10 Reasons Your Greatest Love Might Be Someone Who's Already In Your Life
That person you've been dreaming of? Chances are high they're right under your nose.
Jacob Lund | Canva You never know where love might come from — it likes to sneak up on you.
You might get swept off your feet by a stranger or find yourself unable to stop thinking about a new co-worker. Love doesn’t always spring up in the most logical of places.
That being said, in my opinion, the best kind of unexpected love is when you look around one day and realize, “OMG, am I falling in love with my friend?”
Because falling in love with a friend might be the best romantic equivalent of a win-win situation there is.
Not only have you stumbled into a new love (yay!), but you’ve also found romance in one of the most comfortable places possible. You’ve realized that a person who is already in your life — an important person, a person you value — also makes your heart flutter and gives you butterflies in your stomach.
That’s like winning the lottery. That’s a best-case scenario. Here's why.
Why the great love of your life may be someone you already know quite well
1. They understand your needs and wants already.
They get you 100%. You don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. You can just be your normal, weird, broken self, and they already love you for it.
2. Your bond is built on shared memories.
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The emotional stuff is nice, but even just sharing the friend stuff is phenomenal. The movies you love, your favorite bars, bad K-Pop karaoke … you know they’ll appreciate (and share) all of the crazy things that make you smile.
3. You skip awkward first-date jitters.
Because you already know everything about them. And you didn’t have to learn about their past in the super-awkward “girlfriend learning about a boyfriend’s former conquests” way.
If you were friends first, you’ve heard all of their love-gone-wrong stories before — you’ve laughed about them, consoled them — so you were able to experience their past without being threatened.
4. They know exactly what makes you smile.
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They get you the best birthday gifts. No more holiday gift cards from your special someone. Your friend knows what you actually love and/or hate, and when it comes to buying you a present, they deliver.
5. They already fit seamlessly into your world.
This is a big benefit of falling for someone who’s already in your life — no more relationship exposition. You don’t have to explain the convoluted backstory about why your mom doesn’t talk to your sister or describe why your work friends and your college friends don’t get along.
They already KNOW.
6. They get your humor and make you laugh.
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Not only does a true friend really get your sense of humor, but when you hook up with a friend, you’ll find yourself giggling, thinking, “OMG, I’m kissing my best friend!”
It can be weird at first. Suddenly, you’re grinding on this person you’ve known for years or letting them see you naked, and it can feel so absurd.
But it’s absurd in the best possible way.
7. They know how to support you through anything.
When you start a new relationship, you spend a fair amount of time feeling your new partner, figuring out what buttons they have and how you can push them.
But, when you fall in love with an old friend, they already know your strengths and weaknesses.
They know what you’re insecure about, they know what you’re secretly ashamed of, and they know how to tread lightly around those issues and make sure you feel loved.
8. Your social circle feels naturally complete.
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New relationships normally mean that you have to learn to make nice with everyone in your partner’s life, which can be a pain if their friends and family suck.
Yet, when you kick off a relationship with an old friend, you’re making sure that you’re going to surround yourself with, if not friendly, at least FAMILIAR faces. And that makes things a lot easier.
9. They've seen you at your worst and still love you.
Chances are, if someone is a long-time friend, they’ve been able to witness you at a few of your lowest moments.
They’ve seen you weak, sad, ugly, and afraid.
And they still stuck around because you were important to them. Being able to enter a relationship knowing that the other person has seen you at your worst and loves you anyway… that’s a powerful thing.
10. Friendship laid the foundation for effortless love.
It’s easy to look at a person and think, “Boy, they’re HOT. I want a piece of that.”
That’s a very simple, lizard-brain way to start a relationship. “Me want him.” “Me want her.” “Me think you smell nice.”
However, the really difficult part of building a successful romance is trying to build a connection with the other person once you get past the physical attraction.
OK, so you’re hot… NOW WHAT?
Fortunately, when you fall into an unexpected romance with someone close to you, that relationship-building is already done. You don’t have to worry about what’s beyond the physical because you were drawn to that person previously for more than just their relative level of hotness.
They are your friend!
You are already connected to that person on a deeper level, so if you fall for each other, that emotional foundation is already there, waiting for you to build something special on top of it.
Elizabeth Ayers-Callahan is a freelance writer whose mission is to help other women succeed. Her work focuses on relationship issues and personal fulfillment.