He's Not 'Too Busy' — He Just Doesn't Like You
"Busy" is a euphemism for "no."
GRSI / Shutterstock Ever notice how some guys just seem to swoop in, grab your digits, date you once, then get a bunch of work piled on their plates? It's a phenomenon that I've noticed with guys, too.
Just when you feel like it might start going places, guys start brushing you off, citing work or school as an issue. It sucks, especially when you actually like the guy a lot and would want to see a future with him.
Knowing all this, I need to give you some bad news.
Him saying he's busy is a crock. It's not that he's too busy to date you; in fact, I can assure you that he's looking for what he thinks is love. It's not that he got a stack of new assignments from his chastity-enforcing boss. It's not even that he's really career-oriented.
It's that he's really just not that into you.
The truth is that even the busiest of men will make time for people they really care about, or even people they could see themselves potentially dating.
Think about it: If A-list celebrities can date and marry women, what's keeping the local manager of the Quick-Chek from doing the same? Even if he works a high-powered position in a law firm, he will find a way to text and call you just to tell you how awesome you are.
When a guy says he's busy, he's basically saying three little things:
1. "Don't argue with me or call me out on my BS."
When a guy says he's busy, he actually knows what you're asking for is still very reasonable. He just doesn't want to feel like a bad guy.
The end result is that he wants to make you look like the bad guy by explaining how he's busy.
2. "Your time isn't worth mine."
In other words, this relationship is inherently imbalanced.
He doesn't view spending time with you as important as you view spending time with him. If it was, then he would have been a bit more attentive.
3. "I'm not into you."
Because really, if he was, he would actually give a crap if you were upset with him and he would want to spend time with you.
It's not all bad. At the very least, him saying that he's "busy" shows that he doesn't value you and what you offer him. It shows that he thinks you are, at best, just an option.
It shows that you are currently below his interests in getting dinner alone, binge-watching Netflix alone, and sitting at home reading after a long day at work. Is that really what you want to have in a guy?
Truthfully, we need to thank guys who are rude enough to actually use the "I'm busy" line when talking to us. They show us where we stand, and they show us that our efforts aren't going to be appreciated by them.
In other words, they give us an "out" and allow us to not feel bad about kicking them to the curb... and in this dating world, that's actually a big rarity.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. Follow her on Twitter for more.