4 Things People Who Have Great Orgasms Do (That The Rest Of Us Ignore)
So let's get this party started!
weheartit A lot of factors go into having a fabulous orgasm.
That’s what I believe we really should’ve been taught in sex ed — “Class, today we are going to learn how to have and give a fabulous orgasm” — instead of a three-day training course on how to put a condom on a banana while singing the praises of how abstinence is best.
I truly feel that an orgasm a day would make the world a much friendlier place to live in.
But since Coach Carr (AKA my own high school sex education teacher) failed to fully prepare us for satisfaction in the bedroom, I'm here to educate you.
Having a powerful orgasm isn’t just about your partner's technique; it’s about being you being totally INTO it.
And of course, there are many types of orgasms, ranging anywhere from muffled moans into the sheets to full-body convulsions, but having a truly strong, fabulous orgasm of any kind leaves you feeling like your partner took a piece of your soul with them in the very best possible way.
So here are four tips for having more powerful orgasms you most certainly did not learn back in sex ed.
1. Make eye contact.
Lesson number one: eye contact is everything. Staring into your partner’s eyes while they’re thrusting into you or pleasuring you in any way builds the intensity between you. Making eye contact while you’re downstairs on your partner and watching them receive pleasure from your hard work is so gratifying that it may just make your whole body tingle.
And NOTHING is sexier than maintaining eye contact while you’re both climaxing. It’s like you acquire tunnel vision and suddenly the squeaking bed, your roommate who's within earshot and the shittiest of days ever all suddenly slip away because you are completely tuned into the present moment only.
(If you’re in a position that prevents you from making eye contact, mirrors work miracles for keeping the seduction and eye contact factor strong.)
2. Linger on the build up.
I’m not only talking foreplay, but the sexual tension that builds even before you get to rip each other’s clothes off in the bedroom. Building up sexual anticipation will get you both super into it and bring you one step closer to reaching that stellar moment.
Of course, there will be times when you just have to get in a quickie before work or when you have sex out of convenience more than anything, but that feeling that you simply NEED to feel your partner right NOW — when you feel like you should probably change your panties before you walk into a public area — is a feeling that comes from extended arousal.
Maybe it’s some wine that makes you a little frisky. Or a make-out session that gets a little rough. Or some teasing and playing hard to get. Maybe you two have been out all night flirting and showing excessive PDA and can’t wait to get back to the bedroom. However it happens, when you get each other worked up over time, your body becomes more and more ready for orgasmic splendor.
3. Get VERY familiar with your partner's body.
Being familiar with your partner’s body and vice versa makes achieving the most amazing orgasms much easier. Knowing each other's specific likes, and especially that go-to spot on their body allows you both to stay in the mood as you go for it.
Sometimes, right before an orgasm, I get into this weird zone where I just want my partner to keep repeating a phrase I know will get me off. I also find it easier to make that almost-creepy, no-blinking eye contact with someone I’m familiar with rather than with a one night stand, because I know it won’t freak them out.
Being familiar with your partner also helps you know which buttons to press to create that build up and sexual tension to set the mood up. Know what they like you to wear, what music to have on and what kind of wine to pour so they can most easily shed any inhibitions along with their layers of clothes.
4. Know how to communicate in a way that works best for the two of you.
Some people like to listen to the natural sounds as you bump and grind, while others enjoy dirty talk and hearing their partner direct them to the promised land. Being familiar with your partner can help you feel more comfortable being open about what you want and how you want it.
I like calling my partner “Daddy” in the bedroom and a reoccurring phrase we use is “Daddy’s home!”
Then again, we’ve been together for over a year, so we are extremely familiar with and indulge in every one of our fantasies in order to have multiple orgasms each and every time.
Don't be afraid to be greedy for both of you, and to want you each to experience as many orgasms and the best sex you can possibly achieve. Forget that the rest of the world exists and get lost in the two of you, right here, right now.
The End Result
Your best orgasms can be acquired with a combination of any and all of these factors. Light some candles, put on a sexy music playlist and dim the lights. As long as you’re focused in on your partner and vice versa, your sex is bound to be intense.
And always remember this piece of advice: Sex is about the entirety of the act, not just the finale.
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