8 Ways Good Friendships Die (And How To Save Them)
Think ahead before you land into a world of regret.
WeHearIt Being best friends with someone is like having a twin that you can share all your secrets, interests, and clothes with; someone who is like a carbon copy of you (hello, double trouble).
It doesn't matter if you've known each other since kindergarten or met in college, when the two of you are together, you're unstoppable.
Of course, just like any relationship, there can be some bumps in the road along the way, but because you two are so close, you tend to get over these rough patches pretty easily.
Unfortunately, there will be times when you and your BFF have totally differing views about something that can start a full-on argument.
It doesn't matter if it's about guys, makeup, or other friends, sometimes these kinds of arguments can RUIN friendships. So, how do you get past these tough times?
Well, you can always apologize to each other (duh), but sometimes, apologizing isn't enough. Sometimes, you really need to show your BFF that a silly little argument isn’t going to break your bond as friends.
We can often forget that while our best friends know what we're like, they can still get offended or upset by things we say or do. By not taking the time to save your friendship when things turn sour, what you're really doing is telling her that she doesn't mean that much to you.
When you know the two of you have something really great going on, you’re going to do all you can to make sure it stays that way, amirite?
Don't sweat it too much if you're in a hard place with your BFF right now because there is always a way to fix things.
It can be hard to know just how friendship dies, but if you try to avoid these obvious no-nos, you can save yourself the heartache of losing your best friend.
1. You criticize her flaws.
Sorry ladies, but unfortunately Beyoncé is the only one in this world who’s flawless. But that doesn’t mean you should criticize anyone (especially your best friend) for who she is or what she looks like. The same goes for nitpicking your own flaws in front of your BFF, making her feel even worse about herself; talk about a sh*tty way to knock her confidence down.
There's a reason this girl is your best friend and it isn't just because the two of you love margaritas and karaoke. Treat her like the rock star she is by building up her confidence when she needs it the most (she already knows she's hot stuff any other time). Make her feel loved BECAUSE of her flaws, not in spite of them.
2. You don't tell her the truth.
Boys, shoes, denim on denim outfits... these are all things your best friend desperately needs your advice on. She trusts you to point her in the right direction because no one knows her better than you do. When you tell her it doesn't matter or you act like you don't care enough to tell her the truth, you're doing more than just letting her go out with that weird guy from the gym; you're letting her down.
Honesty is a big part of any relationship, including the one you have with your BFF. You always want her to know how much you care about her, which means you sometimes have to be honest even when it's hard. When you're open with each other, you know your friendship is built to last.
3. You take advantage of her.
The first Commandment of Friendship states that you can always share lip gloss and push-up bras as long as you return what isn't yours. Just because she's your BFF doesn't mean you can take and borrow her things whenever you want.
The more you do this, the more she'll start thinking you're only around for her things, not her. Don't let possessions cheapen the quality of your friendship; it's never worth it.
If you just can't keep your hands off her things, at least ask her before you go around taking shoes and books from her. If that's too hard, then stock your closet with some of your faves from her wardrobe.
Who's gonna care if you buy the same leather jacket as her? Everyone thinks you two are twins, anyway.
4. You're a bully.
Bullies are for playgrounds, not friendship, girl. It's all fun and games when the two of you paint the town red and act like you're the sh*t, but when you start dictating who she can hang out with and what she can wear, you're not being a friend at all.
Think about how you would feel if she started talking down to you; you'd definitely hate someone trying to control you, right?
Remember that there is a HUGE difference between standing up to your friends and bullying them. If your friendship seems a bit rocky, talk it out with her. There should be NO reason to try to manipulate a situation or be a straight-up b*tch unless you're intentionally trying to ruin your friendship.
5. You steal the guy she has a HUGE crush on.
You two might share EVERYTHING, but the only situation where you should be sharing a man is if you've been planning your joint wedding to Ryan Reynolds since you were 12.
Otherwise, snatching the guy she likes from right under her nose is just cruel, especially if she's been gushing over him for months now. Seriously?!
Not only did you just break her trust, but you also made her feel like she doesn't deserve to be in a happy relationship. You don't want your friendship to end over some guy and you DON'T want to be labeled a back-stabber.
If you genuinely have feelings for the same guy, then talk to her about it; don't just go after him because you can. If you two can't work it out, then he's probably not worth it!
6. You break the Girl Code.
The Girl Code clearly states that what is said between best friends STAYS between best friends. There is never any reason to share her deepest secrets with anyone else, especially if it was incredibly hard to do so in the first place.
Your BFF wants to know that you will always be there for her to listen when she has something to say and won't judge when she confides in you. Spilling her secrets for whatever reason is just NOT fair to her.
In situations like this, you just have to put yourself in her shoes. If everyone knew about your Nair accident or that you talk to your cat in a baby voice, you'd be embarrassed, too, right?! Give your best friend some respect because she knows you'd want the same respect from her.
7. You ditch her for a guy.
What with school, a job, and a full social calendar, life can get pretty busy but, you always make time for your BFF.
Even if you already have a boyfriend, you should already know how to balance spending quality time with him and hang out with your girl. So, when you ditch your weekly movie and martini night with her for a date night with your man, you're making her feel like she isn't as important to you as he is.
Try to create a weekly schedule if this keeps happening to you and most importantly, APOLOGIZE for your behavior. No one deserves to be ditched, especially your BFF.
8. You turn into an ENTIRELY different person around other people.
Ummm... excuse me, where's my best friend?! She's this tall, has great hair, and her fashion sense is amazing, have you seen her? Acting fake just because you're around other people besides your best friend is a BIG no-no.
Why? Because if you have a problem with being yourself around people besides her there's probably a bigger issue here. No one is going to care if you have a goofy laugh or if you and your best friend act like total nerds when you're around each other, trust me.
Acting fake is a d*ck move to your BFF because it makes her feel like she's too out of place or you're too cool for her to hang out with you and your other friends. If you have some confidence issues you need to work out, having your partner in crime by your side should make you feel better, not worse!
Remind her that not only is she the bee's knees, she's also your BFF and you want to show her off to everyone you know.