We Asked Women What They Really Think About Men Who Orgasm Too Fast
Dang, ladies.
Guys really worry about premature ejaculation.
It's a fact of life! Or rather, a fact of sex.
You know when you're having those days when you can tell it is going to be harder than usual for you to have an orgasm?
Men definitely can feel that way too. In some ways, men who suffer from premature ejaculation feel it a little bit more keenly because a lot of men are taught that they are being judged by their penises.
They aren't (for the most part), but this idea that a man who orgasms too fast during sex is going to destroy his chances at love still permeates all talk regarding sex, love, and dating.
I, for one, don't have a problem with a man who has premature ejaculation. In my opinion, if we're having sex and you orgasm right away, that's fine, provided you are willing to attend to my needs vis-a-vis an earth-shaking orgasm.
Sex is a lot like local politics: you scratch mine, I'll scratch yours.
Admittedly, I grew up in Providence, Rhode Island, an infamously corrupt city, but the analogy still applies.
To banish this notion that women universally hate all men who prematurely ejaculate, I checked in with some of the sex positive women in my life to get their take on the subject.
They were more than happy to help me bust through these taboos!
Ladies, how do you feel when a man prematurely ejaculate?
- "Don't care."
- " It's fine, Just don't throw a pity party. Can't stand the guys that are all "oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm the worst, don't hate me..." and then expect me to coddle them to sleep while my [vagina] is aching for anything."
- "Be willing to either start round 2 before the night is over or get me off with oral/manual stimulation. Bam! Problem solved. "
- "I don't care. It's not his fault, I'm sure it bothers him more than me, so getting upset would just be cruel. I take it as a compliment, really."
- "Don't care. My bf is fairly quick ( <10 min) and has a long recovery period. But unless we don't have time, he spends ages teasing and torturing me. I'd take this any day over a guy who takes an hour pounding away."
- "I hate it when the "pounding" goes on too long. I'd much rather have some digital simulation until I get there (which doesn't take long for me) then do it, then just do it and it only feel half as good but for longer. I'd rather both of us be close and then him to orgasm faster to be honest."
- "It doesn't bother me as long as I get to have an orgasm, too, either before or after his!"
- "Depends. If his [orgasm] means that the whole session is finished then i'd be unsatisfied and still turned on. luckily, most guys have a tongue and some fingers they can use for when their penis gives out. just because he's "finished" doesn't mean he's finished."
- "It can be frustrating."
- "If it's sometimes, it's fine. I don't believe that sex ends just because he [orgasmed], there are other things you can do."
- "Personally for me, if my partner came too fast every time and didn't have a quick turn around, it would be a deal breaker for me.
- "It's flattering and turns me on actually. I don't feel frustrated if I don't [orgasm] during sex; it isn't all about the orgasm
- "I don't care if he finishes early if he's still willing to make sure I finish as well (with his mouth, fingers, a sex toy, whatever)."
- "I don't know what's considered "too early." My boyfriend and I usually go at least 5 minutes for PIV, sometimes 10. We have gone longer, but it's not usual. I have no idea how this compares to the norm."
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- "I've never had an issue with it. However, I'm a lucky girl who can get off multiple times in just a short amount of time. I start to orgasm almost as soon as he puts it in and it doesn't stop until he does. Some of the best sex I've had were quickies. I think the urgency sometimes makes it, really. A quick, passionate romp is always nice."
- "It happens. There are many approaches to it — there can be a lot of foreplay, the man can make sure the gal orgasms before penetration, he can ejaculate prior to intercourse so he lasts longer during, the couple can take it slow, a cockring is sometimes helpful, the couple can have intercourse more frequently, and so on. Not the end of the world."
- "My ex [orgasmed] so quick even when we would go up to 3 times in a night, it was REALLY frustrating. He also wasn't concerned with getting me off either. Fast forward to my current boyfriend and it's like the opposite problem, it's like he's been training for an ironman for sex or something jeez. However, I would say it's better now because he is pretty receptive to my needs too and is way more kinkier :). So if stamina isn't your thing just try other things! It's not the end all, at all."