Pubic Hair Stencils Exist Because You Can't Be Sad When Your Pubes Look Happy!
Or something like that...
Have you ever spent hours on your hair trying out new up-dos and trimming your bangs to make yourself look perfect?
And then you think, "Hmm, too bad I can't make my pubes look perfect, too!"
Considering I haven't been able to set eyes upon my own vulva since 2007 as it stays neatly tucked beneath my rolls of fat, I personally have never had that thought. However, if you have, you're in luck, my friend!
Because now a Japanese-based company, Ravia, is selling pubic hair stencils.
All of your (childhood?) dreams have now been answered with their variety of four stencil-shape options. You can choose to trim your very own bush into a triangle, natural, square, or heart.
Ravia
According to the company's site, you simply slap on the shape of your choice on your lady bits and trim (or weed whack) away.
The velcro-like gripping fibers on the back of each stencil magically adhere to your pubes without actually sticking on, you don't end up with an unintentional bonus Brazilian wax once you've completed your handiwork. This also means the stencils area reusable! (Slightly nasty, perhaps, but reusable nonetheless.)
These bad boys will run you between $7-8 dollars if you are ordering from the U.S., and, of course, that does not include the international shipping costs.
WHOMP WHOMP!
Now, some of you kooky kids may be wondering why these are necessary at all — but think about it!
If you're not one of the many women who currently keep their pubic area as hairless as a baby's bottom (did this just get weird? No, it was already there...), you are more than likely sporting a generic bush or possibly a slightly 80's-porn-esque landing strip.
How cool would it be to instead be able to walk around knowing that inside your pants — or your skirt, I don't judge — you have a secret treasure box for someone to find, if and when you so choose.
Honestly, it could bump up your self-esteem up to go about your daily business knowing you have a heart-shaped crotch — unless, of course, you decide to go for the triangle, in which case I just can't help thinking of the purple Teletubby ...
Either way, go forth my people — and have fun stenciling the shit out of your pubic hair!