The 'Simba' Is A Sexual Act That MIGHT Ensure He Never Calls You Again
Or he'll laugh. Could go either way.
weheartit If you never want to see a guy again, you might want to "Simba" him. Come on, guys can get clingy too, so if you’re just down for a casual sex session and don’t want him to call, you might want to know how to "Simba."
That’s right, Simba, like from The Lion King. Except in this version, it's WAY more vulgar.
So, what is Simbaing? When you’re having sex with a guy and he pulls out to cum on you, don’t let him wipe up the mess right away. Instead, take your thumb, dab it in that warm, slimy pool on your thigh, and then slowly wipe it across his forehead. As you’re doing it, stare him straight in the eyes and whisper "SIIIIIIIIIIIIMBA." Make it nice and drawn out. The creepier, the better.
As an alternative to whispering, you can say, “Everything the cum touches is mine.” Take your pick and get ready to creep him out, piss him off, or send him into a fit of laughter.
The whole idea is pretty hilarious to me, so I decided to ask a couple of guys what they thought about Simbaing. I asked some male friends what they would do, and this is what they had to say about this incredibly strange sex act.
1. I'd laugh uncontrollably.
"If one was looking to perfect that technique, I'd suggest the girl use her own cum as it's better than having my own on my face."
2. I'd never contact that girl again.
"I would say, 'what the f*ck?' and then go wipe it off. I wouldn’t ever talk to her again. If it was my long-time girlfriend who did that, I would kind of laugh, still say, 'what the f*ck?' and tell her to never do it again."
3. It depends if it's a casual hookup or a relationship.
"If we were in a long-term relationship, anything goes. If it was a one-night stand, I would ask her to leave. If I was at her house, I would leave, but only if it was before 4 AM."
4. That's something that wouldn't kill the mood.
"Brilliant question! I have already cum, so it doesn’t exactly kill the mood. Plus, Hakuna Matata means no worries for the rest of your days. It appears to me this is a problem of philosophy.”
5. It's gross, but hilarious.
“I would laugh and think it was funny whether she was a one-night stand or a long-term girlfriend.”
It’s really a toss-up because, with the varying answers, Simbaing could either work for you or against you, depending what you’re trying to accomplish. But if you really hate a guy that you just had sex with, it would be pretty fun to Simba him just to see what he does.
Hakuna Matata.