Why Do Guys Like Fingering Girls? As Told By 6 Men
They mean well, I swear.
getty I've already asked women how they feel about the age-old act of finger foreplay, also known as "fingering." But when I asked six men, why do guys like fingering girls?, their answers weren't exactly what I was expecting.
While women weren't nearly as excited as I thought they would be about fingering, the men sort of won me over with their responses.
As for the ladies, it all comes down to bad fingering experiences. It's important to remember that bad sex is just a part of the dating game — you win some, you lose some; it's not fair but it is, unfortunately, part of life.
That said, one nail-biting (or should I say, nail clawing) experience shouldn't be enough to make you give up on fingering.
These six men serve as a gentle reminder that when done right, fingering can be quite pleasurable — and for most of them, that's all they're after: your pleasure. (Seriously, they're practicing on fruits.)
Think this type of foreplay opens the door for communication, which is what seems to be missing since so many (and by so many, I mean too many) women could do without fingering.
Why do guys like fingering girls?
The rare few guys who said they aren't exactly looking to please you are kind of looking out for themselves, but you'll see just what I mean.
The key is finding a guy who cares about your pleasure and will be open to feedback when he doesn't quite measure up to your expectations — like some of the gentlemen below — because believe me when I say they're the G.O.A.T.
Here are six men being blatantly honest about how they feel about fingering their women:
1. It's a way to test arousal.
"I have fingered every one of the 60+ women I have slept with: It is interesting, isn't it, that we finger a woman as part of foreplay? I think part of the reason is that subconsciously, we are trying to see if there's anything strange inside, such as herpes sores or the like.
I think also that we are trying to see how wet she is. Obviously, the wetter she is, the more we feel that we are appealing to her. If she's totally dry, then it might mean she's not aroused, and on top of that, we might hurt her if we have intercourse with her."
2. They assume it's what women enjoy.
"Because women like it."
3. They want to turn a woman on.
"Being bluntly honest, it was the way I was shown and told to arouse. I am fortunate that all of the women I’ve been with have found it to be arousing.
Playing with the clitoris and inserting my fingers seemed to pleasure both them and me, so I never stopped to consider if they liked it or not. I thought it was the primary way to arouse a woman, besides oral stimulation, which is very good too for me."
4. She's going to do it anyway.
"Oh, that’s easy. We do it because if we didn’t, women would be doing it to themselves.
Most women, when they masturbate, start at the clitoris, but after a while, they dip one or two fingers (sometimes even more) down into themselves for a few strokes and then back out to the clitoris.
I have always found that the best way to turn a woman on is to watch what she likes to do to herself and then copy it."
5. Men finger women to 'test' her vagina.
"It's called the finger test. Before we go any further, I finger a woman to see if there are any weird odors I should know about, but obviously, this is not every woman."
6. It's foreplay.
"I believe using my hands to stimulate a woman is a very important part of foreplay and lovemaking, but I wouldn't even call it fingering, which does conjure up thoughts of nervous high school experimentation. I can't think of a lover who would characterize it as weird or unnecessary — if it is done properly.
It's just part of an overall highly enjoyable experience. I believe it enhances the overall experience and provides enjoyment beyond that typically possible solely through intercourse or oral stimulation.
Here are a few reasons:
Women have different types of orgasms (despite potential disagreement by so-called 'researchers'), and certain of those types require stimulation that is sometimes best provided by one or more fingers, especially G-spot orgasms and squirting orgasms.
With his hand a man can stimulate multiple areas at once, so with one hand the clitoris, the G-spot, the vaginal walls, and the anus (if she is comfortable with that) can all be manipulated.
When a woman uses her hand or a vibrator to masturbate, the clitoris can become desensitized, which can require greater stimulation to bring her to orgasm than can be easily applied through intercourse or oral.
Lubrication is important, and the vagina is a good source of lubricant for the fingers to provide stimulation to other areas, like the clitoris and the nipples.
From what I have learned, orgasmic meditation is a technique that primarily (solely?) uses the fingers to provide stimulation.
If you think about it, typically a woman masturbates by using her fingers, perhaps more by rubbing her clitoris than by penetration, and perhaps helped by a vibrator, but usually, fingers are involved. If a woman is of the opinion that being fingered is unnecessary, then maybe she is unusually sensitive and it is uncomfortable for her, but most likely she has never had someone properly touch her with his hands."
Do girls like to get fingered?
We asked a number of real women for their opinions.
But overall, it's difficult for women to separate fingering from the juvenile stuff we were doing in high school, so we forget that it can be really good foreplay, if and when the man doing it cares and thinks it through in the way that these men have done.
Common mistakes men make during finger foreplay are not clipping their nails, inserting more than two fingers, and just shoving their fingers in. According to women, it feels good when it's sensual and sexy, not panicky and rushed. They need to be warmed up, so take it slow, guys.
Or, didn't you see the PowerPoint presentation from one of the guys above?
Kiarra Sylvester, MEd, is a frequent contributor to YourTango, the founder of Black Girl Book Collective, and a sex educator on a mission to decolonize Black women’s sexuality. Through her NPO, she gets to read and introduce Black, queer literature to Black girls in hopes that when she doesn't have the words to help them advocate for themselves, the words of Lorde, Walker, Butler, and Angelou will be there to guide them.