Short, sweet, and clever is generally the way to go. Also, if you have public accounts and feel comfortable doing so, link your Spotify and Instagram.
Warning: F**kboys will start DMing you on Instagram as a result, but just ignore them. Doing this allows the good ones to get a glimpse into your life and personality.
5. Be (authentically) clever and original.
Remember how I said a short, sweet, and clever bio is a must? Well, it’s not clever if you’re copying and pasting some quote that everyone else has in their bio too. I’ve seen the same “Time Person of the Year 2006” joke 800 times. (FYI: If you’re lucky enough never to have encountered this one, the person of the year in 2006 was you. As in all of us.) Come up with your own witticisms! Sure, not everyone is funny, but that doesn’t mean you can’t insert something unique that’ll catch someone’s eye. Attract fellow nerds by including what Harry Potter house you’re in. Share a quirky fact about that tattoo you got when you were drunk. Do something people don’t see in every single profile!
P.S. Guys, please stop it with the “I’m 6 feet tall because, apparently, height matters.” You know it matters to some people, just like you might prefer women with either plus-size or athletic bodies. You can usually tell someone’s build from a photo, but you can't always tell their height. That’s why people ask questions.
6. Try a group date option.
Even though Tinder Social was discontinued in August 2017, after an unsuccessful one year run, you can still suggest to a promising guy that you might have friends who will like each other too, and why not meet up for group hang! You never, you could each end up hitting it off with each other's sexy friends instead! Plus, hanging out in a group is generally safer and helps you to act more like your genuine self than your might when you are along in an awkward first date situation.
BONUS: Here's some extra advice to follow once you match with a guy you really dig.
- Don’t be afraid to message first (obviously on Bumble this is your only choice, but that doesn't mean you should hold back on Tinder, OkCupid, or any of the others).
- Don’t be one of those, “Oh, so you’re not going to talk to me?” people, either. If someone swiped right on you but then ignores your message, maybe they thought you were cute but found your message to be boring. Maybe they’re just busy and will be back later. Move TF on.
- Don’t be lazy and rely on gifs. We can all see what the most popular gifs are and therefore tell whether you thought about something funny to send or just randomly clicked on whatever came up first.
- Consider saying more than, “Hi! What's up?” Shoot your shot. Throw a cheesy pick up line out there. Ask a question you absolutely need to know the answer to before you're willing to meet someone. Just, for the love of God, don’t share some “witty” copy-and-paste you found online. You know, the same one you’ve been sharing with every other match.
Good luck and happy dating, hooking up, or whatever it is you’re looking for!
RELATED: Why Guys Ghost Women They Talk To Online — Before They Even Meet (According To Men On Reddit)
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