7 Things Women Have Been Told By Men That Are TOTAL Bullsh*t

What's up, ladies? I’m writing this article to talk to you, women, directly. About... some bullsh*t.

Bullsh*t that you’ve been told. About dating. About love. About self-worth. Bullsh*t you’ve been told by stupid-ass men. Bullsh*t you’ve been told by other women. From years of talking to, dating, and befriending women, I feel it’s safe for me to tell you that all of the bullsh*t you’ve been fed about what men (and society in general) like, love, and loathe about women is... bullsh*t.

I’m going to dispel the bullsh*t and tell you the truth about women. I’m going to tell you what men really dig and don’t dig about women. No bullsh*t, just the truth. Because you can handle the truth. You don’t deserve the bullsh*t.

1. A woman has to be a knockout for men to notice her. (Shallow bullsh*t.)

Ladies, you don’t have to be hot. If you want men to check you out, be confident. Those are the women who drive men wild. If you can strut into a room and own it in your own special way, the right men will melt right in front of you.

To keep it 100, if you consider yourself a “5” on the Typical American Beauty Scale, be the sexiest, funkiest 5 you can be. You may end up turning on a guy who’s an 8.

2. A woman has to be thin for guys to like her. (Body-shaming bullsh*t.)

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Many men love women with curves. I’m one of them. In fact, a sh*tload of dudes these days like a big booty. There hasn’t been a time in recent modern American history like now, where women who are “thick” have been fawned over publicly.

Now, if you wish to lose weight for health reasons, go for it. But if you are comfortable in your soft skin, rock your humps. Trust me, there is a man at your job, your local grocery store, or your favorite bar who’s checked out every inch of your shape and is loving what he sees.

3. A man will be hesitant to date a woman with children. (Selfish bullsh*t.)

Why? Because most women after the age of 25 have children. Any person who tells you, a single mom, that your kids may keep men away are full of sh*t. Now, I can say that the number of kids a woman may have can be a dating deterrent. But if a guy falls in love with you, that simply won’t matter.

4. A man won’t respect a woman who sleeps with him on the first date. (F*cking bullsh*t.)

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A smart, evolved man knows that women, like men, are sexual creatures. And sexual creatures like to have sex. To put in in layman’s terms, sometimes, ladies want to have sex. Right now. With the cute, chiseled guy they just met. And that’s fine. It’s human, not abnormal.

The only people in 2017 who still slut-shame women are guys who never get laid and women who never get laid. In fact, I’m not sure I actually want to be friends with someone who hasn’t had a least 5 one-night stands in their lifetime.

5. Smart women intimidate men. (“Bro!” bullsh*t.)

Simply, this is something dumb men say. Every, and I mean every, accomplished, successful man I know, loves or has married bright women. Smart women rock on so many levels. Once again, the only men (and, unfortunately, some women) who spout this sh*t are idiots. Idiots with little to no self-esteem.

6. Strong women intimidate men. (Wimpy bullsh*t.)

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Dumb men are afraid of smart women. Men with a poor self-image don’t like smart women. Ladies, a guy who fits my latter description is a guy you don’t need. Strong women fascinate the right men. They drive away the wrong ones.

Now, don’t get “strong” confused with “difficult.” Most men won’t approach a woman who’s distant and hard to know. But women who are smart, headstrong, and have their sh*t together? For the most part, they don’t have problems attracting the same kind of men. Girls, don’t dim your star for a matchstick.

7. Quirky women won’t go far in the world. (Antiquated bullsh*t.)

Quirky, heavily tattooed, head shaved on the side women are winning in 2017. Women who don’t follow beauty/style and societal norms are making moves and running sh*t like never before. Ladies, you can rock your alternative sensibilities, and in many cases, they won’t work against you.

In some places/settings, they could be a help. Due to relaxed rules and attitudes, you can sport your multicolored hair and your (presumably) liberal views and be a f*cking boss. This item may be true in only certain parts of the country, but if you live in a liberal area, let your freak flag fly.