How To Handle It When Your Partner's Penis Is Too Big
It's actually a fairly common phenomenon.
weheartit While men may think having a big penis is a great thing, there is such a thing as being too big. If your man is too big, it's all about foreplay and lubrication to loosen you up, making your skin and vagina more supple so it can be stretched without ripping.
"If you don't like lube, you can try coconut oil or spit: yours or his," advises dating expert Laurel House. Make sure you start slow and take your time.
Quickies generally aren't a good idea for a bigger guy.
"If you do want to have a quickie or your man isn't into much foreplay, there's no shame in prepping yourself," says House. A little pre-sex masturbation can help warm and get you wet. Just don't take yourself all the way. Let your guy get in on that action.
Get yourself a large dildo or vibrator to practice with.
"A couple of times a week, when you are relaxing on your own (or with your man), lube that vibe up and start pleasuring yourself. Masturbation is a great way to learn what you like, show yourself some love, and stretch yourself out," says House. Oral sex and old-school fingering are great options for women with over-sized men, too.
So, still curious about how to handle it when your partner's penis is too big during sex? Here are a few sex positions and tips to make things easier.
1. Change things up.
"Change positions so that you control the depth of penetration (e.g., get on top), or try shallow positions like face-to-face standing," says sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly, author of The New Sex Bible. Also, wear a not-so-deep donut or two which sits at the base of the penis to limit penetration.
Dr. Jess says shallow sex is perfect for larger penises. Just as we erroneously assume that bigger is always better, so do we often mistaken deeper penetration as a universal ideal.
"The reality, however, is that shallow penetration can be more desirable for a number of reasons. Not only are the most sensitive nerve endings of the vagina located in the outer third of the canal (sometimes referred to as the orgasmic platform) but other orgasm hot-spots like the G-spot and the frenulum of the penis light up with pleasure at a shallow depth."
2. Prep beforehand.
“If your partner is well-hung, foreplay and lube are a must,” says Lovehoney sexpert Jess Wilde. “The wetter she is both naturally and with lube, the easier and more fun it will be to have sex that’s comfortable for both parties. Always keep lube handy, such as Enjoy Water-Based Lubricant, which is super silky and will last the whole session.”
3. Keep things shallow.
"You don’t have to don your Durango boots to climb on top for what’s known as the Cowgirl position," says Bonnie Winston, Celebrity Matchmaker and Relationship Expert. "I personally call it 'riding the wave' because a woman can keep the thrusts as shallow (or deep) as she wants, like when learning to surf. And when 'riding the wave,' remember that wetness counts, so keep plenty of lube handy."
4. Try the T-Bone sex position.
"As your bodies form the shape of a tee, this unique angle creates a sensation like no other with minimal exertion on your part," says Dr. Jess. Perfect for those lazy Wednesday nights when you need your sexual fix, but don’t have the energy to hang from the chandelier.
She lies on her back with her knees bent and her feet spread apart flat on the mattress. He lies on his side at a right angle to her body (to form the top of the tee) and slides his body under the bridge of her bent legs. She presses her hips up slightly as he slides in from beneath her. As they rock and thrust in rhythm, their fingers can dance over her clit or they can hold hands and gaze into one another’s eyes.
A slight hip tilt by either partner can create a wave of new sensations as the head of his penis alternates between thrusting against her G-spot and pressing against her lower wall to provide anal stimulation. This not only changes her experience of the T-Bone, but he also benefits from the different textures of her upper and lower vagina against his highly sensitive head and corona.
Ladies, cross your legs and squeeze! Not only will you awaken the core muscles involved in orgasm, but as you squeeze his penis between your thighs, the snug fit will create extra friction against his shaft and your tender inner lips.
5. Try the "Butt Buddies" sex position.
"This challenging position has it all: the excitement of rear-entry, the mystery of 'blind sex,' the sensual bumping of butts and the option for dual stimulation of her G-Spot," says Dr. Jess.
She lies flat on her stomach with her head in the upper right corner of the bed. He lies on his stomach on top of her with his head kitty-corner to hers in the lower left corner of the bed. His legs stretch out on either side of her and their positioning deprives them of eye contact and exchange of facial expressions to facilitate blind sex. They both pop their hips upward far enough for his penis to angle backward comfortably and slide inside.
Gradually, they slide away from one another simultaneously and then back toward one another allowing their butts to bump gently as they find their perfect rhythm.
This position leaves the possibilities for alterations and additions wide open. Ladies, slide your hand down to your lower abs and press on your G-spot from the outside for dual stimulation. Men, kink it up and press his feet into her cheeks or the side of her neck as he plays with subjugating dirty talk.
Take advantage of the distance between you to lock into a hot, teasing role in which you’re perfect strangers enjoying a casual but raunchy one-night stand. A more challenging option involves popping your hips up a bit higher and trying the position during anal sex.
"To facilitate entry, be sure to angle your hips upward so that his penis does not bend at an uncomfortable angle. Since penises can and do break, take care to alter the position. The foot is the most common fetishized object in North America, so if you derive pleasure from having your own feet worshiped or enjoy fondling your lover’s feet, don’t be shy! Kiss, fondle, suck and caress away as you tap into your most carnal desires," says Dr. Jess.
6. Try the Rock Away sex position, a variation of the Scissor position.
"Rock Away is the ideal rear-entry position for the often elusive mutual orgasm during intercourse. He gets a tight grip around his shaft and she benefits from a frenzy of friction against the entire length of her vulva," says Dr. Jess.
He sits upright against the headboard with his legs outstretched. She lies on her left side in his lap with her butt pressed against his penis. She scissors her legs open and slides her left side under his right leg to scissor it between her thighs.
Leaning on her left elbow for support, she slides back onto his penis as his hands guide her hips. She can pop over him back and forth, round her hips in an elliptical motion, twist sideways with care, or slide up and down to grind against his pelvic bone for extra friction. You can transition to the challenging Side-Saddle Cowgirl position if he lies back and she sits upright into a squat or half-splits position.
"Rock Away leaves both of his hands and one of hers free to roam as they please. He can take control by grabbing her by the hips or reach around to fondle her breasts and stroke her clitoris. She can reach down to rub herself or allow her fingers to wander around his legs, feet, chest, and shoulders," says Dr. Jess.
7. Give the Titillation sex position a chance.
"This position is designed for uninhibited lovers and women who love to flaunt their best assets in his face. Though the depth of penetration may be shallower than other positions, he surely won’t complain as she shoves her nipples between his eager lips and rounds her hips around his head and shaft," says Dr. Jess.
He lies on his back on the ground and pops his hips up as he slides his legs onto a bed or couch. Since much of his weight will be supported by his shoulder, he may want to place a few pillows beneath his neck and back for support. She climbs atop on all fours allowing her breasts to hang or press into his face. She can control the angle, depth, motion, and speed of penetration as well as the degree of contact between his face and her chest.
Ladies, take complete control and tie his hands above his head as you tease him into an undeniable frenzy: dangle your breasts just out of reach of his lips and pop your lips (the ones between your legs) just over the head of his penis. Men, spread her butt cheeks with your open palms and tease her ass by running a finger along her perineum between her fourchette and pucker.
8. Finally, give Upright Missionary sex position a try.
"The ultimate shallow-penetration position, the Upright Missionary comes naturally and offers the benefits of intense eye contact, full upper-body views and one of the tightest grips designed for bigger, better orgasms," says Dr. Jess.
Apply lube to her vulva and inner thighs. She lies on her back with her legs together and he kneels (or squats) on top. He holds the base of his penis as he slides inside and she squeezes her thighs together for extra friction.
Ladies, wrap your thumb and index finger around the base of his shaft and move your hand in rhythm with his thrusts to form a human penis ring and intensify his orgasm.
Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyles writer. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly. Visit her on Twitter or email her at alywalansky@gmail.com.