To The Family Member Who Constantly Criticizes My Weight

Dear Uncle,

It hurts that I have to even write this because I know how much you love me.

When you first told me I was a good writer, I felt an immense amount of pride knowing you were proud of me. All I’ve ever wanted was to make you proud.

Your opinion means a lot to me, and I have so much love and respect for you for all that you do for me.

But there’s something I need you understand.

Words cut deep, and some of your words have let scars all over me, some more visible than others.

I understand you want the best for me, that you want me to be strong, physically and mentally.

But you’re going about it all wrong.

I’ve been overweight for almost 10 years. And for every one of those years, I’ve listened to you criticize me about my weight.

“Do you know how many calories you're eating.”

“You’ll look so much better when you’ve lost some weight.”

“I want to see you make some changes, what are you going to do about it?”

If you think you’re being helpful, you are mistaken.

You’re actually making feel pretty shitty about myself — which in no way motivates me to change. It just makes me unhappier.

You are my only “father figure,” and I’m hoping that you can change for me, that you can change the way you talk to me.

I need to know that you love me no matter what the scale says.

Yes, I know that ultimately body confidence (and ultimately my happiness) has to come from within myself, but it helps having someone you love and respect cheer you on instead of bring you down.

I know you always say you want to see me change, but the same can be said for you.

Nobody’s perfect, including you and me. And that’s OK. But we can both work to be better.

I’m willing to do it. We can do it together.