The Secret To Loving Every Single Minute Of Giving Head

Some of you Meh, who am I kidding? Many of you will probably take offense to this theory, but I'm prepared to lay in the burning bed I'm currently making up.

There's no politically correct way to say this and even if there were, no amount of pussyfooting will lighten the load of hate mail that's likely to crawl into the comments of this read, so here it is:

If you don't have a desire to give a blowjob, the feelings aren't real for whoever it is that you're f*cking.

In other words: Get the hell out of this relationship and do it fast. 

I'm not implying you're a woman who casually enjoys giving a blowjob (which is okay too); I'm not even saying you've acted on these feelings.

But, I am saying this: If there's any real chemistry, your vagina will tingle at the mere thought of bringing that type of pleasure to your guy.

Perhaps it's even the thought of feeling powerful while bringing your strong man to his knees in weakness. And, when you're ready to act on those feelings, I don't think you'll regret it. 

Anytime I've had a bad experience with blowjobs, it was because it felt like an actual awful job, like a chore. It wasn't because he was too big or too tart or any other reason we tell ourselves oral sex is the worst.

It was simply because I didn't truly like him enough to find the pleasure in it.

I was one of the many women who forced myself to do it because I knew that was what he wanted. And, although Samantha Jones did give us fair warning admitting "they don't call it a job for nothing," it will feel more like the job your passionate about (where you barely work, ya know?) if you're particular about who you work on.

Those times when I've only given to receive or out of some sordid feeling of necessity for him, I felt worse about myself. I felt disgusted by the act.

That said, I've since started refusing to give blowjobs to any guy who implies (by disrespectfully nudging my head like a baby goat) or actually asks for one because it takes away from my sexual experience when I can't enjoy it — and that's regardless of how I may feel for him.

After all, respect is respect and that ain't it. 

In doing this I've found that when I really care about a guy (and his pleasure) I won't hesitate to go down for a blowjob, and because I plot on the penis instead of overthinking it — it's more than enjoyable. It becomes foreplay for me. 

A 2016 study found that although women enjoy giving oral sex less than men, they're more likely to give it. That's probably because we don't follow our gut (or vagina) when it comes to these things. 

If you don't get that feeling, you know, the vagina tingles, save your lip service for a guy who's deserving, a guy who will make you melt from the inside out.

You might be surprised how much more exhilarating pleasing him — with nothing expected in return — can be.

In fact, you might blow yourself to an orgasm as nearly 30 percent of women found that giving a blowjob was "very pleasurable" and, much to my surprise, of 55 percent of women, found it "somewhat pleasurable." That's 85% of women who dig giving blowjobs —and you should too!

So now, when friends ask me my feelings toward giving blowjobs, I hesitate a little before I explain that I love it, if and when it's the right guy.