6 Things That REALLY Happen To Mama's Boys When Their Moms Die
Mommy can continue to have a hold on him after death.
weheartit Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major epidemic in the dating scene, and it's one that is crippling a lot of adults' ability to have a normal relationship. It's called being a "Mama's Boy," and it affects men throughout the world.
When you're a Mama's Boy, your mom is the #1 woman in your life and she controls just about everything you do.
When a Mama's Boy tries to date, he might get laid. He might even get engaged or married. However, his relationships are never a dynamic duo. Instead, they are an awkward threesome: the wife, the hubby, and the hubby's mother.
There's a constant power struggle between the guy's girlfriend and his mother, no matter how old he is. More often than not, the girl gets sick of dealing with his unsettlingly close relationship with his mother and eventually leaves.
Mama's Boys don't want to grow up. They want to stay with their moms for the rest of their lives, and they may even go so far as to live with them past the age of 35. They love their moms, but not in a healthy way.
He still relies on her for emotional stability, emotional support, and even emotional intimacy. In other words, it's borderline incestuous. They even might use their mom as a shield to help them avoid making decision on their own or to avoid putting their foot down. Though they may have good careers, these men are still little boys who don't want to ever face a full adult life.
There's an inherent problem with Mama's Boys that most people don't really talk about. The fact is that, eventually, every Mama's Boy's mom will die. This leaves the now-adult man without a mother figure in his life. You'd think this means that they would finally be free to love another woman, right? Right?
It all depends on the level of Mama's Boydom that the guy has. These are the most common reactions I've observed, from personal experience.
1. The Crumple
If a Mama's Boy is so ensnared in his mother's grip that he refuses to even move out of his parents' house at a reasonable age, chances are high he will crumple. When a man is so dependent on Mommy for his personal identity, they stop being able to function without her.
They might quit jobs. They might not pay their own bills. They might not even be able to talk to people in a normal way anymore. Guys who deal with the crumple are complete, utter trainwrecks — and they might never recover.
2. The Late Rebellion
Other guys who felt oppressed by their moms might end up having a midlife crisis of sorts. They may start drinking heavily, start using drugs, or even get aggressive with other men. Simply put, they no longer feel like they have to earn their mother's approval and that makes them go a little crazy. It may take decades for them to fully end their rebellion.
3. The Replacer
Mama's Boys who just needed a shoulder to lean on will often turn to their wives or girlfriends for a new replacement mother figure. This sounds nice, and it's a relatively nice outcome, considering that all the others seem to have worse issues.
However, the Replacer will often become overwhelmingly clingy or may even try to get you to adopt his mother's habits. In some cases, unaddressed baggage might also come into play.
4. The Permagriever
This guy is shattered emotionally by his mother's death, and while he might not completely crumple, he will never really get over her death. This makes him pretty depressing to be around and it can also end up killing relationships. Most likely, he will not go to therapy or counseling for his grief.
5. The "Can I Have Another Chance?" Man
This is a guy who feels like he's ready to have a relationship now that his mother is no longer competition to other women. The only problem is he's emotionally stunted. He can't stand up to others because that was his mother's job.
He constantly will pit others against one another because that was the dynamic he got used to. He will tell others to take responsibility for his actions. In other words, he will never actually deserve the second chance he wants.
6. The Hater
Sometimes, the toxic dynamic of a bad Mama's Boy relationship turns a man into an angry, bitter, and hateful person. When she's gone, he might act out against all women... and it's not pretty.
The bottom line is that Mama's Boys are not people you want to date or marry. Even if his mother dies, she will still have a grip on him that isn't worth dealing with.