How Falling In Love Taught Me To LOVE The Missionary Position

When I was a young man, I used to HATE the missionary position.

It’s not that it didn’t feel good. (It did.) But, when it came to sex, missionary always felt like the plain white bread of sexual positions. It was the erotic equivalent of bottled water, vanilla ice cream, unsweetened ice tea.

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In my mind, missionary was the kind of sex you had when you just wanted to get things over with OR when you just didn’t know enough to try anything more exciting.

Whenever I’d have sex, I’d find myself trying to specifically choreograph our movements to make sure we were avoiding missionary. “What if I put my leg here… let’s just get on this chair… what about moving to the shower…”

I think I was afraid that, if my partner saw me settling for missionary, she would think that I was boring, complacent, or sexually dull.

But then something unusual happened that changed how I viewed missionary sex FOREVER.

I fell in love.

I know, I know — that almost sounds as corny as missionary sex itself, but it truly made a huge difference in how I experienced sex with another person.

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For the first time ever, I wasn’t afraid of my sexual partner. I wasn’t nervous that she’d judge me or think that I was inadequate.

I just loved her, I felt at home with her, and that put a lot of my sexual anxieties to rest. I didn’t feel the need to show her “how much I knew.” I wasn’t afraid that she’d think sex was underwhelming if we weren’t in Kama Sutra poses or covered in toys.

I just wanted — prepare yourselves for this — I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to see her while we had sex. I wanted to look into her eyes and kiss her and tell her how amazing she was.

And guess what? If those are your sexual goals, missionary is the PERFECT sexual position for that.

Does that mean that we ONLY have missionary sex now? HELL NO.

But missionary has become the star of the show, the closing act to our rock festival of naughtiness. It’s not boring anymore at all.

As we lead up to it, we can do whatever we want. (Our new devotion to missionary actually made me much more aware of getting my partner to orgasm before the intercourse even starts, which she appreciates.) We play, we experiment, we act like goofy teenagers.

However, when things get serious and we want to raise the stakes emotionally, that’s when missionary comes in. I might’ve scorned it as a young man, but I have yet to find a sexual position that brings a greater sense of intimacy to our relationship.

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We actually feel connected during missionary sex, which is something I can’t say if we’re facing away from each other or attempting to do tantric hand-stands.

And I never would’ve realized that until I found the perfect partner to share it with.

So, you have my apologies, missionary sex. Until I fell in love, I had no idea how wonderful good ol’ “Man on top / Woman on bottom” sex could be.

Be sure to keep that in mind, dear readers. If missionary sex feels boring to you, it might be because you’re just doing it with the wrong person.