How (And Why!) To Arrange A Play-Date With Your Inner Sex Animal
And unlock your wildest secret fantasies.
weheartit Most people aren't aware that within all of our sexual psyches wild sex-creatures of every stripe secretly romp and play whenever we have sex. What begins as pleasant, passionate love-making, suddenly turns us into powerful beasts that ravage and devour us whole.
You may have looked at your own partner once (or several times) after a sexual encounter and thought, “Wow! Who was that?!”
It was your partner’s inner sex-creature. And what you also may not understand is that your own inner secret sex-creature was ecstatically engaged the entire time!
Your inner sex-creature is your innate sexual persona — which is distinct and independent from your everyday social persona.
This persona comes alive during sexual arousal and shows up when two partners have sex or while masturbating.
But without transparent communication and negotiation within sexual relationship — both with ourselves and with others — no one has a clue that their inner sex-creature exists, let alone is interacting with them on a regular basis, even as our sex-creatures drive each other to a frenzied orgasm.
But what if they could negotiate a play-date?
Now that you're aware these sex-creatures exist, take a moment to consider whether or not you know who your partner’s sex-creature is — or even your own.
To discover more about your inner sex-creature, you have to be willing to venture into the taboo, kinky, forbidden, and erotic wilderness of each of your subconscious sexual psyches.
In our sexually repressed culture, we are taught to keep the more perverse and primitive parts of sexual desire hidden and secret — so deeply, in fact, most of us don't even know they are there.
Most people have a complex and authentic sexual persona as distinct to each of us as a fingerprint and as inherent as eye color. We may not consciously acknowledge it, but it still operates below the surface of our awareness. This complexity includes primal, emotional, physical and mythic archetypal dimensions of the sexual persona that blend together to become the full spectrum of human sexual experience.
There are light aspects and shadow aspects to each of our sexual personas — the parts we show and the parts we hide. There may be tender, sweet aspects, as well as more primitive, wild, and instinctual aspects.
These archetypal sexual personas are passionately accepted and embraced within the kink/BDSM community, for whom mythical, sexual storylines, symbols, and personality types are the norm rather than the exception.
In my experiences working with hundreds of clients seeking sexual authenticity, I learned something fascinating ...
The first glimpse of their inner erotic stories — and the particular sexual personas involved — came to them in the brief, ecstatic moments leading up to the frenzied liberation of orgasm.
In those last few moments before a climax, the rich truth of authentic desire — the sex-creature — no matter how well restrained, can no longer be held back. It bursts forth through the layers of protective resistance that have kept it hidden. It enters and animates the body in wild, fierce gestures. It explodes from the voice in expressions of truncated blasphemy.
"Oh, God! F*ck me! YES! Please! Harder! Deeper!”
Or less decipherable, more primitive grunts and screams.
This is just a climactic sound byte from the full story — a deeper internal dialogue being expressed out loud in one short gasp.
For those engaged in vanilla sexuality, these last moments before orgasm can be like unlocking a highly compacted zip-file of what I call your “personal erotic myth.” In that moment, the story is played out in the subconscious sexual psyche like the super speedy talk of the guy reading the disclaimers at the end of those pharmaceutical commercials. Only WAY faster! And therefore barely decipherable.
When you slow down those moments before orgasm to observe what's going on, you can see the story driving YOU to orgasm (or to another deep, erotic state).
Within that packed and condensed zip-file, there is a rich, compelling tale unfolding.
It is a story generated and played out deep within your erotic psyche whenever you have sex. Like any story, there is a prolog, setting, props, attire, characters, dialogue, body language, and action.
Your partner's own persona combined with your own represents a dyad drawn from a pantheon of pairs in the collective erotic archives. Examples of these types of pairings include:
- Dominants and submissives
- Masters and slave
- Beauties and Beasts
- Supreme b*tches and their cuckolds
- Teachers and students
- Bad boys/girls with good boys/girls
- Rapist and victim
- Mommy/Daddy and their baby boy/girl older
The list goes on and the gender pairing options are seemingly endless.
Some people have one single theme they stay with, and some move fluidly through a wide variety. Often, an overriding sense of alpha/beta dominance and submission is at play, especially in its more primitive forms of predator/prey.
Any and all of these expressions can be valid and authentic.
Does everyone have a mythic, archetypal sex-creature?
Maybe not. But those who do are far more prevalent within the sexual landscape than many people want to believe.This is simply our personal sexual baseline. This is our normal!
Finding safe ways to express these sex-creatures in conscious and consensual ways can be powerful, healing, and ecstatically fulfilling.
A hallmark of practicing conscious engagement of your sexuality is that there be should be nothing involved that is harmful or non-consensual when you engage with partners. Being consciously sexual means encouraging whatever is true and authentic in the realm of anyone's sexual fantasies — including your own. It means expressing and exploring those fantasies with as little judgment, shame, and fear as possible.
Clearly negotiated consent, boundaries, and other conscious practices can support the expression of any sexual desire — no matter how taboo or wild our sex-creatures may be.
The fact is, we are already having unconscious, secret play-dates with our partners.
When we become open to learning more about our personal erotic myths and the specific stories that drive us to an orgasmic state, play can take a more conscious, meaningful form. Mutual arousal becomes deeper and more precise.
It’s important to share the most taboo aspects of our desires in a transparent, conscious way so our sex-creatures can come out of hiding for the most fulfilling sex of our lives.