8 Signs Your Guy Is All Talk — And Won't Commit
If these behaviors sound familiar, your man will not commit to you.
theboone | Getty Images Signature It happened! You’ve clicked with someone! He’s just your type, the intimacy is great, he makes you laugh and... what? He says he’s looking for a relationship. Have you stumbled upon the jackpot?
Slow your roll for just a second before you start ringing the wedding bells. It could be everything you’ve been searching for, or it could be too good to be true. He may just be telling you what you want to hear. Or, he may actually believe in the moment that he’s sincere, but he’s really just caught up in the passion.
How can you tell if he’s just talking the relationship talk and not ready to walk the relationship walk?
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Here are 8 signs he's not ready for commitment:
1. He doesn’t make you a priority
He likes hanging out with you and you always have fun together, but you’re not exactly number one (or even number two) on his list. You often find yourself put aside for other hangouts or occasions.
Of course, everyone’s allowed to have their own friends and their own life, but if he’s not factoring you into his plans and only telling you about things after the fact, he’s not ready for a relationship with you.
2. You have to ask for his attention
A guy who really wants to be in a relationship with you will let you know. He will constantly want to be around you and he’ll constantly want to give you his attention.
You won’t have to ask him to take you out to dinner or to a basketball game. He’ll want to woo you. If you constantly have to do the "Hey, look over here" dance, he doesn’t want to be serious. He just likes the intimacy.
3. He takes forever to respond to your messages
A lot of people think that this is just part of the dating game. He takes two hours to respond to your text, so then you have to take three and it spins out of control from there. Nonsense. If he actually really likes you, he’ll respond to your messages when he gets them.
If he doesn’t respond immediately, he’ll even apologize for it when he does respond. A guy who doesn’t take you seriously will respond to you whenever it suits him, or sometimes not at all.
4. He cancels plans last-minute
If you find that you’re constantly rescheduling or that he flakes out on your plans, then he’s not into you like you thought he was. This is a lesson in going by action instead of taking him at his word.
A lot of women get swept up in the logic of "But he said this!" and it makes them emotionally confused when he displays classic signs of non-interest. Don’t go by what he says, go by what he does. If he cancels on you more than once, get rid of him.
5. He always has a convincing argument
When you confront him about canceling plans or not responding in a timely manner, he always has a defense at the ready. Be careful now, because you may be dealing with a manipulator.
Manipulators know how to flip the situation in their favor to make it seem like you were out of line for accusing or questioning them in the first place. Does he ever say he’s sorry, or does he just have a built-in excuse?
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6. He has a bad personal track record
Don’t just look at how he is with you, look at the bigger picture of his life. Is he the kind of guy who sticks to his word, or does he make proclamations and then consistently fail to follow through?
A good indicator that a guy is not ready for a relationship is that he can’t complete other personal goals he’s made for himself. He says he’s going to leave this job and find another one but doesn’t. He says he’s going to go back to school but never does. And there’s always some excuse.
7. He also has a bad relationship track record
Is he the kind of guy that has been in relationships, or has he been the kind of guy that flits from woman to woman? Don’t get yourself in the business of trying to change someone or thinking that you’re going to be the one to put a halt to his player behavior.
He may really like you, but old habits die hard and you don’t want to get caught in the crossfire.
8. He’s focused only on himself
A lot of people seem to forget that the very word "relationship" implies the connection between two people. You can’t be selfish when you’re in a relationship. Of course, everyone must always look out for themselves, but selfishness is different.
He should want to take care of you and put his time and energy into you just like you would for him. If it seems like the scales are tipped more one way than the other, then it’s not going to work. If he’s too interested in himself, he won’t be able to give what a relationship requires.
Taylor Markarian is a freelance writer and editor with a special interest in music, lifestyle, culture, the arts, entertainment, and literature. Her work has been featured in Reader's Digest, Fox News, Insider, BRIDES, Alternative Press, Loudwire, Kerrang!, and MSN, among many other publications.