Burger King Now Offers 18+ 'Happy' Meals With Adult-Only Sex Toys Inside

Last week I picked up my 3rd grader from school and took him to McDonald's for a Happy Meal as a treat. Lucky for him, his about-to-be-favorite film, The Lego Batman Movie, was released the same day, so his special treat came with an extra-special toy.

Which got me thinking, a movie I very much wanted to go see was being released that very same day — coughs*50 Shades Darker*coughs — but, no fair! I didn't get a toy!

As people do these days, I shared my tale of woe with my friends on Facebook:

"Can someone please explain why McDonald's isn't doing a 50 Shades Darker happy meal? 'Wartenberg wheel, flogger, paddle, blindfold, nipple clamps ... Supplies limited. Collect them all!' #missedopportunities"

Well, lo and behold, turns out Burger King wasn't messing around when they chose "Have it your way" as their slogan ...

It turns out that for one day only (Valentine's Day, of course) Burger King is offering a very grown-up — and VERY happy — meal for two. According to AdWeek, the fast food chain says:

“Kids have got their ‘Kid’s Meal.’ But what about grown-ups? Adults? Shouldn’t they have their own meal too? At least on Valentine’s Day?”

The tasty Valentine's Day happy meal dinner includes:

"2 Whoppers
2 packs of french fries
2 beers
A romantic ADULT TOY inside"

YES! That's right! A burger fries, beer and a sex toy!

Unfortunately for me, and for most of you reading this, this sexy party in a box won't be easy to come by.

Of course, being a Jewess who has proudly boasted of my people's lack of shame surrounding sexuality, it doesn't surprise me in the least that Burger King is only making this option available in Israel. 

Honestly, a comment on YouTube summarizes this delicious giveaway best: Burger Kink.

Indeed!

And I'm lovin' it! (wink wink...)