13 Men Reveal What Makes A Woman 'Boring'
Why men may lose interest in you.
yorkfoto, Dean Drobot | Canva A relationship isn't all about the intimacy; it's also about companionship. And if your partner doesn't know how not to be boring, that's not going to work. We've all been there: you are on a date and there's nothing to talk about. They'll stare at their phone, the menu, their wine glass — anything but you. And when they do finally speak, they kind of say nothing at all. But a lot of men have a really strong feeling about what makes women boring, and if they sense it, they can't proceed with her.
For most men, it's simply not having a life. Sure, they want you to be into them and their interests but have something going on in your own life. Care about your job, your hobby, your dog, and your friends. That way you have something interesting to bring to the table on your next date. Forget the traditional dating advice. Instead, here's what makes women boring, according to men themselves.
Here 13 men reveal what makes a woman boring:
1. She doesn't try new things
"My motto is to discover, learn, and experience life. I want to learn something no matter how trivial. So a woman who just wants to punch the clock and never deviate from her everyday routine would bore me. I like a woman who has an open mind and wants to challenge herself and me in discovering new things intellectually, socially, culturally, and intimately. Someone who thinks they know it all and has no interest in expanding their mind would bore me. I like someone who embraces new experiences and is not afraid to get out of their comfort zone."
2. She just doesn't fit with me
"I find no particular trait 'makes' someone boring, it's just the 'absence' of something you're looking for. An entire human consciousness can't be boring in general, only boring to you."
3. She doesn't listen
"It's the give and take of relationships where women see I'm good at listening but then never actually listen or allow me to talk or vent."
4. She takes on my personality
"Another boring female thing? Ciphers. Meaning that they take on your personality interests and likes. If I wanted to date myself, I'd date myself."
5. She doesn't initiate intimacy on the first date
"A woman who is attracted to a man but won't be intimate with them on a first date when they are eventually going to do it anyway... What are you waiting for? Boring."
6. She only wants to spend time with me
"Ironically, what makes women boring to me is only wanting to spend time with me doing traditional couple things. I prefer someone who wants to spend time with other people, both with me or without me, and always has something interesting going on. As long as it's not an affair!"
7. She has no stories to tell
"What makes a woman boring? Lack of depth, work, siblings, memories, and current movies are all great and can make for great conversation, but are not necessarily stimulating. Motivations, personality traits, things learned (or not), character's perspective or history make for non-boring (though that's probably true of men too)."
8. She never stops talking about herself
"A woman who talks for 40 minutes about themselves on a date? That's boring."
9. Her text messages are bland
"The most boring thing about some women is when they fail to be engaging in conversation, especially over text. There’s nothing worse than matching with someone, then messaging, only getting bland one or two-word responses. A woman might be fun and exciting, but if she can’t express it by engaging the guys she meets in conversation, whether in person or over text, she’ll come across as boring."
10. There's nothing unique about her
"While everyone wants to date someone 'normal,' most guys want the women they meet to be at least somewhat unique. Liking dogs, listening to popular radio stations, watching Netflix, and rooting for the local sports team don’t make a person special. Men appreciate women who blaze a unique path in life and can express that. Women shouldn't be afraid to let their authentic selves shine through."
11. She's glued to her phone
"While a woman might have an exciting life on Instagram or be someone special in a virtual world if she can't keep off of her phone in real life, she'll come across as boring. No guy wants to have to constantly deal with a woman who can't put her phone down long enough to enjoy real-life adventures."
12. Every conversation is negative
"The one thing that always wears me down and has me reaching for the eject button are women who find a way to complain (or just generally bring negative energy) about everything. I understand that misery loves company and that complaining is easy/relatable common ground. But there is a point that I realize 'Wow, she doesn’t have one good thing to say about anything.' And instantaneously, I know exactly what is going to come out of her mouth before she even says it. Curiosity is attractive. Negativity is boring."
13. She doesn't have hobbies of her own
"It becomes incredibly boring when I become a partner's hobby. Some likely guys are okay dating a groupie and I appreciate wanting someone who is your number one fan. However, not having interests other than your partner becomes stale very fast. Being interested and passionate about things (as long as they're not some basic interests) makes a person tremendously interesting."
Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyle writer who focuses on health, wellness, and relationships. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications.