Will He Ghost You? Here’s How To Tell, Based On His Zodiac Sign
His astrological sign will pretty much spell it out for you.
The aftermath of being ghosted by a Tinder date is fairly similar to seeing a ghost in actual life. Despite the initial shock and utter confusion, you start to fear hitting up the same haunts (aka dating apps) for fear of encountering another sketchy ghoul again. You might even consult your horoscope for advice on the places to avoid.
But like those weird pieces of detection equipment paranormal experts use to find poltergeists, there are also ways to spot ghosts of the man bun-wearing, drunk-Tweeting, craft beer-drinking variety long before they have the chance to haunt your life: namely, through his zodiac sign.
Never been ghosted before? You're lucky, but check out the video below for a look at what it's like to be a victim of ghosting:
From overly emotional water signs to master-manipulating air signs, here are zodiac signs that will ghost you and why you shouldn't waste your time with them.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
From excitedly planning a second date to cradling your waist closer at the bar when he spots another dude checking you out, you’ll probably be raving to your girlfriends in the group chat about how well the date went on your way home. But beware: an Aries boy lives solely in the present, so consider any seemingly overzealous plans he’s made past 2 AM drunken pizza to be null and void. Of course, if you spot them out again, he’ll approach you like nothing’s happened and the cycle begins all over again.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
If shy, seemingly sweet Taurus stops texting you after a single or string of dates, it’s not because he didn’t like you. It’s because he’s inherently lazy and bullish, so some other poor soul in pursuit of him — who probably opted to blow up his phone with nudes — captured his attention ahead of you. Tender-hearted Taurus craves connection and stability, so his messed-up mind probably interpreted those boob pics as true love. Poor sap.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
For a Gemini guy, everything comes in pairs. While that double-trouble nature definitely applies to the fact that he’s juggling you with another girl, it also means he thinks he’s two steps ahead of you in life. So if he starts smirking when you can’t recall the first, middle and last names of each Game of Thrones character since the start of the series, you can all but guarantee he won’t be contacting you again. Of course, Geminis have been known to masturbate to their own reflection, so don’t spend too much time worrying that your wit isn’t up to par.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Despite slightly obnoxious ramblings about his ex and the latest Bon Iver record, a first date with a Cancer boy seems like a semi-success. After all, he did lay on the compliments about your eyes pretty heavily. But despite being a people-pleaser, Cancer’s also seriously conflicted, a self-loather and is completely self-absorbed. His twisted, emotional mind doesn’t want to hurt you by telling you he really wasn’t that into you, but in reality, he just doesn’t want to upset himself. Poor baby.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Self-loving Leo loves to talk about himself. His career, his hair, his last bowel movement — no topic is off-limits. So when you turn him down for sex, he will probably appear momentarily miffed. That is until he can find some other way to make the night advantageous for him. A cool career or fun new concert venue you have access to will definitely cause his ears to perk, so be careful what you reveal. He will gladly reappear out of ghostdom to snatch tickets you post on Facebook or ask you to pass on his resume to a colleague.
Read: 6 Brutal Truths About Loving A Leo, As Written By One
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
If a perfectionist Virgo suddenly went off the grid, you can assume one of three scenarios. First, you had a hangnail. Second? Your root re-growth was more than a half-inch. Lastly, your voice was too high-pitched. In any case, he likely came down with SRS (Sudden Repulsion Syndrome), where a tiny, inconsequential aspect of your personality or appearance made him want to gag. Good luck with that OCD problem, bro.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
For a shallow, beauty-obsessed Libra, there are no two ways around it: he didn’t think you were attractive enough for him. He can also go screw himself, TBH. So if he had some half-assed excuse for leaving midway through the first drink, or spent more time looking on his phone than at you, you can all but expect a no-show in your inbox tomorrow morning.
Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
If you were ghosted by a Scorpio boy, you likely assume he was just using you for sex. Which is entirely true, there’s no denying it. But that hard-shelled nature is just a facade; he’s actually a vulnerable, emotional wreck. Although he really, really liked you, he’s also scared that you’ll start to see that thumb-sucking, anxiety-sweating self underneath the peacocking. And his pride just won’t have that.
Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Despite being mostly well-intentioned, Sagittarius guys are also seriously stupid when it comes to dating. So when he sees you talking to your Mom over FaceTime and inserts himself in the frame suddenly or starts following your friends on social media and liking their posts, don’t take that as a sign of his adoration; think of it simply as one of how each zodiac sign ghosts you. He really, truly, and utterly just doesn’t have the wherewithal to realize those actions might be misconstrued for something else.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
If your super-superior, high horse-riding Capricorn date starts flinching his nose when you talk about your apartment’s recent rat infestation or the fact that you follow bands that have more than 500 views on their YouTube videos, cut your ties now, girl — he’s already made the decision to ghost you. He’s an inherent snob, so take solace in the fact that you only had to momentarily deal with his shallowness.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Sorry, there’s truly no way to tell if a head-in-the-clouds, aloof Aquarius (the original ghoster) is going to suddenly dump you. This is because they’re master communicators, doing and saying just about anything to win your affection in the moment. But they’re also concealing a twisted, totally confusing brain that’s hell-bent on manipulating the crap out of you.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces boys are emotional wrecks, but they’re also living in constant fear that they’re not good enough. So if you have a job, appearance or social life that obviously trumps his, take pride in that fact and don’t worry about his battered ego and continue to do you (despite the fact that he’s definitely not going to text you after this date).
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One
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