How Long It Takes For A Guy To Regret Breaking Up With You (And How To Speed That Up)
It's usually not a matter of he'll regret losing you, but when.
Sjale / Shutterstock Being dumped hurts for a number of reasons, the most obvious being that this person you wanted to stay with no longer wants you. It’s normal to want to fight back against breaking up with someone you love or to just make your now-ex feel bad.
If you’ve ever been dumped, you have probably been wondering what you could do to make him miss you or what makes men regret breaking up with you in the first place.
How long does it take for a guy to regret breaking up with you?
The answer is different for everyone, but many men will experience a pang of regret within about a month to six weeks after breaking up with you.
Dumper’s remorse, as I call it, is very real. It happens to pretty much everyone who ever dumps a person. Even guys who are totally sure that the girl they left wasn’t for them feel it, and will even question themselves if they actually did the right thing.
Why do guys typically regret breaking up with their girlfriends?
Research suggests that men may regret breaking up more than women because men typically compete for mates and breaking up means losing their mate to a competitor. Men's sexual jealousy and fear of cuckoldry may be the root cause of their desire to maintain pair bonds, which can lead to dangerous behavior such as mate guarding and abuse. Losing a mate through intrasexual competition can cause significant distress for men in the short-term. Women, on the other hand, tend to recover faster from breakups and often report personal growth and increased relationship intelligence as a result.
Understanding why he may regret breaking up can offer you insight into how men approach relationships. This self-reflection can lead to personal growth for you and, as a bonus, give him some insights into what he has lost.
How to make a man regret losing you.
1. Get a makeover.
Khloe Kardashian’s Revenge Body show may have been controversial, but there’s definitely a nugget of truth to it.
If guys see you looking like a million dollars after they dump you, they’re going to get a pang of dumper’s remorse. After all, no guy wants to admit to dumping a girl who turned into a 10.
2. Keep your composure.
This one is really hard to do, and trust me when I say that even I, a relationship writer, fail at it. As hard as it is to do, it’s also part of what makes men regret breaking up with you and why it’s so impressive to guys.
Guys expect to see a girl fall apart when they dump them, so if you don’t do that, it makes them realize that maybe, just maybe, they were the ones who lost out.
3. Get his friends on your side.
If you were always kind and sweet to him, and if his friends knew you well, then you better believe his friends will probably notice him dumping you. Most people will be very aware of how hard it is to get a good partner. They may even ask him what the deal was if they themselves liked you enough.
His friends hold a lot of power over him, so don’t be surprised if they end up sparking his interest in taking you back.
4. Make more money than he does.
I call this the “Taylor Swift principle." Everyone knows that the pop singer had a bunch of guys who treated her poorly, several of whom had dumped her. She’s now a multimillionaire who enjoys a luxury mansion, cars, and whatever her heart desires.
If you don’t think they feel remorseful about dumping her, you’re very wrong.
5. Succeed at work.
This typically (but not always) goes hand-in-hand with making more money. Success is sexy, even for men who are too scared to date independent women. The truth is that it shows that you’re a winner, and people like to win.
6. Have your friends back you up.
This is a particularly good way to make guys who might not have been as popular as you wonder if they screwed up. Popularity is one of those things that just helps every little facet of your life, including breakups.
If they see a lot of people coming to your defense or coming to hang out with you, their choice to leave will hurt that much more over time.
7. Meet (and date) new people.
Once you break up, you are free. As in, you are free to mingle and meet new people.
Most guys really begin regretting their decision to dump someone when they see them dating others, meeting others, and just going out and having fun. When they see you doing that, they usually end up realizing that they may have missed out on fun with you.
8. Cut off contact.
Going no contact is one of the most popular suggestions for people who are going through a breakup and want to get their ex back. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, and when he realizes what life is like without you, he’ll most likely begin rethinking his decisions.
9. Stop doing favors for him.
Stop paying his phone bill. Stop thinking it’s okay to drop off meals and give him money. Stop agreeing “to hang out” because he’s alone. It’s not okay. This is giving him every reason to think that he’s better off dating someone else because you’re coming off as a doormat.
By removing your resources from his life, you make it clear that he’s gonna be broke for a while after you’re done with him.
10. Give it time.
Sadly, most men will not instantly regret the hurt they’ve doled out on you. If you want them to feel remorse, you will need to give it time. Usually, after around one to six months, they will start to regret dumping you.
However, what I’ve noticed in my own life is that the only time they ever feel remorse often coincides with the time that you’re over them. Hopefully, your mileage will vary.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats.