8 Brave People Share Their CRAZY, Most Bizarre Sexual Encounters

All of these sex stories are true, and all of them either happened to me or were shared with me by real people I actually know, though I offer them to you in anonymity for the dignity of everyone involved. Embarrassing things happen when people get naked together. Here are a few of those types of sexual encounters:

1. He f*cked me so hard that my NuvaRing popped out.

"I was sleeping with a jackhammer — you know, the kind of guy that just rams as hard as he can into you and doesn’t really have any other setting? I was also on the NuvaRing at the time. Mid-hammering, he stopped, I thought 'Oh good we’re done,' and he said, 'Uh, is this... is this yours?' He’d f*cked the NuvaRing out of me. Like, worked it right out and caught it on his dick like a ring toss at a carnival."

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2. He treated my boobs like punching bags.

"I was having sex with this guy and I was on top, and he suddenly started slapping my boobs around. I mean, aggressively hitting them back and forth really hard, like he was swatting at tennis balls and his hands were the rackets."

3. We took the most awkward shower ever together.

"I was with this guy and I was a bit drunk. OK, I was really drunk. Anyway, we decided to take a shower together. We got in and because I was drunk I thought to myself, 'Okay, I’m in the shower, time to shampoo up,' and I just started washing my hair. Then I realized that this was not why I had gotten in the shower with this man with the intent to hook up, but I was already all lathered up. I had to use conditioner after the shampoo, so my hair wouldn’t dry frizzy. Once I was all finished we carried on, but he just sort of stood there while I washed my hair. Sorry, Hot Dude from the Shower That One Time. That was weird."

4. I hid in the closet because I had second thoughts about a threesome.

"One time, my boyfriend and I brought a third party home. I was extremely into it at the time and then once he was in our apartment I changed my mind very quickly. I didn’t exactly know how to kick this guy out after we’d been blatantly courting him all night, so obviously I made my boyfriend do it. While he did, I hid in our closet. Naked. On top of our shoes. I just curled up in the fetal position until I got the all clear. My bare ass was on some really nice shoes, by the way."

Tenor

5. He passed out while I was giving him a blow job.

"I was going down on this guy and realized he’d passed out on me! We were in his fraternity house. I hid his pants behind his desk so he wouldn’t be able to find them quickly, left him bare-assed hanging halfway off his bed and walked down the hallway, pounding on everyone’s doors and shouting that he really needed to see them in his room right away."

6. I made him wait to have sex so I could make a playlist.

"I was sleeping with this guy who was about ten years older than me and though his experience was appreciated, we did not have much in common in terms of pop culture knowledge. I’d just heard The Weeknd’s album and loved exactly half of it and wanted to have sex to it. So the next time I went over to his house, we got into it... but after about twenty minutes I’d remembered the Weeknd. My phone was dead, so I made him wait, naked on his bed, while I made a YouTube playlist on his phone of the songs I had pre-selected to bang it out to."

7. We didn't know we were having sex on camera.

"One time, when I was in Prague, I met the most charming Aussie man staying in the same hostel. We spent the evening working our way through every Czech beer we could find and were all over each other on the way home. It was a 12-bed dorm, so we went to the downstairs pool, which was technically closed but not locked. We were naked all over the place down there: sex in the pool, sex in the sauna, sex on the lounge chairs. We headed upstairs to go to bed around 2 AM, only to come face-to-face with two giggling front desk attendants and a huge wall of CCTVs, including extensive coverage of the entire basement pool area."

Tenor

8. His farts smelled so bad we couldn't have sex.

"My boyfriend had terrible gas all day long. I thought his stomach was feeling better, so we started fooling around. When I took off his pants, they smelled so bad I actually thought he had sh*t his pants. I checked his pants for poop and then made him smell his own underwear so he knew I wasn’t exaggerating when I gagged."